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Working to reverse 8 years of negative body image (Anonymous)

May 19, 2010

age-23
births 1, children 1 beautiful girl
4 months PP

I’ve always been athletic and worked hard to stay in shape. In highschool I took it to the next level and restricted myself to 1000, then 900, then 600, then 500 calories a day, this started a slippery slope of anorexia, bulimia, exercise purging that lasted until the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. even three years of treatment and bouts in the hospital for inpatient treatment couldnt cure me, but knowing I needed to grow another life, and nourish her, DID!….

My pregnancy was easy, and somewhat liberating, for the first time I ate whatever i wanted during pregnancy which was something i hadnt done since i was 8. I enjoyed having an “excuse” to let my body grow and I liked the shape of my pregnant body. im a strength and conmditioning coach and personal trainer so that kept me active and i continued to work out moderatley,that kept my weight gain to a minimum. I dont have a lot of stretch marks on my tummy just two n my sides but a ton on my thighs and butt bc they have grown a ton, lots of cellulite and a pooch, I know I should be lenient but its still a struggle especially in my profession.

For the first 8 weeks after my baby was born I felt good about myeslf, the weight came off easily and then some. But now that I am4 months PP I feel I no longer have the excuse of “i just had a baby” and I have such a hard time viewing myself positively because of the years of self hate. I try daily to give myself slack knowing that my body is different now after having a baby and my husband is trying desperatley to help me to see that my body isnt what makes me a good person. Ive recently started yasmin birth control and have been gaining weight with no change in my eating habits and an increase in workout time, my hair is also starting to fall out more, has anyone else experienced these side effects?

Thank you all for participating in this sight seeing everyones positive outlooks and knowing everyone struggles just like me helps me get through everyday and stay in recovery (1 year this month!)….i have attatched pictures taken yesterday so they show my recent weight gain

pics are from 4 months PP and two pics from 35 weeks pregnant

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14 Responses to “Working to reverse 8 years of negative body image (Anonymous)”

  1. Suzanne Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 8:09 am

    wow you look perfect. please don’t lose any weight, your skinny with beautiful curves, i would kill for a body like yours!!

  2. Tracy Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 8:12 am

    I’m sorry to hear about your past struggles, but congratulations on your one year and your new babe that’s awesome. You have a great body and you should be proud of it, I would love to look like you :)

  3. Natalie Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 8:39 am

    My hair fell out after each of my kids…something about pregnancy hormones makes your hair not fall out, and so a few months after baby, all that hair that hadn’t been falling out, kinda all starts coming out at once. It can be unnerving, but it slows down after awhile.

  4. Colleen Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 10:05 am

    You look fantastic! I know women who would kill to have your body BEFORE a baby!

    The hair falling out is a normal hormonal thing. It starts around 3 months post-partum as your hormones start to even out after the pregnancy. It’s annoying, and worrisome at times, but it will slow down eventually.

    One thing I’ve learned from this site is to embrace “nine months on, nine months off”. Sure, you didn’t JUST have a baby anymore, but it took your body 9 months to grow that baby and add the weight, so give it 9 months to lose the weight before you start feeling down on yourself. You look beautiful and womanly and THIN, please realize that you have a fantastic body and learn to embrace it!

  5. van Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 10:30 am

    you look so incredible!

  6. steph Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 11:38 am

    my hair fell out like crazy starting at three months post. now i have all these little wispy baby hairs all over my head, it’s so frustrating. ps: your body is top model perfect. congratulaions on your new baby too!

  7. Lauren Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 11:52 am

    Wow you don’t even look like you have been pregnant! You have an amazing figure!

  8. TracyKM Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Having your hair fall out at about 4 months PP is totally normal, esp. if you don’t breastfeed. Your pregnancy hormones are pretty much depleted, and while each hair follicle grows on it’s own schedule, when you have the hormonal change, it’s all a big mess, LOL.
    I hope you don’t lose anymore weight, you look very feminine, womanly, sexy.

  9. kat Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    wow you look phenomenal! i only hope to look as good after i have my baby. do you mind me asking how much you gained? you should be very very pleased w your gorgeous bod and to boot you brought a BABY into this world. :)

  10. "Georgia" Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    You look amazing. You really do!! But I know what it feels like to be told you look amazing over and over and never have it sink in. About your birthcontrol, You might want to consider looking into the paragard IUD. No hormones. That might be whats causing your extra weight gain. You should check out my post, its rather new, look under first pregnancy. Loving my mommy body.

  11. Amy Says:
    May 20th, 2010 at 3:02 am

    You look great- re: yasmin- yes my neighbour had the same side effects. I myself was on diane for a few years and felt ‘low’ emotionally when i was on it- my husband and i have been using condoms since i went off the pill years ago and it is one of the best things i’ve ever done- have you considered this? also, if you think the pill may be giving you side effects, you could stop it for say 3 months and use condoms and that way you will see if you feel any change, if not, just go back to using the pill- for me, when i went off the pill, the change was almost instant- i felt light, happy and like i had emotions instead of feeling vaguely ‘medicated’- best of luck.

  12. Andrea Says:
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:41 am

    You look beautiful, time to start loving yourself!

    I’m personally trying to come to terms with my weight/body issues. I also just had a daughter, and I do NOT want to pass my issues on to her. Hang in there and stay positive!

  13. sigal Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 11:05 am

    in my contry popepol wil say thet you jast want to show off. it simes oalmost thet you do it on perpes and you knew thet you have agood bady. i’ll whil give aevry thing to have abody like yor’s.

    ?????? ?? ?????? ?????, ??? ?? ????? ???????.

  14. lizz Says:
    May 30th, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    you look amazing!!!!!!i hope things pick up for you!!!

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