3 Pregnancies and 3 Csections
Ages of Children: 7, 4, and almost 3 years.
I call my story “Bittersweet” because my journey has often felt that way. I’ve struggled with my weight
all my life. I was very active when I was younger and didn’t really gain a lot until college and marriage.
I stayed in size 10s and 12s. At my heaviest I was 250 and wore size 18s. I’ve been on every diet.
Now I’m 31 years old, I weigh 139 pounds, I am 5’7 1/2″, and I wear clothes in sizes 6, 7, and 8.
Here’s what happened:
I’ve had 3 pregnancies where I gained too much weight, and I’ve had 3 csections- the first of which being a perfect scar on the bikini line by an amazing doctor, the second and third cuts were made above the bikini line by not so great doctors causing me to have horrible scars and a lopsided belly.
After my third baby, I decided to get in shape the healthy way. I eat great, strength train, and do cardio.
Long story short, I lost 100 pounds and am now at a weight and size that is smaller than the day I got
married. I finally could wear a bikini, but do you think I would- Hell no.
I’m about at the finish line with my weight loss journey. There’s still 5-10 pounds I’d like to shed.
And what has happened- no I didn’t win a prize- instead, my boobs have completely deflated- they are
not perky and full like when I weighed 160 pounds and higher, my entire body is covered in stretchmarks.
It seems as though new ones appear daily on my boobs, my sides, my butt, and now down my thighs and
legs (which used to be my best feature).
I’m saddened by all of this. I don’t feel sexy at all. I cannot afford any kind of plastic surgery or special
lotions, skin treatments. I often want to gain the weight back- not all of it but enough to get my boobs back
and not be so saggy.
I appreciate everyone who reads this. It saddens me especially because it seems as though I cannot
watch a movie without seeing a beautiful naked woman on it. Men see gorgeous naked women all the time
without even having to try. How can a man appreciate a body like this. My husband says he likes my
body and likes it smaller now, but come on!!! I’m not buying it. I feel disgusting. It’s bittersweet to lose
weight and not love my new body. I hate it worse than when I was overweight.