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Love Yourself Mama, Then Love Everything Else (Bryana)

June 2, 2010

Why is it, that as women, when we are at our best, we look into ourselves and label it the “worst”?
We never seem to realize how great we are until we fall below that bar that we have set so ridiculously high for ourselves!
It is sad to see, hear, and live. And all it seems to do is cause shame and the sense of unworthiness.
And why?
Because we are not a size 0? Because we have stretch marks here, there, and every where? Because we have that last inch or more of skin that has decided it has lost all elasticity and would rather droop down then suck back up and give us a smooth, T.V. worthy tummy? Because our once perky, teenage breasts now have that motherly sag?
Because we lose our cool and yell? Because once in a while we spend an extra 5 minutes in the shower just to avoid the inevitable screaming, crying, and fighting children? Because sometimes we skip on sweeping the floors because 4 times a day just seems like enough some days? Because after making breakfast, changing diapers, doing 6 loads of laundry, plugging your ears during screaming fits, not to mention trying to make something worthy of eating for dinner, we would rather just sit on the couch for a solid 5 minutes of silence? Because, yes, we do break down and instead of stopping the children from crying, we just join them?
And because we do all these things, and have the “imperfect” yet, perfectly beautiful bodies, we feel shame and unworthiness? When did the image of a mother’s body, no matter the age, go from a natural woman, stretch marked and sagged, to an air brushed, breast implanted, and stretch mark free woman?
I want to know, because the exact millisecond this took place, women lost their pride and self esteem, and all I want is for all the women and mommies out there, to have that back.
It saddens me to read of women that are ashamed and misplaced mentally, to read stories of women that are mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by husbands, family, and friends, because they are no longer beautiful, because their bodies have become “tainted” all because we have brought beautiful gifts from God into this world.
What is our world coming to?
Why are women only perfect in magazines, and then expected to portray that on a day to day basis, and if that is not possible, then we might as well cover head to toe so no one witnesses the damaged bodies?
I love myself, 20 lbs heavier, 10 lbs lighter, skin a little looser, skin a little darker, a few less stretch marks ago… this is who I am. And I hope you can love yourself too, because that is what we are meant to do: Love ourselves. If we can do that, than we can do anything.

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23 Responses to “Love Yourself Mama, Then Love Everything Else (Bryana)”

  1. nicole Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 9:10 am

    LOVE LOVE your post!! You look gorgeous :) Congratz on your little one!!

  2. Lindsey Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 9:17 am

    Thank you for your post.. I woke up and took a shower, and because I saw myself naked it put me in a bad mood.. Well, “sad” mood.. Then I came on here to see if there was any new stories, and I read yours and I feel a little better now, and it’s hard for me to feel better.. I’m 17 and have a 5 month old daughter, and because of that I’m now covered in stretch marks from my boobs all the way down to the back of my calves, I just want my teenage soft skin no saggy boobs body back.. I just need to keep reading this story when I’m upset, for some reason this story hit me harder then others.. Thank you for it, and you look beautiful =].

  3. N Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Thank you for this…it has made me think a lot. We all do need to love ourselves a little more and I am happy for you that you do! I’m working on it as hard as I can. I also wanted to tell you that this is a great picture, you are beautiful and it has made me realize that I am beautiful too. Thank you!

  4. Jen Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 11:01 am

    AMEN AMEN AMEN you are so right…this world has become so obsessed with what is on the outside rather than the most important thing: the inside. And it may sound so cliche but it is what really matters, if we were all suddenly struck blind would we really care about how good looking or perfect a person is? NO we would want people around who treat us well and are trustworthy! I really get angry when I see people say things like I would never have had kids if I knew it would ruin my body…or the ones who have great bodies and complain they look awful etc…in the big sceme of things it doesn’t matter and we need to start accepting ourselves EXACLTY the way we are!

  5. Kerry Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 11:31 am

    Loved reading this submission, its so true, and you look SO confident and sexy! Wow! I know first hand how it feels to suffer mental and emotional abuse because of my post partum body and the women on here all say “it doesnt matter what your husband says, love you for YOU” but that’s probably scarred me more than the media, or others expectations, thats the person who knows every part of you and to not please them physically (but not be able to change it) really is tough. Ok, enough ranting. :)

    You look fantastic and thanks so much for posting this! We are all beautiful and hot!

  6. Mina Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Totally awesome post. I wish I could reclaim all the brainwaves I’ve wasted on thoughts about my body, I’ve been trying very hard not to waste any more, because you’re right – it opens up many doors to accomplish so much more when we don’t hold ourselves back.

