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From a good-looking girl to a zebra mom. (Anonymous)

March 15, 2013

Hello ladies! First of all, my first language in not English so if I write something wrong please forgive me :)
I am 22 years old, got pregnant when I was 21. All in my life I was slim and good looking (thats what others said) 50kg, 162cm with long dark hair.

By the time I was 9 months pregnant I was 69kg… +19kg!!!
My pregnancy started with horrible morning sickness but other than that I was fine.
Except my hair… my hair started to dry out and fall out.
People told me it happens sometimes because baby takes everything of me.
I was a little bit sad because of my hair but I still didnt know thats just the last thing I have to worry about.
We found out we are having a baby girl , we were so excited and happy. I stopped working when I was 8 months pregnant.
My belly was beautiful and the skin was smooth and perfect even when I was 35 weeks…
People told me Im so lucky , I havent got any strech marks at all…
I always did care about my skin a lot, when I found out Im pregnant, I bought a bottle of strech mark oil from Boots straight away…
and I used it every single day. When I passed 35 weeks, my belly started to itch more and more every day.
One day I woke up with a few red and painful lines on my tummy.
And they just got bigger and bigger all around my hips, boobs, legs.
By the time I was 9 months pregnant, I couldnt even wear any top because my skin was so painful and itchy, it was horrible…
I gave a natural birth at week 41 to our gorgeous baby girl in the beggining of December 2012
She was 3.5kg and 51cm. We came home and the new life is started… :)
Everything was fine and my partner was so happy and proud… happy happy happy end…?
Not really…. I gave birth 3 months ago and I ve gone back from 69kg to 61 in december.. and I just put 4kg back on in the past 2 months so Im 65 again…
My skin just totally demaged, reminds me to a Zebra…My hair is still not growing and dry like a brush…. it puts me down so much I dont know how to accept myself. I keep saying this to people around me
and they all trying to cheer me up but thats never gonna help, I would do anything to get my skin back. I feel terrible , I would cry every single day If I would be on my own.
Im never gonna be confident and never gonna like the girl in the mirror again. It effects my love life as well because Im just hiding myselft constantly.
Im using BIO-OIL from the day I gave birth,dont think its gonna make a big difference but anyway… at least something…

By the way, I just want to say thank you for people who read my story and I wish all the best for all of you!
I hope we all gonna find the way to love ourself again.

Number of pregnancies and births: First Pregnancy

pre-pregnancy photo
photo-week 24.
photo-week 30.
photo- week 34.
photo-week 35.
photo-week 39.
and the last 3 photos are just now, 3 moths after the birth.

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12 Responses to “From a good-looking girl to a zebra mom. (Anonymous)”

  1. Ruby Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 9:33 am

    You’re not a zebra… you’re a TIGER! Rawr!

  2. Mollie Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Wow, I think I have the same pink underwear! lol.
    My pregnancy was very similar – I didn’t get any stretch marks until the very end, and then I started losing my hair, too!
    Stretch marks can be really scary-looking when they’re new and fresh, but over time they will fade and become light and almost silvery on your skin. Everything I have read has indicated that stretch marks happen from the inside out, so any kind of topical creams or moisturizers don’t really do a whole lot to prevent or treat them – topically applying Vitamin E seems to be the best suggestion if you do want to use a cream or oil. Otherwise, eating healthy and drinking lots of water is best to help your body repair. That being said, there aren’t any non-surgical ways to eliminate stretch marks (and from what I have read, the surgical ways are still experimental, though I could be wrong).
    My husband was deployed with the military while I was pregnant and when I gave birth. We joke that we both earned ribbons during his deployment: he wears his on his uniform, and I wear mine on my tummy. It has been 2 years, and mine have faded a lot – to the point that I don’t really notice them any more.
    As for hair loss, I would first suggest going to a doctor and having your thyroid checked. From what I have read, thyroid problems are very common after and during pregnancy. My hair loss was the result of the fluctuating hormone levels in my body after pregnancy. I ended up with two really thin patches of hair right at my temples. Around 6 months postpartum, my hair started growing back and I still have a few spots of little “baby hairs”, but it’s pack to it’s pre-pregnancy thickness. Also, if you are using any kind of birth control, that may factor into the hair loss.
    My best suggestion is to talk to your doctors, and be patient. Your body did a lot of work and went through a lot of changes – it’s gonna take time to heal. I remember my 3 month postpartum check-up with my GYN – my husband and I were really wanting to get back to sex like normal but it was still painful for me. My nurse practitioner chuckled sweetly at me and said, “Honey, it takes time. You are still healing! Go easy on yourself.”
    I would also like to suggest that you talk to your doctor about postpartum depression, too, if you feel compelled to stay in and cry all the time. Having a baby sure does a number on us!
    Your body is really beautiful, stretch marks and all. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Your beauty is in WHO you are, NOT what you look like.

  3. ItsMe Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Mollie: Thank you for your comment! Made me feel a little better now!

