Month: March 2009

No Longer a Size 0 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 13 Comments

I’m a 17 year old mother and have barely came to terms with my new body. Before becoming pregnant I was a size 0 and I weighed only 100lbs It has been 9 months after having my daughter and it has been a very depressing long road. I have done many things to help me loose weight, although I have lost some I’m still unsatisfied with my body. I always had been known as the skinny girl with big boobs. I automatically thought I would go back to my size after having my baby. Little did i know I was wrong. Upon having my daughter I gained nearly 50 lbs!Now, I weigh about 130 and although I’m still unhappy with my body i have come to terms with the fact that I will no longer be able to wear a size 0 pair of jeans. I’m only 17 years old and I have stretch marks that cover my stomach. I will no longer be able to wear shirts that show my stomach or a bikini maybe in a couple of years once they fade a little bit. I’m determined to loose that extra weight and get my stomach back to being flat and not flabby. This website helped me realize that I’m not the only person out there going through this.

Still Working to Accept My Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

I had my daughter when I was 19 years old. She just turned three last week and I am still struggling to lose the weight I gained from my pregnancy. I had gestational diabetes and I gained nearly 75lbs during my pregnancy. I have no real motivation to lose the weight mostly because I’m scared of how my body will look when I do and partially because my husband says he loves me just the way I am. This site has helped me to realize that if I want to lose the baby fat I need to learn to see the beauty in myself first. The before picture of my stomach was taken my freshman year of college(about 6 months before I got pregnant). At the time I weighed 130lbs. Currently, I’m 22 and I weigh 205lbs. After taking these pictures I think that I’ve realized I don’t look as bad as I thought I did. I really love this site. It’s a good feeling to realize that there’s other people out there like you.

Happy women are willing to show the truth (Britney)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

I got pregnant at a young age so already, at 16 besides the fact of being over whelmed about the pregnancy I got stretch marks about a week before I was to turn 9 months. So devastating I though. I was not prepared because I felt as if I’d done everything right, coco butter, lotions, exercise. I am 5’8″ at the time of delivery I weighed 149 pounds ,which is well with in my bmi. Now I am 23 and married and my husband thinks that my stomach is sexy, but that meant nothing until I though I was. And now I can truly say that I do.

Age: I am 23 years old

Number of pregnancies: I have had 2 pregnancies but only 1 birth

Age of child: my son is 6 years old

The aftermath of sexual violence + the beginning of healing (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions, Update 21 Comments

As a young teen, just as my body – to my great excitement – was starting to change, I was gang raped. The excitement of becoming a woman was taken away from me and the relationship I had with my body turned from love to pure hatred. They say that the body is a temple and my temple had been invaded, scorned, hurt and permanently destroyed. I was never fat, but started perceiving my wide hips and full buttocks as being fat and I developed a serious complex. Not even in front of my husband did I feel comfortable and I was convinced that he secretly thought I was unattractive and even disgusting.

When I got pregnant, I started worrying about my weight gain and how my body would change. What if I couldn’t lose the excess weight after giving birth? What if I got stretch marks? What if my husband would never want to make love to me again? I did like my pregnant belly, though, and was able to see the beauty in it. It was the time after the delivery that I was worried about.

Then I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. A few days later I stood in the shower and looked at my body in the mirror for the first time. My belly was still round as if I were four months pregnant and my whole body looked full and soft and feminine. “It’s beautiful”, I thought to my surprise. The femininity that I had previously regarded as unattractive and “fat” now looked pretty and inviting. For all these years I had disrespected my body, I had consciously hurt myself in order to punish it for having been raped, for simply having been there, for not having been able to escape. Now I was in awe: it had carried my son for nine months, had put up with the strain of being pregnant, it had miraculously given birth to a perfect baby and was now producing the nourishment to sustain him. But it wasn’t just due to the respect that I made peace with my body. I truly find it beautiful. And I finally love being a woman!

“Anonymous”, 29 years old

Updated here.

Ads on the home page

Bonnie (SOAM) News 1 Comment

I realize that a lot of the ads on the home page are rather the opposite message from what I am hoping to convey here at The Shape of a Mother and I apologize for that. I do not endorse any of those ads. Unfortunately, I cannot filter ads by keyword, merely by blocking each individual website – and there is never a shortage for stretchmark cream companies et cetera.

That said, I am hoping to find a way to solve this problem within the next few weeks. Thank you for your patience while this is sorted out.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

14 months pp, still struggling with image, but working to make it better! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

