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Upset With My Body at 21 (Anonymous)

October 1, 2010

Hello everyone!! Im so glad I found this site where I can post pictures of my body and no one will be negative about it. After 9 long months I reached 38 weeks and nothing…No contractions, Cervix was closed, So on my 40th week appoiment My doctor gave me and iduction date. However a few days before my induction date I had a appoiment to check on the babys heartbeat. Her heartbeat started slowing down everyfew mins…I went so down that nurse quickly sent me to Labor and delivery. There, I started calling family and telling them. Doctors did a few different things with me to speed up the process. However my cervix didnt go past 3centimeters. They decided to wait a bit longer….They gave me the epidural and told me to try to sleep for a while. I fell asleep for like 5mins and all of a sudden like 5 or 6 doctors rushed into my room saying the babys heartbeat dropped really low and they moved me into different positions to get the baby to move. I was taken out the room by bed and was told I needed an Emergency C-section…As I was being brought into the Csection room I stated feeling cold, So cold that I started shaking a lot. I felt dizzy and felt like my body was just leaving…I started throwing up….About 30 minuted later my baby was out my stomach. I however didnt felt any better to hold her. I was shaking a lot and they cover me with blankets but that didnt worked…As soon as I saw my daughter I felt like I didnt want her, like I didnt loved her…I was taken into recovery room and I felt like crying, I really didnt feel like a mom because I believed my body failed since I wasnt able to give birth.. Even after being sent home I still felt like I wanted my baby.. I cried all the times because I didnt feel an attachment towards her…I wanted my baby delivered vaginally and wasnt able…Now Im 3 weeks PP and I feel so close to my babygirl….I love her dearly..Now my problem is my body..I hate it…I feel like my boobs have sagged a bit.. I think one is bigger thanthe other…I hate my strechmarks….and most of all I hate how my stomach hangs over my csection….I just hope im able to exercise all this away…..Thanks everyone…..

21..Age..
First pregnancy..
3 weeks PP

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15 Responses to “Upset With My Body at 21 (Anonymous)”

  1. Shannon Says:
    October 1st, 2010 at 8:22 am

    I am glad you have bonded with your baby!!!! I too had a “less than ideal birth”, an emergency ceasrean…followed by my baby being taken away from me to the NICU an hour away. I saw him 4 days later :( As far as your tummy goes, it will get better. Keep in mind you are ONLY 3 weeks pp. Enjoy your baby, and work on your body when it is ready…DO NOT push yourself. You look great right now, 3 weeks after a major surgery!

  2. sarah Says:
    October 1st, 2010 at 11:00 am

    I felt distant from my son at birth as well. My experiance was vaginal, but he came so fast I ripped open. You look great for 3 weeks pp!

  3. Sarah Says:
    October 1st, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    I agree. You JUST gave birth, sweetie. My body kept changing until I was 18 months postpartum. What your body looks like after you give birth isn’t what it’ll look like forever. After I gave birth, I threw out a lot of my clothing and bras, thinking I’d never fit into them. That was a silly first-timer’s mistake. I fit into them within ten or twelve months. Give yourself time. Give yourself time to HEAL. Then you can start working out again. Keep breastfeeding. It burns all of those calories. It’s like you’re exercising, but you’re not in those early weeks. ;) Then pick up exercising. Keep up all of those healthy habits and you’ll find that when you look back on this post your body will have changed dramatically.

  4. aca Says:
    October 1st, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    way to go momma! i delivered my first baby vaginally & had to have a c-section with the second. you did not fail. remember, you birthed your baby, despite the delivery. you are alive & healthy & so is she. your body will shrink, just eat healthy & exercise when it’s ready! you look terrific!

  5. Renee Says:
    October 1st, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    I had a near-emergency csection and can relate to everything you said. I gained 50+ lbs during pregnancy, then became very swollen from all the meds and liquids they kept adding to my system. A week after having my son–who weighed 8lb10oz–i had only lost 9 pounds. It will take 6-8 weeks for your body to recover from such major surgery, and then another several months to recover from being pregnant. So don’t be too hard on your self, you’ve gone through a LOT!

  6. Colleen Says:
    October 1st, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    Wow your scar looks great for 3 weeks postpartum! (shoot it looks great period! I’d guess several months PP, not just three weeks!)

    Keep in mind that at this point your uterus isn’t even back to it’s normal size yet. It took you 9 months to grow your baby, you can’t expect to look like you did pre-baby at just 3 weeks! And your breasts look great! Shoot, yours are perkier than mine were BEFORE I got pregnant.