    Ruby: Just to let you know , telling me Im a tiger, didnt help but thank you so much. You are a very kind person, I wish the same situation for you…

  4. anonymous Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    I second everything that Mollie has said. She’s definitely right about the thyroid and hair loss, turns out that I needed to be on synthroid during pregnancy because the first symptom I noticed was hair loss. Also, you are so freshly post partum. Your body is going to change a lot more in the coming year and it will change even more with diet and exercise. Exercising might be a really big self esteem booster for you because it does help your mood. I think you look beautiful, all of you looks beautiful. Stretch marks and extra weight don’t make you who you are. I know it is still hard to look past those things but you will get used to it in time. If you really are dissatisfied with your stretch marks (like me) I would suggest using TRILASTIN SR. It has worked great for me so far. I hope you start feeling better soon. You’re beautiful and your pregnancy pictures are some of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.

  5. Louellen Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    hey girl! … er…. I mean… SEXY BEAST OF A TIGER!!!

    For hair care tips, try out The Long Hair Community forum: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/

    Since going there, I have discovered new ways to take care of my hair, and my hair is so shiny and beautiful. I am 7 months postpartum, and my hair is still falling out, but its in good condition. I hope this helps :)

  6. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    Hey, Anon, I wanted to let you know what Ruby (and Louellen) meant. Maybe it’s a cultural difference? She was calling you sexy and fierce. It was a reference to your inner self as well as your beauty – not to your stretch marks. Does that make sense? I hope it helps you feel better!

  7. momof4boys Says:
    March 15th, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    You are beautiful! Those stretch marks are very mild compared to a lot of women and will fade/improve with more time and a good scar oil.

  8. ItsMe Says:
    March 20th, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    Thanks girls and Im sorry for the misunderstanding about the tiger thing.
    Im now really trying to get rid of the extra kilos, going to the gym every day. And we gonna save up for laser treatment for my stretch marks. So ,I hope I will be able to love my body again!

  9. SQ Says:
    March 21st, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    First of all, your English is perfect, that’s the last thing you should be worried about. Second of all, I’m sure they were trying to be helpful, but comments like “you’ll get used to it” are NOT helpful. You might have, and good for you, but telling her she’ll get used to it is basically taking her there’s something wrong with the way she feels now and after a while she will have the RIGHT feelings about it. Maybe she doesn’t WANT to get used to it! Nothing is more annoying than somebody telling you you’ll get used to something you KNOW you never, ever will.

    Here’s the good thing sweetheart, you DON’T have to get used to it because you don’t have to stay like that! There are several solutions. First is that the stretch marks will change and shrink on their own. They won’t stay that angry purple red color, they will shrink to thin lines a little bit lighter than the rest of your skin.You can get them tattooed to match the rest of your skin if the lines bother you. Your stomach will shrink on its own, but if it doesn’t go back all the way then you can have a tummy tuck and be good as new. Do NOT listen to anyone who tells you there is ANYTHING you can put on top of the skin to affect stretch marks because you will be disappointed when it doesn’t work. Stretch marks are in the very deepest layers of the skin where topical things can have no effect. Please don’t tell me how some oil or cream worked for you, it’s nonsense and correlation not causation. If there was something you could rub on your skin to make stretch marks go away or prevent them then NOBODY WOULD HAVE STRETCH MARKS. The one and only thing you can put on your skin that has any chance of affecting them is prescription retin-a, and you need to do it when they are still fresh and red/ purrple if it is going to have a chance to affect the marks. Laser can also help.

    Now, as for the hair: there is ONE thing you can apply that will stimulate hair growth and it is…… monistat! there are several theories as to why this world but nobody is quite sure. Pretty much any long hair forum is going to be talking about it.

    The point is, you can get your body and hair back and you DON’T have to get used to it the way it is now! What is important right now is being a happy healthy mother for your baby, it is not good for baby when the mother is depressed and sad. So just tell yourself that this body is only temporary, and put worrying about it out of your mind because you know it’s not going to stay this way.

    And when your boyfriend tells you you are beautiful, don’t say “no I’m not,” just smile because you know he lives you no matter what :)

  10. ItsMe Says:
    March 25th, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    aww SQ , thank you so much, honestly your comment was the best cheer up I’ve got so far!
    That is the reason why I shared my photos and story here, to got comments like yours! x

  11. Marielys Says:
    June 7th, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Sweety it looks like you have whats calledDiastis Recti or abdominal seperation, look it up get the facts DONT do crunches, sit ups, or any abdominal workouts bc it will your belly buldge out much more. I have it as well it happens to women who carry really big babies, twins, or like my case back to back pregnancies. there is a program you can do to help your belly but i tried it and honestly id rather do the tummy tuck than live with diastisis my whole life. My stomach grows throughout the day as i eat i hate it. I will b getting a tummy tuck and muscle repair next year. Please look into it and remember you are not alone.

  12. Erin Says:
    December 26th, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Oh Girl. I feel your pain. I haven’t had the stretch marks but I have lost about 60 percent of my hair postpartum and now that I’ve ovulated for the first time since the birth (8 months ago), I’m dealing with acne on my face, neck and chest. The thing I can tell you about stretch marks is that, while they may never go away, they do fade a lot. And I remember seeing women at the pool with stretch marks being so envious that they had a baby. Plus I think they are sexy. Sounds weird coming from a girl but I’m serious. Hopefully we all get through this postpartum Hell. His to you!

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