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It’s not easy the third time around, when your 38 years old! (Anonymous)

December 28, 2009

When I found out I was pregnant in May of 2008 I was thrilled! I was 37 years old, and by husband was 49. We both have children from previous marriages. I had a 15 year old son, and a 12 year old son, and my stepson was 9 years old.

We had just celebrated our 5 year anniversary in Las Vegas, and…Well, what happens in Vegas didnt stay there! We were not using any form of birth control, and hadnt for 5 1/2 years. We initially had wanted to try to have a baby, but after 3 years of it not happening, we assumed it wouldnt. I thought it was for the best anyway, because I have VERY difficult pregnancies, and felt it was a blessing I had been able to carry my two sons as long as I had. Both of my boys were born early, at 31, and 33 weeks. They were 4lbs 3 oz, and 4 lbs12 oz at birth.

I have what is called a dildelphys uterus, wich actually means I have two completely seperate uterus, and they are each half the size of a normal uterus, making me go into labor early. The first time I went into labor it was at 29 weeks, and I was in the hospital till my son was born 2 weeks later. With my second pregnancy I started having contractions once at 23 weeks, and then badly at 26 weeks, and had to be on bedrest and on a home monitor & trebutaline pump till 33 weeks, going in and out of the hospital several times for short stays, till they just couldnt stop the labor any longer.

Early on with this pregnancy I found out that this baby was in the “left” uterus, when both of my boys had been in the “right” uterus. This was bad, because the doctors beleive that with each pregnancy the uterus stretches a little more, and since this one was brand new, we didnt know if maybe it was smaller & I wouldnt be able to carry as long. Everything was unknown all over again.

I could tell early on, at about 16 weeks that things were going to be tough, because that is when I started noticing contractions. I was constantly drinking tons of water & laying down till it seemed things would settle down. My doctor was more optomistic then I, and I think he and my husband ( not having gone through this with me before) all thought I was over reacting or imagining things.

I found out in September 09 I was having a girl, and was THRILLED. it was the answer to my prayers! I had been told during my first pregnancy that my son was a girl ( Oops! YES…ultra sound techs make mistakes, and I had THREE ultra sounds in late pregnancy & no one caught the error!) so I had been so shocked when I had a boy, I had thought for years I would only have my two sons. I was also happy it was a girl because they always say girls do better when born prematurely, and I needed all the help we could get!

I only got to be overjoyed for a few weeks before the contractions kicked in pretty badly. At a routine exam at 21 weeks I told the doctor after an uneventful visit that before I left I wanted to hook up to their monitor & check for contractions because I kept feeling an odd tightening sensation in my abdomen . He allowed me to do so, and seemed like he was just doing it to give me peace of mind. After 15 minutes of monitoring & insane contractions showing, he looked pale & sent me immedialty to the hospital, where I was given shots of trebutaline and after about 8 hours was allowed to go home. The next day I got my trebutaline pump & home monitor again. I was on total bedrest from 21 weeks, and only allowed up for doctors visits, to shower & use the bathroom. It was tough going through that, but thankfully since my other kids were older they were somewhat able to help out, and we all managed ok. At 26 weeks I started bleeding quite badly & rushed to the hospital, to stay for 2 weeks while they tried to figure out what was going on. They guessed it was placenta abruption, though there were no signs of an abruption on the ultra sounds. I was so scared going back home that something terrible would happen & I woiuldnt get to the hospital on time, and after that I was not ever tempted to get up again or do anything but lay around. Needless to say, 2 1/2 months of inactivity turned my once nice muscle to mush, and I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy, much of it at the end because I was just laying around eating non-stop. I wanted to make my baby big & strong & ate tons of everything healthy, and quite a bit of some not so healthy stuff!

The day I turned 33 weeks I was celebrating because the next day would be the longest I had ever carried a pregnancy. When I went to the bathroom there was the teeniest amount of spotting, and I couldnt believe it could happen to the day it had before! My husband took me to the hospital to be monitored, but I wasnt having many contractions, so after a few hours they were ready to send me home. Suddenly my daughters heart took a dive, and several nurses rushed in & gave me oxygen. They thought maybe she had just been on the cord, but said I should spend the night so they could continue to monitor the baby to make sure it didnt happen again.

