I use to be a model!!!
I just turned 22. This is me 7 months post postpartum. I use to be a size 2-4, I loved my body, I worked hard at it, and I was so happy with what it had become. During my pregnancy I gained 100lbs!!! I have since lost 30 and plan on losing the rest. The biggest problem for me is my boobs. They use to be a nice B now I wear a DDD and it’s way too small (it’s the biggest size at the store) I HATE their size, I feel like I am all boob. I use to be able to run around without a bra! I hate bras. I hate how they hang down and cover my waist. The second picture I am lifting my arm up and it puts my boob in the place where it should be, and you can see my waist. I REALLY hope they shrink once I am done breastfeeding, but I am letting my son self wean. I wonder, will they shrink as the number of feeds decreases? Or will nothing happen until I am not breastfeeding at all anymore? I am against birth control for religious reasons, I haven’t gotten my period back, but I will probably get pregnant as soon as I start ovulation again, this means I might not have time to get my body back in shape, and maybe my boobs will grow again from another pregnancy and never shrink!? (Yikes!). I hate also that I can’t wear the clothes I love. Like many of the girls on this site, my husband also cheats on me with online porn. I am hoping once I can look like that again the infidelity will stop. I hate too because he is jacking off to women just because of their bodies, their bodies are enough to be deserving of his sexual attention. It disappointment me that the standard for who deserves it fo him is as low as who has the right body, I would be less upset if he jacked off to pictures of a girl he knew because he liked her as a person. I don’t even want a perfect body, I just want a decent one, I would switch bodies with almost any girl who has posted on here in an instant (they all look better then mine) and would probably be happy. I have thought about a breast and body lift after being done losing weight but it’s against my values and I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed more kiddos. I also developed a crush on a guy (my relationship with my husband has been in the pits, because I don’t feel like a desirable woman anymore, just a mom, and a house cleaner) and he called me fat and stopped talking to me over it. I use to have men wrapped around my fingers, so this really hurt. I wanted to go back to school, and take birth control in order to escape being a mom and be more like a maiden and I was hoping that would make my husband more attracted to me, I am really so sad about this transition to being a mom, it makes me feel like I am now completely undesirable to anyone. But I know he will not stay with me, because our faith calls to us having more traditional role where I stay home and have lots of kids. And I am not willing to leave him for this because I want my child to have a Dad, that’s more important to me then myself. It’s also why I still breastfeed (my child is more important than me) even though I know stopping would probably help my boobs shrink back.