  7. Sarah Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Wow, you are an incredible woman! That is a fantastic post and has brightened my spirits for the day. Thankyou!

  8. sara Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    I absolutely LOVED your post! I must confess that I usually skim people’s posts but yours was the first I read from beginning to end and each and every part of it was captivating and beautiful, including your picture! It’s true we need to love ourselves and it really is sad what society and the media has done to all of us. Not only has it effected some women’s self esteem but it has effected some men as well. We are forced to base value and worth on outward appearance as if “perfect” bodies is the utmost goal. REALLY? We need to make a change and this website is a perfect place to sart. I also love Dove’s real beauty campaign and religiously purchase Dove products because of it. Hey if I can support a company who is committed to using real women in advertisements, then maybe I can do my part to help make a change. I’m so happy you made this post and I think you are absolutely stunning! Whenever I have a down day I will remind myself of your wise words and CHOOSE to love myself! :)

  9. vsmama Says:
    June 2nd, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    WOW! Love your post! U r beautiful inside and out! :)

  10. monee Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 5:35 am

    Loove this post. Truth in every sentence.You are great!!!

  11. Bryana Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 10:32 am

    Thank you all for your feedback and comments.
    I used to “hate” my body. I am 23 and had my first child at 18. I was horrified about my body, but my husband loved it. He was say it all the time how he loved it and appreciated it for giving him our children. But honestly, it didn’t really matter. It only subsided the guilt and hatred I had for my bpdy temporarily because I didn’t love my body. It took a few years of accepting it and noticing all of the beautiful and remarkable things it has done. And the “flaws” that prove to myself and the rest of the world what I am capable of our truly beautiful to me now.
    And I sincerely hope each and every one of your mommies or moms-to-be can feel that way one day as well.

  12. JennDayne@hotmail.com Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 10:35 am

    You are BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for making me feel better and empowered today!

  13. Sara Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 10:54 am

    You’re beautiful. Inside and out. Thank you for sharing part of yourself!

  14. tanyetta Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 10:59 am

    very true! very true! i have had 3 sections and a myomectomy! my body is the roadmap of my 3 treasures direct from heaven!

    LOVED THIS POST!!!!!

  15. Tiana Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    i love you, and i love this. you are amazing, mama! cairo is so lucky to grow up with such an amazing motherly influence and message of confidence, and rayden will grow up to be a man like his daddy – one who loves and respects women. everytime i read this, it makes my heart smile. <3

  16. Jude Stewart Says:
    June 3rd, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    I agree with you but want you to know that I don’t believe children have to be seen as gifts from God. It’s trying to please a male idea of God, men,the patriachal system that cam make feel so powerless in the first place. What everyou believe please understand that your body made your baby – you are “Goddess.” Celebrate and whorship yourself!

  17. taiyo Says:
    June 6th, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    What an inspiring post. You are a strong, wise, powerful and beautiful woman. Thank you.

  18. Stephanie L Says:
    June 7th, 2010 at 9:46 am

    This brought tears to my eyes as well! I get so worn down with all the responsibility of my twins and then to hate looking in the mirror only made it worse. For the past month or so I have decided I will not speak an ill word of my body. I also believe every child is a gift from God. If God makes you feel worse about being a mom or a woman then something is wrong. My God blesses me and speaks to my worth no matter how I look. Amen Sister!

  19. Dee Davis Says:
    June 13th, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    My granddaughter has stretch marks on her stomach and on her breasts from her fist pregnancy and now she is pregnant again. Her self esteem has gone downhill too. I hope she can realize that she is beautiful inside and out. The body ia an amazing thing. Her stretch marks will fade and she will have those two amazing little babies. She will never be sorry that she got pregnant.

  20. Bryana Says:
    June 25th, 2010 at 8:55 am

    It took me a lot of time to come to terms with the body I was given after having babies. I didn’t decide to love it over night. It took months and years to *learn* to love my body. And now I love and appreciate it for what it has done, and why it now looks as it does.
    I only hope that every woman out there can learn to love her body as well. And don’t believe it will happen over night, because it doesn’t and can not happen that quickly.
    Your body is a beautiful thing no matter what anyone says or thinks. You live with it, which means what YOU THINK is what matters :)

  21. Lucian0 Says:
    July 19th, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    What a gorgeous milf! Congrats!

  22. Julie Says:
    August 20th, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    So true. I wish young men could look at this, and accept the truth. I wish media could be transparent. We women need to find the truth, so it will set us free. Your post rings of it. How touching and beautiful.

  23. Sarah Says:
    August 25th, 2010 at 8:27 am

    Thanks for a lovely post! I think I will print it outtoread daily as my mantra! I think you’ve worded it perfectly!

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