It was the longest day and night ever! My babies heart continued to slow to 50 beats a minute several times, causing chaos with the nurses making me roll back & forth & get up on my hands and knees trying to move the baby off of the cord. They made me use a bedpan because every time I got up to use the restroom when I came back & hooked up her heart beat was dropping. I had to be on oxygen all night. At midnight they came in & explained that if it happened one more time they were going to do a crash c-section & told me how they would put a tube down my throat to put me out & that the baby would be out within 2 minutes. I was so scared! My husband had gone home to the other kids, and the nurses promised if they took me to surgery they would call him immedialty.

Strangely enough once they said “if it happens one more time” I had no other issues. That is, till 8:00 am. My husband had just gotten there & was with me when it started. They didnt rush me to surgery like I expected, but rather called my doctor & kept trying to figure out what to do. It happend about 4 more times before the “big one”. The last time the babies heart didnt come back up, and about 7 nurses ran into the room. They were ripping my clothes off & putting a new gown on me, and tossing me from one gurney to another, and before I knew what was happening I was whisked down the hall. Thankfully they didnt have to put me out, so I was awake & aware the moment my daughter was born via c-section at 12:00 on 12-16-2008. She was beautiful & cried like a regular newborn at birth. She was 4 pounds 7 ounces, and so healthy all she needed was a few puffs of oxygen at birth. She was never placed in an incubator, and was in my room with me the last 2 days of my 4 day stay in the hospital. EVERYONE said she had to be more then 33 weeks along, but me and my doctor knew better, because he had done ultasounds at 5, 6 & 8 weeks, and said there is no way she was further along. He also said he had never seen a baby so premature do this well immedialty. She came home 5 days after she was born, and did not need an apnea monitor. It was amazing.

So….That’s the long story…it makes me so happy just thinking about it. What doesnt make me happy is the battle I have had since trying to loose that 40 pounds I put on!
I am 5’10 so I didnt look huge pregnant, and did not get any stretch marks. That is the positive. The negative is that my skin, being 38 years old is stretched out pretty bady & not returning to normal! It has taken so much longer to loose the weight this time too. I work out like a mad women, and do bootcamp classes 2 times a week, plus tons of cardio, and worked out for 3 1/2 months with a trainer as well. Sometimes at 3-4 months post partum I would get up at 2:30 an, feed the baby, put her back to bed & go to Golds gym & work out from 3:30 am to 5:00, then come home & go back to bed!

I couldnt stand the way I looked, and the feel of my skin sagging on my belly was awful. It didnt feel like I was inside my own body, but somebody elses nasty
stretched out fat body. It was tuff! I am still not sure why or how I went to the gym like that in the middle of the night! It all seemed like I was dreaming while I did it. Once I got down to 8 pounds to my prepregancy weight it was easier to live with myself, and I stopped THAT insanity…though I still work out 4-5 days a week.

I am 11 months post partum now, and still have 4 pounds to loose. The loose skin is still pretty bad on my abdomen, but I guess I can live with it. I went to a surgeon who told me he would suggest a tummy tuck, not just lipo, because of all of the extra skin I have. I have to believe that I am still slowly returning to normal, and a hip to hip scar would be so much more horrible then my c-section scar! I don’t mind it, because It reminds me of the moment my daughter was born.

So….I am 38 years old,
Mom of 3..ages 16, 14 & 11 months.
5′ 10 and 134 lbs.

I know it was all worth it, and certainly don’t mind working hard to “get my body back”, but I see now that what I was doing so soon after the birth of my baby was obsesive.

I just want to be happy with my daughter & not be so focused on something as shallow as what my belly will look like in a bikini…or trying to keep up with the other 20 somethings I know who have all bounced back faster & more easily.

The pictures I attached are of me at 30 weeks, before pregnancy, 32 weeks, and now, 11 months pp.

