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From a teen mom (Anonymous)

April 19, 2007

I had a child when I was only a child. Try telling me that at the time (like so many people did) and I wouldn’t have listened. I was 16 years old when I gave birth to my baby girl. She was 6lbs and 4oz, 20inches long and perfect. I have only two pictures of my pregnancy and none of my birth. I think I was slightly embarrassed of my changing my body. I am so angry at myself now for not documenting that beautiful experience. I’m mad my little girl won’t be able to look back and see my naked belly, carrying her. I’m mad she won’t be able to see herself entering this world. I pray she doesn’t resent me for not documenting this time in photos, though I did write to her often. I hope she doesn’t think I was embarrassed of her, because of her- I would never be. I loved my pregnant body, though I felt to ashamed to allow the world to know I loved it. I remember when I had gotten that first positive test, I went into the bathroom and pushed my belly out to see what I ‘might’ look like. I gained almost sixty five pounds, but I never got a stretch mark on my belly. I have them lining my upper inner thighs all the way up to my vagina. I have one single stretch mark about 3/4 of an inch long smack dab in the middle of my pubic area. I’m glad I can hide these stretch marks, but I’m also thankful when I look down and see that solitary stretch mark it reminds me of the coming of age I experienced, some would say, much to soon. It reminds me that I can handle any dirty look and mean comment, and that gossip has no effect on me anymore. I can hold my head high, even when others are trying to force me to keep it down. The “god have mercy on that unborn child” I heard in the food court during my 27th week makes me smile now. The lord did have mercy on my child. He gave her to a herd of people who love her so much our hearts could explode. He gave her to a mother that could not possibly imagine loving her more. Though I threw myself into the whirl wind of motherhood that has brought me up, down and everywhere in between, at a very young age, I would never change it. My daughter was sent to me because I needed her, and because she needed me. She is my heart, and we all know that you can’t live without your heart.

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32 Responses to “From a teen mom (Anonymous)”

  1. Elizabeth Says:
    April 19th, 2007 at 8:22 pm

    You and your little girl are beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story.

  2. Raine Says:
    April 19th, 2007 at 10:46 pm

    You are a strong woman. My mother was also 16 when she gave birth to me. She is one of the strongest persons I know, and I just LOVED growing up with her. Your daughter is very fortunate indeed!

    P.S. I wrote to my daughter while pregnant too. I can’t wait to give my journal to her :)

  3. J.K. Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 5:06 am

    Your story made me cry!

  4. Ash Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 5:53 am

    I was a teen mother as well. your story is touching. Thank you for sharing. It’s always good to know we are not alone.

  5. Polly Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 6:10 am

    Your little girl is beautiful. You have every reason to feel proud! My dh and I too had our first baby, also a girl, when we were both 17. No one believed in us…we got the same stares and comments you mentioned…what really surprises me is that she’s nearly 15 and we still get comments. Not the ones like you heard in the food court (I just want to interject a friendly hug here…I know that feeling) but most people think she is my sister, not my daughter, and they cannot disguise the initial shock. Your story, your feelings about your expanding belly and the pride you feel about your sweet gorgeous girl, I could have written all of that. The journey we’ve taken isn’t easy, but we are so strong for having come through it and beat the statistics. Congratulations, Mama :) .

  6. Anna Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 6:32 am

    It’s very unfortunate that people look down on pregnant teens, however I hope that their distain is the fact that you didn’t have the opportunity to be young- be a teenager- not the fact that you became pregnant. Maybe that is wishful thinking. Your writing lets the world know that you embraced your darling little girl. And you’ve proven yourself to be a loving mother. That is all that your daughter will ever need- to know that she is loved.
    Good luck and congratulations. I don’t know how much “free time” you have- but you may consider counseling pregnant teens to help them see their lives in a new perspective- like you did. I’m proud to read your story. Thank you.

  7. Tree McCurdy Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 8:17 am

    Oh, my God, what a beautiful and inspiring post.

    I am thirty-four and still trying to conceive. One of the most popular books for wouldbe mothers my age is titled _I’m So Glad I Waited_ and every time I see it I get angry because of the implicit judgement against younger mothers, so many of whom are so driven, passionate, and committed, and wonderful, just like you.

