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What I feel on the inside doesn’t match the outside… (Anonymous)

June 7, 2011

I am 16 months pp and have slowly lost a few pounds here and there. It’s not the weight that gets me down, but how my body has become so misshapen. My breasts are so saggy and the one is double the size of the other. My back side is just a blob of fat. I don’t feel sexy anymore. I can’t physically do the things I used to. I know that for my health and so I can live a long life, I need to lose weight, but it gets me so down. When I get ready and look in the mirror I see a beautiful person, but when I see pictures, I’m so ashamed at what my body looks like.

A month before I had my daughter, her dad left me. I have this thought in the back of my head that if I lose the weight and start looking good that he’ll notice me and come back. Believe me, I know all the things wrong with that statement :)

Maybe some of you have some advice about what to do to be motivated when you are so down about your body. I love my little girl sooooo much and would do it all over again, but I want me back. I want parts of the person I was before I had her back also.

Age 25
1 Pregnancy, 1 Birth
Girl, Reese, age 16 months

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14 Responses to “What I feel on the inside doesn’t match the outside… (Anonymous)”

  1. Dee Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Hey there Miss Anonymous, thanks for sharing. For me, after I shared, that in itself helped me with my body image. I’m 17 so I couldn’t have any nudity in my picture this post, but I plan on posting again when I turn 18 and that motivates me to try to progress before then.

    I’m not sure what to tell you about your breasts. Mine are also different sizes and the bigger one sags more, except mine shriveled up after pregnancy and what were once C-cups are now A’s. Lol. I’m just trying to learn to love them even though they’re tiny and uneven.

    I’m sorry about your daughter’s daddy, but your appearance should be the last reason he comes back. A better reason would be that he realizes that he gave up a beautiful woman and baby and wants to be in your and her lives, but I wouldn’t try to focus on that.

    And motivation tips.. When I started working out I wasn’t motivated AT ALL. I thought I don’t have the time, I’m too tired, and the effort I can put into it won’t be enough, but I started working out anyways. Now I feel stronger and healthier. I have more energy and I’ve lost some weight. So my tips are:
    -Start out small, but slowly do more when you feel comfortable.
    -Go on walks when you don’t go to the gym.
    -Say something nice about a body part that you don’t like every day.
    The fact that you start to feel healthier after you start working out will be your motivation to keep it up.

    Sorry for the very long comment. I hope it helped! Your body carried and gave birth to your daughter and for that it is beautiful. Beauty comes in all forms and your body is definitely one of them! :)

  2. Fern Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 10:57 am

    You look just like I did almost 2 years after the birth of my son. All the hugs in the world to you, dont give up. It has taken me almost 2 1/2 years to lose my extra 50 lbs. I was linked to marksdailyapple.com and marks advice and the support from the forum there has really helped me lose the weight, get healthy and become happy with myself again (and its free!). Please feel free to email me if you ever need to talk. pogo0685 @ gmail dot com

  3. Dalena Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    I know that losing weight can be very difficult. I’ve struggled with it all my life. Before and after my pregnancy I visited this site frequently and that helped me to accept my body. It also gave me some motivation to start working out. I started off slow. 20 – 30 minutes of light exercise a day. I saw results after a week though it wasn’t much. That boosted my confidence and gave me more motivation. The hardest part of getting into an exercise routine is starting it. I know it’s hard to not get down on yourself about your body. I think there is a lot of women that do. But in my opinion mothers are the most beautiful being. Just look at your daughter. You created her. She will always love you unconditionally whether you have weight you feel you need to lose or not. Let her also be your motivation. & keep your chin up!!

  4. Tessa Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    I second starting off slow. Even starting at nothign more than 10 minutes a day would be FINE! I can gaurentee that soon enough, You’ll learn how energized and great you feel after working out and want to continue, and then maybe later find the motivation to do longer and longer workouts a day, or to stick to doing it every day, etc.

  5. L Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Im not a gym person either even though I am currently ttraining to be an ACE certified personal trainer. I like to work out at home and on my own time. You have to do what works for you. If you can walk with your daughter daily even for a small amount of time it all adds up. When you eat healthy and do good things for yourself it makes a huge difference of how you feel. After two kids I had 50 lbs of extra weight I lost it all plus some. You have to put effort into change it wont happen overnight but it does happen. You can be healthy and feel better for yourself not the bangs dad he doesn’t deserve you or your daughter. Someone else will come along and when your confident and happy with yourself thats a very attractive no matter the weight or body structure from what my husband and other guy friends say. Best wishes and cheer up you have a little princess!

  6. Lindsay Says:
    June 8th, 2011 at 8:02 am

    You’re but is actually really nice! Just sayin :)

  7. Lindsay Says:
    June 8th, 2011 at 8:03 am

    Oops- I meant butt!

  8. Kayla Says:
    June 8th, 2011 at 9:37 am

    First of, you are gorgeous! Who cares that you have asymmetrical breasts? I do too! To be honest, no guy that I have ever been with has cared in the slightest. You have a beautiful shape to your body and even if you don’t lose weight you are gorgeous.

    But since you are wanting to, just do it for you. Don’t do it for anyone else, not society, not your child’s father, just you. YOU are beautiful no matter what.

    I am 9 weeks pp and have lost 10 pounds since 6 weeks pp because I have been doing P90x. It takes serious commitment, but I really am loving the results I am getting and I am becoming a better mom and wife because of it. If your happy, your child and the rest of your family is happy. So, take care of you. :)

  9. Kayla Says:
    June 8th, 2011 at 9:39 am

    Oops! I forgot to mention… The great thing about P90x is that you can start off as slow as you need to. Tony encourages you to just keep moving. It doesn’t have to be pretty. (and believe me it still isn’t for me!) That is what I love about it.

  10. Suzy Says:
    June 8th, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    You still have a great body, most large breasts sag normally anyway. Your figure is still nice ,if you want to lose weight get a pair of walking shoes and do a brisk 40 minuite walk everyday. Cut out high fructose Corn syrup from your diet.

  11. Sarah P. Says:
    June 9th, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    I think you have beautiful breasts and a cute bottom. :D

    The best motivation I have for exercising and trying to stay fit is my daughter. I want to be the mom that is healthy enough to play with my grandchildren and to create wonderful memories of swimming, kayaking, camping, hiking, etc. with them. I’m imperfect (we all are) so this is something I am working on, too. :)

  12. AllieCha Says:
    August 9th, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    What a gorgeous hourglass figure!

  13. Laura Says:
    September 4th, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story! I think you have a cute bum too. =o) If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself. Exercising is tough to start, but if you just try for ten minutes a day at first of walking, or just going up & down the stairs, you may find yourself saying, “that was not so hard, maybe I could do a few minutes more tomorrow,” and soon you will find that you like the way you feel after you exercise because you accomplished something for you that is healthy! (Plus, those endorphins kick in and make you feel happier also!) Gook luck!

  14. Miss Jones Says:
    April 30th, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    Thank you for sharing. Your body looks very similar to what mind did pp with my first. The only person that can motivate you to change is YOU. That is what I learned. My family, my husband at the time, my friends all enable me to be exactly the way you are. “you are fine…don’t worry about it” is what I heard. For my frame, I am a short petite woman, and to be over 140 pounds is not good for my bone structure. I felt miserable. I finally decided after seeing photos of myself naked pp, to do something for ME. I changed for MYSELF. I’m pregnant with baby number three and estranged from my second husband. Go figure. But I will tell you, I have never loved my body more than I do now, because I do things and change things for ME and no one else. :-) Good luck to you mommy!

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