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31 Responses to “It’s not easy the third time around, when your 38 years old! (Anonymous)”

  1. Sarah Says:
    December 28th, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    Wow! You look amazing! All of your hard work truly paid off! :D

  2. Anonymous Says:
    December 28th, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    Your skin looks absolutely fabulous to be 11 months postpartum, let alone to have had 3 children! I don’t think you’ll need a tummy tuck at all, and I bet it will keep tightening up. I’m 20 years old, after only 1 baby, my stomach isn’t as tight as that. Although I’m about 148 pounds and 5’4. You look great! I hope I look like you at that age!

  3. sarah Says:
    December 28th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    uh wow, yeah i dont have anything to say, your my hero.

  4. deee Says:
    December 28th, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    Wow you look stunning, I too am five ten and about 125 pounds, I just had my second son 4 months ago and look similar to you, I am happy that my belly went flat again :)

    I dont think its shallow to want ot be fit and have aflat stomach birth…it is good to be fit after kids no one wants to stay big and being told its shallow and vain isnt exactly true, its about being fit and being able to live long enough to see your kids kids.

  5. B.C. Says:
    December 28th, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Okay, that doc. is looking to swindle you out of some serious money. Darlin’, you do not, by any stretch of the imagination, need a tummy-tuck. Maybe talk to a counselor about body image issues. You look like a Victoria Secret model not a tummy-tuck candidate.
    Congratulations on your baby girl! How wonderful that your family has received such a sweet blessing to complete your clan.

  6. kat Says:
    December 28th, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    you want a tummy tuck? whatever… I wish I looked like you prepregnancy. Im glad all your kids came out healthy!

  7. shai Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 9:19 am

    I think you look incredible! You’re story is wonderful and you are truly blessed with your 3 miracles!

  8. elissa Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 10:39 am

    Preterm labor sucks…I ate a lot as well to make my bab bigger because they told me she would be only 3 pounds had I had her at 32 weeks….I got shots for her lungs too and had to stay in the hospital. I checked myself in and out because I had horrible contractions so much. I think the nurses got annoyed and sent me home with special instructions made just for me. I told them my contractions WERE so bad that I couldn’t breathe and finally they sent me home bleeding and a few hours later my water broke in my sleep and I woke up feeling a wet gush and was so tired I just fell back asleep…I finally went in to my doctor at 12pm and they rushed me into the hospital because I was dialated, and my baby had not dropped at all…and my water had broke…But we didn’t know when, all I knew was it was still dark outside when it happened…So it had to have been for quite a few hours…I had an emergency c section also…The scar is just a reminder of the wonderful way they can save you and your babies life now…Your body looks incredible and it looks very tight….I didn’t get stretchmarks either and your skin looks just as tight as mine…I don’t think it’s saggy at all. Maybe you are dealing with a bit of a pooch? I LOVE mine…I use to look at those famous old Roman paintings with the women and their poofy tummies…The ones where they were nude and had a baby near them…I never realized what the pooch was from…Obviously that pooch was so important and so beautiful the artist decided to leave it in the painting…It’s womanly…LOVE IT! You’re perfect!

  9. bw Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Wow! you have got to be kidding me!amazing..

  10. Shealene Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Okay, WOW! You had 3 kids and that’s what you look like at 38 years old? I have one kid, I’m 23 and that’s what I look like now! You should proud, you look great!

  11. mrs. petunia Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    I’m not really sure where all this loose skin is…. Maybe the camera didn’t pick it up? Anyway, you look phenomenal! I’m sure that there are lots of twenty somethings without kids who wished that they had your figure! Anyway, good job mamma!

  12. Emma Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    you look AMAZING! I can’t believe you’re 38, I can’t believe you’ve had a baby any time recently.. I’m 4 months pp and cannot imagine looking nearly that good in 7 months.

  13. Natalie Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Omg, I think you look absolutely amazing, I can hardly believe you had any babies, much less three!!

  14. Nicole Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 2:59 am

    Congrats on your baby girl!

    I have to add though, I think you are imagining whatever loose skin it is you have because I see none. Really, you look better than I ever will again in my life and I am 23! You look great as is. Why in the world would you need a tummy tuck or even lipo? There is nothing to tuck or suck!!!