  8. Amanda Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 8:43 am

    Wow. I loved reading this. I myself am a young mom (had my first at 18, my second at 21) , and know first hand the nasty and degrading comments that people feel they just “need” to tell you. Thank you so much for making me feel that I’m not the only one who doesn’t feel guilty about having my babies young. *hugs*

  9. Jo Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    The best headstart a Mum can give her child is her unconditional love and support. Age is not important – love is.

    My mum gave birth to me at 16 and my brother at 19 and she brought us up all on her own.

    We are well educated, loving, caring people, who had as good a start as any child could wish for. I can see your daughter has the same great start in life I had.

  10. cristin2324 Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 2:43 pm

    Thank you for writing about your experiences; it helps educate everyone who is interested in motherhood and visits this site.

    Your writing is very beautiful; thank you for sharing your thoughts and pictures. She’s a lucky little girl!

  11. BubbaMom Says:
    April 20th, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    You and your daughter are beautiful. What an inspiring story. I wish every teen mother could read it!

  12. Cat Says:
    April 21st, 2007 at 6:31 am

    Hi,

    Just had to add my voice to those saying thank you for such a wonderful post. It’s clear that you are a wonderful, strong mother and that your daughter is very much loved and happy.

    I was also born when my mother was a teenager. She was the best mom and role model anyone could ask for. I also loved having a young mom, too.

    Best wishes to both you and your daughter.

  13. Blaire Says:
    April 21st, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    What a great story, it made me cry, and brought me back to when I was pregnant in highschool with my twins. All of the horrible comments. You are such a strong person and a great rolemodel for other teen moms to be. You and your daughter are beautiful… thank you for sharing your story!

  14. Kylie Says:
    April 21st, 2007 at 8:08 pm

    I have never been more compelled to respond to a post. Honey, that is one of the most inspiring, uplifting and beautiful things I ever read. You are mature beyond your years and your beautiful little girl is blessed to have you as her mummy. I also had a pregancy when I was 18, I ended up miscarrying and then had to wait until I was 29 before conceiving again. I always think of what kind of mummy I would have been back then.
    Thanks for sharing your story!!

  15. Lori Says:
    April 23rd, 2007 at 8:53 am

    What a beautiful story! I am inspired by your words and your strenght. I am not a teen Mom, I’m a thiry something Mom, but your words will help me to be a better Mom. Thanks.

  16. Little Mommy Says:
    April 23rd, 2007 at 10:01 am

    Wow! Thank you for being a mommy who gives a good name to other young mommys. I was 17 when my daughter was born. I looked even younger and I remember those comments all too well. I just kept telling myself, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone…” My little girl is 3 now and a big sister. I love my babies so much. I also didn’t take many pictures of my pregnancy. I did with my second though. Keep holding your head high. One day people will tell us how “young we look” and we can just say thank you!

  17. Candice Says:
    May 2nd, 2007 at 3:09 am

    Your picture of your beautiful little girl and you in the pool is too cute! I can’t wait. Im 18 and 19 weeks pregnant and am really excited that i’ll be able to do so many fun things with my child.

  18. jaelan Says:
    May 14th, 2007 at 9:53 am

    you look like a healthy mom and your daughter 2!!!! keep takin care of your baby!!!!!! love ya

  19. stephanie Jimenez Says:
    May 16th, 2007 at 6:27 am

    hey. my name is stephany and i am a single mom i like ur story and it also made me cry but keep up the good work and keep you head up for enything.

    love,stephany

  20. Kat Says:
    May 29th, 2007 at 9:20 pm

    Wow! it’s great to hear we’re not alone. i think we should all stand up for ourselves collectively, because some of the stuff I hear and read makes me wonder whether people even think logically with what they say.
    I’m 19 and I was 17 when I had my son, and every word you said there just make me soo relate!

  21. emily Says:
    June 2nd, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Really well-written!

  22. Jess Says:
    June 4th, 2007 at 10:45 am

    I LOVED this because it made me cry! I had my son (he’s 2)at 23 but still got the rude comments from people (family included) about becoming a unwed mom. Those same comments make me smile now; when those same people fall over themselves to see my beautiful, wonderful little boy smile. Your story and I hope our comments will help mothers of all ages realize life at any age is a beautiful thing. My mom had me at 16 and she is still the most amazing woman I know. I can tell from the love in your words you will be amazing for her, too. And it’s not too late to share your journey…write a journal to her now with your words of wisdom to give to her at 16.

