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Everyone Tells Me I Look Fine… NOT (Christina)

May 18, 2012

Age:23
Pregnancies/Births: 1 pregnancy 1 birth
Childs Age: 14 months

Ok so I was 196lbs in March of 2010. I went on weight watchers and got down to 160lbs. June 8th,2010 I stopped weight watchers and my doctor said I had gotten pregnant that first week of June. So long story short, nine months later, at 6:15 pm I delivered my first born. I delivered at 196. How ironic! Anywho, I am now 160 lbs again but I dont feel the same. My husband says that I look great. I dont think so.

I began purging around 17. Stopped for a couple years and then picked up around 6 months PP to try to drop a few extra pounds. I just cant get there. So its off and on now.

Before my son, I had a navel piercing. After I gave birth it stretched out and now looks kind of funny. My breasts sag and I really dont like that. As far as stretchmarks, I got a few more than I already had on my sides, and my stomach ones are centralized around my navel. So although I didnt make out too bad, Im still not 100% comfortable in my “new” skin. Everyone tells me that “I’m a tiger (a mother) that has earned her stripes”. Its an empowering quote but then I look in the mirror. I want to lose 10-15 more pounds.

I would ultimately like to have another kid but when I look in the mirror I am not sure. I am afraid of the effects it will have on my body. Hubby says he loved me at 196, and loves me at 160. But I dont love myself enough yet. I feel like sometimes I am all over the place with my emotions. Just hope I can get a grip. Im tired of everyone telling me that I am trying to get to small. I know where I want to be, and if I cant get there then I will never be happy. The pics are at 39 weeks and now.

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10 Responses to “Everyone Tells Me I Look Fine… NOT (Christina)”

  1. Corinne Says:
    May 18th, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    You do look good!

  2. proud mother of 4 Says:
    May 18th, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    you look great!!!! i wish my stomach looked like yours!!! keep up the good work!!! oh by the way…our breast look alike, lol. check my pics under my name =)

  3. Ta-Earia Says:
    May 19th, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    Actually you look very good! And I got pregnant with my daughter and if it wasnt for her I think i actually wouldnt have a better body! youd be surprised how each child can affect you

  4. momof5 Says:
    May 20th, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Your body changed when you gave birth to a baby. Enjoy what you have accomplished. I am impressed that you are prepregnancy weight! That is awesome. Yeah, my body is differnt but I do love the tiger stripes analogy.

    I also say that the stretch marks are my roadmap of love. And I have A LOT of love!

  5. amber H Says:
    May 21st, 2012 at 7:05 am

    you look amazing- work out and it will get even better. I WISH my tummy looked like yours!!

    blessed and tortured < my posts

  6. Alesha J Says:
    May 21st, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I also think you look good at 160, but I think you need to know that I understand how you feel. I have a similar story. I was 190ish at delivery and 2.5 years later I am stuck at 168. I don’t want to weigh 168. I don’t want to weigh 160. I want to weigh 150 or even better….145!! I hate it when my husband tells me I look “fine”, because I know I don’t. After cutting carbs (*MISERABLE*) and losing 20 lbs. I have added 30 minutes of cardio 3 times a week. I have yet to see results, but I am hopeful. I want so badly to love my body but I feel so huge still. I am stretched and I am ok with sagging. I want to be what I want to be whether I look good to you or not. You are inspiring to me. Your story matters to me…. because it’s my story too.

  7. tootieflootie Says:
    May 21st, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    I was pushing 200 lb with the birth of my first. Lots of water weight. I got down to about 165 and then started weight watchers. Turns out I actually WAS eating too much. I’m a runner, so I was very disappointed that I felt tired all of the time and the running was doing nothing to keep off the weight! A friend of mine suggested weight lifting. So, I do that at least 2 times a week, and run at least two other times during the week. I also take vitamins and supplement that with 50mcg of zinc and fish oil. I’m down to 150. At 9 months post-partum. Not where I want to be, but for the first time since my pregnancy I feel like I have some control. This is hard, and it takes forever, and at least we have beautiful babies to show for it! I’m a working mother, and sometimes when I exercise I am TOTALLY exhausted, but I usually feel better after. Just keep it up! You DO look great! Birth is hard on our bodies, but don’t listen to folks who tell you that “you’ll always be heavier”, or “hurry up and get it off before it’s too late”! That’s totally wrong. Just take your time, and it will happen.

  8. Alyson C Says:
    May 27th, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I agree 100% with tootieflootie :) I recently lost 20 lbs (I was 10 lbs to my goal weight), my kids are 8 and 10, I waited that long to do something about it! Well needless to say my stomach almost got 100% back to normal. I was exercising 6 days a weeks and working REALLY hard on eating right. I never knew how important it was to track my calories. Found out I was only getting probably half the amount that I needed, resulting in me being tired all the time. And not eating enough on a regular basis can be just as bad as over eating. Anyway, after losing 20 lbs, I found out I was pregnant again. I was angry and terrified at first, after all the work I had done it was going to be ruined all over again. But I got rid of that though right away. What I realized was, I do have some control over the situation. I can choose to continue to eat healthy, educate myself on what I should and shouldn’t be doing, exercise refularly and stay healthy throughout and not have such a hard time after this pregnancy. I am happy that my body got healthy before being gifted with another child, my incubator :) is in great form to grow a healthy baby and that’s a great gift to give them. Don’t let it hold you back, just keep working on being healthy and you will be just fine ;)

  9. Stacie Says:
    May 27th, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    I’m with you girl… if someone told me that my stretchmarks make me a tiger – “a woman whose earned her stripes” – I would probably just stare at them, one eyebrow up, one eyebrow down … and wait for them to walk away and consider never saying that to anyone else – ever again. What a lame thing to say … like that statement is somehow going to help?

    “I’m a tiger!! Rooooaaaarrrrrr!” Please…

    If that’s true does that also mean that I have sharp fangs, a long tail and like to pee standing up? LOL!

    Is that anything like being a Cougar? Either way … quite insulting actually.

    Sounds more like nervous, small talk to me. A short cut to thinking. Along with the other trite comments that you mention people tend to say … some people really just need to consider remaining silent. Lol.

    At any rate – you look awesome! You really do! You’ll settle into yourself eventually. The older you get, the easier it gets to settle into yourself. In the mean time focus outwards on those you love. :)

  10. Chila Says:
    July 13th, 2012 at 5:04 am

    Dear Christina,You look nice,dont worry no one is perfect.I have 2 children,I delivered my 1. at age 23,second 1.9 years later.I had 15kg (33.069 lbs) more than I had before preganancy-both time.The first time it took me a year to get back to shape,my boobs are like a german pancake,floppy,sagi,grose and smaaaaaal.I dont even have to wear a bra.The second time it took me a 1,5 year to get back to shape.I have no strech marks on my belly,but i have them on my boobs and sides,vagina,knees and legs.I hated my body,i really did.I knew that if I not get back to the same weight i will go crazy.So,I cut a deal with my self,i began to eat less,now i eat the half portion of that i used to,and i began to work out at home.The result is that i am happy,fit and even if im not proud of my body,and i know im far from perfect i LOVE it.So,if You want to get rid of all that fat You talk about,start working out,yoga,insanity,zumba,what ever you like,you have tons of videos online and i guarante you that you will be satisfied in 6 months at least.Im wishing you to be happy with yourself,and to have a new baby as well. Best regards from Serbia. :)

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