  15. Meghan Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    your body looks amazing!!!! i have three kids, too and am in my 30s… i’ve had such a hard time losing the last 10 pounds…. have you changed your diet and if so, what are you eating? how many calories a day? i’m 5’9″ and 140. I think it’s safe to say that you are well within the a normal range of weight and for your height, well, you are SKINNY!! :) congratulations!! you look fabulous and give lots of women hope that they can look hot after having 3 kids!

  16. maggie Says:
    December 31st, 2009 at 9:57 am

    you look great. congrats

  17. shannon Says:
    December 31st, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    If you think you need a tummy tuck you should really consider talking to a counselor…you look AMAZING. I am 23 and have 2 kids…I wish O looked like that…

  18. julie Says:
    January 1st, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    sometimes I think people are compliment hunting…..I was small at 33 weeks too it’s the end of pregnancy that really messes you up.

  19. joyce Says:
    January 1st, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    way to go!!

  20. Samantha Says:
    January 2nd, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    You look fabulous! Congrats on your little girl and what a blessing she is after trying for so long! :)
    You are great inspiration!

  21. Eringremlin Says:
    January 3rd, 2010 at 7:02 am

    Hah! Any doctor who recommends trimming you up is a quack! Good job and good genes, mama. Now take a deep breath and enjoy your loast baby.

  22. mamaoffour Says:
    January 5th, 2010 at 8:09 am

    You look lovely!! Please don’t get a tummy tuck – think of it as NEEDLESS major surgery. Enjoy your children!

  23. shannon Says:
    January 8th, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    I am 28 with 2 kids and look NOTHING like that and I am by no means overweight or in need of surgery…girl you are gorgeous. I thought that last pic was from a VS Catalogue…don’t give that doc a dime…

  24. Kassie Says:
    January 9th, 2010 at 4:19 am

    Amazing story. And you don’t need the surgery. Just enjoy the baby. I turned 40 this year and had my 5th child (his 1st) 3 months ago. All 5 were c-sections. Eventually, the skin does tone back up. Still working on mine.

  25. Tinia Says:
    January 10th, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    That was an exciting birthstory with such a happy ending. You look great. I also had my second son at 33 weeks (from PE – emergency C-section), but boys, as you mention, do much more poorly than girls that early and was in the NICU for over 2 weeks.
    Congrats on the weight loss and new baby girl!

  26. Cam Says:
    January 18th, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    You need a tummy tuck like a rhinoceros needs a tuba!

  27. Shelley Says:
    February 3rd, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    ********** UPDATE *******

    I had not looked at my posting till today, and was blown away by everyones sweet comments &compliments! (Though I was not compliment fishing as someone suggested) It feels so good to be able to have a place to share my story & see that so many people can relate, and hear their stories too!

    Since I posted this I have gotten back to my prepregnacy weight, and now agree it was silly of me to even look into atummy tuck. I do think I ws a little overwelmed after mybaby came, andthough not suffering fromfull blown PPD, there was some depression there that I have sinc gotten help with.

    Thank you all for the boost today! Good luck o all of us, and our sweet babies that were so worth whatever it was that we had to go through to get them here!

  28. Greg Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    You look great in these photos! No way do you look old enough to be mom to a 16 year old. My best to you and your family.

  29. Suzanne Says:
    May 18th, 2010 at 5:52 am

    which pic is the before and after!?!?! this site is meant to make me feel better about myself not worse! lol, you look AMAZING!!! your 38 and you’ve had 3 children.. i’m 23 i’ve had 2 and would do ANYTHING to get a body like yours :P

  30. Marz Says:
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    “get your body back?” you mean you haven’t?? lol … no seriously, you talk about a tummy tuck, but… what is there to tuck?
    I just wanted to say that your story is very inspiring. You did everything you could to protect your daughter until she was ready to be born. It’s very heartwarming :)

  31. Lindsay Says:
    March 18th, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    This is, clearly, a case of negative body imaging. It almost feels cruel to read you complain about “loose skin.”

    Your, nearly, 40-yr old body looks better than I did when I was in my 20s! :(

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