births 1, children 1 beautiful girl
4 months PP
I’ve always been athletic and worked hard to stay in shape. In highschool I took it to the next level and restricted myself to 1000, then 900, then 600, then 500 calories a day, this started a slippery slope of anorexia, bulimia, exercise purging that lasted until the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. even three years of treatment and bouts in the hospital for inpatient treatment couldnt cure me, but knowing I needed to grow another life, and nourish her, DID!….
My pregnancy was easy, and somewhat liberating, for the first time I ate whatever i wanted during pregnancy which was something i hadnt done since i was 8. I enjoyed having an “excuse” to let my body grow and I liked the shape of my pregnant body. im a strength and conmditioning coach and personal trainer so that kept me active and i continued to work out moderatley,that kept my weight gain to a minimum. I dont have a lot of stretch marks on my tummy just two n my sides but a ton on my thighs and butt bc they have grown a ton, lots of cellulite and a pooch, I know I should be lenient but its still a struggle especially in my profession.
For the first 8 weeks after my baby was born I felt good about myeslf, the weight came off easily and then some. But now that I am4 months PP I feel I no longer have the excuse of “i just had a baby” and I have such a hard time viewing myself positively because of the years of self hate. I try daily to give myself slack knowing that my body is different now after having a baby and my husband is trying desperatley to help me to see that my body isnt what makes me a good person. Ive recently started yasmin birth control and have been gaining weight with no change in my eating habits and an increase in workout time, my hair is also starting to fall out more, has anyone else experienced these side effects?
Thank you all for participating in this sight seeing everyones positive outlooks and knowing everyone struggles just like me helps me get through everyday and stay in recovery (1 year this month!)….i have attatched pictures taken yesterday so they show my recent weight gain
pics are from 4 months PP and two pics from 35 weeks pregnant