    Your body most emphatically did NOT fail. The doctors tried to force it to do something that it wasn’t ready for yet, and it rebelled slightly. C-sections suck (I had one at 37 weeks because my baby was breech; I never even went into labor), and you’re allowed to be sad about it. Someday when your little girl asks about that scar on your tummy you can tell her that’s how you got to meet her! You will always carry that very special reminder of the day you became a mommy :)

  7. Ashley Says:
    October 2nd, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    You’re only 3 weeks pp, give it a year! Your stretch marks will fade A TON, and hopefully you skin will firm up too, it’s hard to say what will happen, I’d try wearing a belly binder to help get things back in the “right” place, they can help shrink your uterus too. Exercise will definitely help. Your scare looks great for only 3 weeks btw!

    I had an emergency c-section too, it sucks :( It’s taken time to accept it and be OK with it. I’m trying for a VBAC in November, I really hope things work out this time!

  8. nina Says:
    October 3rd, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    yeah, i looked exactly like you after giving birth. it took almost 2 years for me to bounce back. it’s a gradual thing–but it happens ;)

  9. Eddie Says:
    October 5th, 2010 at 10:59 am

    My story is very similar to yours. From what happened with the baby to my body. Exactly the same sadness over the “failure” and how difficult it was at the beginning with my little girl. Breastfeeding was horrible for 2 months. It took me a long time to get over the c-section and the way my stomach looked. I had a vbac in December and it really has helped me appreciate my body and accept the c-section. My stomach looked a little worst but now after almost 11 months it’s looking better with exercise. All this to let you know that you are not alone, someone else out there knows exactly how you feel, has cried your same tears. But, as with anything, time heals. Enjoy your little girl :)

  10. Arley Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    You are not a failure, you’re amazing! You may not have had the delivery you wanted, but you did what a lot of women wish they could do, and that’s get pregnant and carry that baby to full term! You grew a healthy person, that is no small feat!

  11. Barbara Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    I can tell you my belly sagged worse than your yours after my cesarean. This was my first experience and it was the shock of my life. I had no idea my belly would do that, but I will tell you it takes time for the belly to shrink back but you have to work out once you heal. Lots of cardio and pulling your belly in during exercise helps. I started working out after 1 year because my recovery was difficult, I noticed my little pouch getting smaller and smaller. The only thing that looks weird is my belly button but I’ll take that over a sagging belly any day.

  12. Kasandra Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    I had a c-section and my tummy looks like that too. I suffered from PPD because I felt that my body failed me and I failed my son as a mother by not bringing him into this world naturally. Don’t beat yourself up! You brought your baby into this world and she is safe and healthy and ALIVE. You are beautiful!

  13. Hannah Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    almost the exact same thing with me. i had cervadil(sp?) for 12 hours and i dilated a total of a half a centimeter. when i woke up from a short nap i had several doctors around me. long story short…the reason i was so upset that i didnt give vaginal birth is that my mom couldnt have kids, she adopted my brother and i becaue she had endometriosis and had to have a historectomy. iw anted it to be a bonding experiance bt us all…but she didnt even get to the hospital before they took her out of my stomach. (she live 3 streets over from the hospital. yeah. i had ppd SO bad they out me on wellbutrin. i cried every 10 minutes…it sucked. but im okay now. luck to ya

  14. Elizabeth Says:
    October 18th, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    I agree with the others, you just gave birth honey! I felt crappy about my body right after I gave birth too. Nothing looks right just after you give birth you’re body is all of of whack. Your stomach will go back not to normal but more normal eventually. It does take time. Give your body time to heal.

    I know it’s hard to deal with losing your body at a young age I turn 21 tomorrow and am now pregnant with my second child. I am dreading the changes a second pregnancy could do to my body, but if I came to terms with it the first time when I was 18 I know I can do it again.

    It will get better!

  15. Julie Says:
    November 5th, 2010 at 10:22 am

    It’s so hard when you’re young to “lose your body” so to speak. I gave birth via C-section at 23 and had 2 Vbacs after that, one at 25 and one at 26. It wasn’t until after my daughter at 26 that i really got my body back…so i know how hard it is carrying around the extra pudge. I am now 36 and 8 weeks PP with my 3rd son…amazingly enough i recovered faster this time around than with any others…but I’m still dealing with having the pouch but i’m doing so in a different way…I’m a mom…i’m also a woman but first and foremost I’m a mom. I have the scars and I have the stretch marks and I will ALWAYS have the extra skin hanging above my C-sec scar…i was a size 4 when I got pregnant and in great shape but i still had the extra skin…i’m now a size 6, i really don’t want to be a size 4 again as I’m 5ft9 but the point is we all have to learn to love our bodies the way they are….you are beautiful and so are all the women here!!! Embrace your beautiful Mommy bodies…and don’t compare yourselves to those skinny girls that don’t have babies…chances are they have their own body issues as well.

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