  23. Charlene Says:
    June 27th, 2007 at 2:51 am

    Aww your post was touching
    im also a teen mum.
    i was 15 when i fell pregnant with my daughter and 16 a few days before i had her, shes 14months old now,
    however im also currently 38weeks pregnant with a boy, not planned but i dont regret, ims ure its going to be alot harder with two children under 2.
    me and my fiance are stil togetehr 4years on and hes the best daddy, we live together and he part owns a company..its nto all abd
    if any other young mums wants to contact me they can on
    chardonnay-mc@hotmail.com

  24. tess Says:
    July 24th, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    My son was born a week before my 18th birthday. I remember the dirty looks and comments very well. I remember people asking me if my son was my little brother after I had him. I named him Inteus. It means “unashamed” because no matter what I went through to have him, I would never be ashamed of him, and he should never be ashamed of where he came from.

    I know exactly what you mean about god’s mercy. I cannot imagine living without Inteus.

  25. Shelby Says:
    July 28th, 2007 at 10:15 am

    Your post has me in chills. You are a truly blessed, both of you.

    God Bless you.

  26. megan Says:
    August 10th, 2007 at 1:20 pm

    well, i know exactly how you felt.
    I feel the same way.
    I’m 15 going on 16 and 31 weeks pregnant. My baby girl is due a week after my 16th birthday.
    and i know how it feels to have peopl look at you, as though your in the wrong.
    But i don’t care, i love her, and my boyfriend more than anything.
    I wouldn’t change anything for the world ?

  27. Megan Says:
    August 10th, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    **ps
    i’m very proud of you for doing what you did and holding your head up high when people said rude things.
    That’s the reason why i could not live without my boyfriend, my baby’s daddy.
    If it weren’t for him, i’m sure everytime i went to the store or the mall, i would be starting fights with people for staring at me.
    I know that once i’m not pregnant, i’m going to look back on all the times people would stare and think “who cares what they think’
    but for now, it really is hard to deal with since i am pregnant, and i feel like a foreign species being put under a microscope for inspection ALL THE TIME.
    i’m proud of you, and everyone else who has commented on here about what its like to be a teen mom, you make me feel like i’m not the only one who feels pressure from people staring and giving rude comments.
    thank you so much.

  28. PrOud MommY Says:
    October 3rd, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    Your story is soo much like mine.. i had my baby girl when i was 18..and all that the other teens around me would do is talk the regular talk…( u kno…) u seem to be a really stong woman…what more can we do> we have to be strong for ourselves and our kids as teens and prove everyone wrong..much love take care ..

  29. Lindsey Says:
    December 14th, 2007 at 11:46 am

    I had my son when I was 17, and I remember the comments, stares, all that… I never knew people could be so rude. I love your story. It is amazing. My son is 16 months now, and I can not imagine life without him. He has made me a better person. Even now though, When I go out with my son (I’m 19 now) we still get looks and comments. It breaks my heart sometimes, and I hope they stop doing that before he is old enough to notice it too. I love my son, he is loved by so many people. I just wish others didn’t pass judgment like they do.

  30. Bianca Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 9:30 am

    you are an angel :)
    i was also 16
    and had comments made!
    i was mad,so angry
    but all the comments in the world couldn’t have changed my mind about my little miracle.
    i am now only 18 but have created
    a wonderful little family
    myself ,fiance and bub
    and i feel so sorry for all the teens out there.
    its hard enough alone
    the shock and stress of it
    all,not needing judgment to be made by complete strangers,
    how dare any 1 say we are unworthy!!!!!!!!
    what does it mean? that we shouldn’t give them life?
    thank you for your touching story its 1 i relate to well
    *B

  31. Jennifer Henderson Says:
    March 15th, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    I want to start out by saying that you and your daughter look very happy. I am 16 and 4 weeks pregnent. When i told my mom she called the copos so i have no suppor from her but i do have my very soon to do husband.We re very happy and i cant wait for my belly to get big. Your story was very touching and gives me stranth. i hope in the future that other people look at teen pregnacy diffently. Thank you for sharing that wonderful story.
    Jennifer

  32. daisy Says:
    May 11th, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    you and your baby look beautiful

    I related so much to your story. I’m 20 and I still hear all kind of comments from people, specially because I still look like I’m 18 (I had my daughter when I was 16).

    I wish you all the best in your life. You’re right, they are our hearts.

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