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My Body and I (Anonymous)

October 26, 2012

Age 24
2 children ages 7 and 3
One natural (no drugs! Woot!)
One emergency c-section

I have always had body issues. Thanks to my mother’s ex boyfriend of 5 years I was led to believe I was grotesque. How naive I was. At 5’8 and 135 lbs I was perfect. I got pregnant with my son at 16. On my 16th birthday. Lol. Happy birthday to me! His daddy was (and is) my soul-mate. We were together a year and a half before I got pregnant and I got lucky enough to suck him in with a baby. ( kidding!!!) I gained around 70 lbs with him and delivered at 215. My son gave me these stretchmarks and loose skin. He also gave me more love than I knew what to do with! He is the light of my life. Full of joy and energy. He makes my heart smile. I had my daughter in Italy at the age of 20. Her daddy wanted to see the world, and took me on an adventure. I carried her well and, as a matter of fact, was asked if I was sure I was pregnant and not just gaining weight at 6 months! My daughter gave me a scar and an understanding of life. We died on the operating table, and we fought our way back together. She is my heart. Her sense of humor lights up my life everyday. I sometimes cry in vain over my body. I refuse to leave the lights on (unless there is wine involved! Lol) I will not wear a bikini, I compare myself to other moms. I stress about what my skin is going to look like when I’m done losing the extra pounds and I get angry at my belly and myself. I am down to 180 and scared of what my hanging flap will look like at 140(my goal) but ultimately I have made peace with my body. It gave me my children, and I thats worth every dimple and stretchmark.

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7 Responses to “My Body and I (Anonymous)”

  1. Anna Says:
    October 26th, 2012 at 11:42 am

    You have the body of a mother! Be proud of that. Women want to look perfect but life isn’t about looking perfect. Some mothers do but your body tells the truth: the gift of life comes with a price and it means sacrifice. Don’t regret the fact that your body is honest and that one look at your body tells your man that you are a mother! Be proud of that! Your body is more beautiful than the body of a model who is obsessed with perfection. Her photos are nothing in comparison to the photos of a child and what’s more important life is not about looking great in the photos, life is about being surrounded by life and love.

  2. Corinne Says:
    October 29th, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Hun, I know exactly how you feel. I can’t even look at myself when I undress or when I am naked. I hate my body soooo much and would kill to have my prepregnancy body back any day. I can’t go to the store to buy clothes anymore cuz I get upset. We have the same tummy. I am 5’5 and 142lbs, but hopefully I can get back to 124 lbs by Xmas.

  3. shannon Says:
    October 30th, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I love how you look at things.
    “…he also gave me more love than I knew what to do with…” “…my daughter gave me…an understanding of life…”
    What a very great outlook! We have very similar bodies. I am 26 and have had 2 cesareans. I have the slight “overhang” like you do from the cesarean. I think you look beautiful :)

  4. Erin Says:
    October 30th, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    You are beautiful inside and out! Embrace your body, it gave you one of life’s greatest treasures :)

  5. Kim Says:
    October 30th, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    THIS http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/the-shape-of-our-hearts-christina-plant/ continues to be one of my favorite posts. As this site grows and there’s more and more to read I don’t know if everyone goes back through all the posts – her belly inspires me. And as mine loses fat and deflates, it looks more and more like Christina’s. You are beautiful, and I’m so glad you and your baby made it!

  6. Kim N Says:
    November 7th, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    your belly looks beautiful, and I loved reading your story. We all feel down at times because of our bodies, but when we look at our kids it is definitely worth it. Good luck on more weight loss, and I can’t wait for an update!! :)

  7. amy Says:
    November 9th, 2012 at 11:48 am

    your story is very similar to mine. I understand how hard it is to look at other girls our age and think ” I used to look like that and I never will again!” and I understand wanting to keep the lights off completely! I had to realize that being so consumed with my body was hurting my relationships and me. You look great by the way, nothing to leave the lights off for! Just to let you know my belly looked worse than yours for sure, and as i have lost weight my flap faded with the pounds. My belly is flat now. I am telling you that so you know that when you get down to 140 there’s a good chance your belly will shrink with the rest of you! Until then, dont hate on yourself you are beautiful! Also you have an amazing story.

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