Number of pregnancies/births: 1/1
Age of children: 3 week old baby boy
I joined the Navy when I was 18. Went to bootcamp in Great Lakes Illinois two weeks after I graduated from High School on July 3, 2007 and graduated August 31, 2007. I ended up being stationed at NAS Oceana in Virginia Beach Va, across the country from my family in California. I met my amazing boyfriend in the Navy and found out we were expecting a baby November 2009. I was terrified and i felt so alone being so far from home.
I weighed around 150 when I met my boyfriend and was comfortable with my weight. I had gained 20 lbs by the time I found out I was pregnant. I weighed 206 just before I gave birth and I hated the way my body looked. I’ve never had a flat stomach and a perfect body but I’ve always been so comfortable with my body until I got pregnant. The stretch marks I could handle. I’ve had them before and they faded with time until they were almost invisible. It was the darkening of my nipples and arreola that horrified me. They used to be a pretty pink and now they are a dark brown. I now have a dark line from my belly button down to my pubic bone. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore.
I have 6 months to get back in shape for the Navy. I have to get down to 145 or 32% body fat. I weigh 178 and am nowhere near being 32% body fat. I have more pressure to get back into shape from both the Navy and my boyfriend. I feel useless in my own body. I can’t work out until I hit 6 weeks PP. That’s when I go back to work and am cleared to start working out again.
On top of everything I’m trying to heal physically and emotionally from my c section. I feel like a failure as a mother for not being able to have a normal vaginal birth. I feel like I have been robbed of experiencing my baby’s birth.
Hopefully one day I recover from the experience and be able to lose the weight and get back into shape. As for my flabby stomach and saggy uneven breasts, I plan on having plastic surgery in a year when I transfer to another command. I’ve never felt confident enough to wear a bikini and I’d like to wear one someday. My breasts have never been perky and they’ve always been pancake like and my nipples always pointed down. I love my baby but not the body that came with him. He is so worth it though.
1st pic: Pre pregnancy
2nd pic: 40 weeks pregnant
3rd pic: 3 weeks PP belly
4th pic: uneven saggy breasts
5th pic: side view
6th pic: c section scar
7th pic Anthony Gabriel
8th pic: Anthony and Daddy(I’m jealous of his abs lol)
9th pic: Anthony and mommy