I found out I was pregnant when I was 17. I’d say I was fairly nervous, but also very excited. I’ve had lots of support from family and friends which made my pregnancy almost easy. Other than a few minor things, I can honestly say that I absolutely loved it. I’ve always been self-conscious, but despite the weight gain and the stretch marks, I actually felt really good about myself throughout all 9 months. I’m 5’6, and when I’m at my healthiest/fittest, I weigh around 125 lbs. Before I got pregnant, I gained a bit of weight (thanks, junk food!) but because I had pretty bad morning sickness for the first 5 months, I ended up losing 15 lbs in the first 4 months. I’d say I was fairly small up until the last 2 months when I just exploded! I had a few stretch marks on my sides and my back, but I didn’t get any on my stomach until 2 weeks before my daughter was born. 2 weeks! It was the day after Christmas dinner… I woke up and BAM! they were there. I cried. Oh well.
Vivian was born on January 7, 2009 – her due date. I weighed 190 lbs before she was born. Pretty crazy, huh? I hovered at 160 lbs for about 7 months after she was born, and because I was stupid and thought I could lose the weight without putting much work into it,so I didn’t actually do anything about it until 10 months pp. I was around 145-ish then. I have been going to the gym somewhat regularly since then, although I have recently put it on hiatus while stressing about college and how I’m going to afford it. I am really into the idea of sculpting my body once I get a real chance to do so, so I will probably update with pictures of any kind of progress later.
As for right now… I’m 19, and I weigh around 135 lbs. Not too bad, I guess,but I do realize that my stomach will probably never look the same – you know, with the silvery lines crawling up my belly and sides. And Vivian… well, she is the best little munchkin anybody could ever ask for. She’s one year and two months right now. I love her too much. We’re “homies” as I like to tell people. I go everywhere with her (except work, of course!) and I just love spending time with her. She’s a very happy baby made of smiles, giggles, and pure cuteness.

Here are a few pictures I took today of how I look. I did not look like that a year ago! I was much softer, wider, more out of proportion.You can’t see the stretch marks very well, but trust me, they sure as hell are there! There should be 2 mirror pics, one close of of my stomach, and the last two of the little angel I got out of it!


After 10 Years I’m Still Not Comfortable (Kay)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I’m 30 years old and had my son when I was 20. I was tiny before I was pregnant (5’2″ and 105lbs) and my belly was pretty small up until I was 7 months pregnant, then I don’t know what happened…maybe the baby turned? My belly POPPED out and I developed horrible stretch marks on the stomach and breasts. I absolutely hated my body and went to a plastic surgeon to see about getting a tummy tuck and breast lift but both he and my family encouraged me to wait because I was so young and will get marks again if I got pregnant…well, 10 years later and still no husband or baby! I feel like I missed out on my 20’s because I never got to wear a bikini or a cute belly baring top or to pierce my navel. I am glad I found this site though, it’s comforting to find others in similar situations. I only started being more confident the past year or so and actually wore a bikini on vacation in Miami last year. I almost cried whilst running full speed into the water before too many people saw me, but the water felt sooooo good on my skin! I’m trying to be more confident and not so concerned with how I look or what others will think, but it’s still very hard…

I spent the last 10 years hiding from the world, but here we go…this is me under all the clothes. . .

Diastatis Recti (Katie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Diastasis Recti, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PUPPP Rash, Submissions 46 Comments

Hi Mums,

I am 30 years old and mother to an 8-month daughter. Her name is Maja.

I used to be a fitness maniac before pregnancy, which you can surely see in my photo ‘before’. I used to be on the skinny side, but during pregnancy I gained 50 lbs and I was huge. People frequently asked me if I was carrying twins. Well, I wasn’t, and my baby wasn’t that big, with just 8 lbs.

Unfortunately, in late pregnancy I developed two miserable conditions, one of them was PUPPP (which made me suicidal) and the other one was diastasis recti. The diastasis recti brought along some stretchmarks around my belly button. These stretchmarks have cured fairly well, now they look like thin white or grayish lines, but when I sit down, my stomach is wrinkled. You can see them in one of the pics.

My belly button is deformed b/c of the diastasis recti. I have recently seen a surgeon and been told that I had a slight hernia and ought to undergo a surgery (a mesh implant). The diastasis recti gives me the funny pot belly which you can see in the pictures. I still look like 5 months pregnant. The trouble is, I will have to wait with the surgery until I’m done with having babies.

And I am still not sure if I want another one… It’s not about the body, I believe exercise can do wonders. What troubles me is PUPPP… Perhaps you have heard of it? Just after I gave birth (10 hours in labor), the itching was so bad that I didn’t even feel any pain. My mother had to move in and look after my baby, because I wasn’t able to sleep, I was restless and a nervous wreck. I even went back to hospital and told them to do ‘something’ or I would kill myself. It usually disappears after labor, mine was only getting worse and worse! I had it for six painful weeks and if it ever comes back… I think I can’t take it any more! Unfortunately I deleted all photos with my PUPPP, b/c looking at them made me itch!

8 months postpartum I lost almost all the extra lbs, with only 5 left. But as you can see, the body is not the same. No time for exercise! I hope this will change over time. And I am still thinking about the DR surgery. It would surely make my pot belly disappear.

I didn’t take any pics of my boobs because they haven’t changed a bit. They were two sizes bigger when I breastfed and now they are back to the original size and shape.

Anyway, Maja is the best thing that’s ever happened in my life!



Update (Iraiosc)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Diastasis Recti, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 1 Comment

Original entry here.

Hi again, of course i still reading all post of all valiant woman who has new bodies like me. All you made me stronger and leave my depression.
Actually i feel so pretty dressed because i lost more or less all volume. My son will celebrate 1 year the 2nd april!!

Of course i still having umbilical hernia and diastasis… and i don’t know if i want more kids… of course i want… but i’m so so scared that probably i never would repeat… :(
What a bad situation for my husband, my son and me…. but, what would you do? Maybe another pregnancy would break my belly and probably the baby goes out like an alien!! hahahaha :-D
After i decide i will repair the hernia and put the navel at his place. When i will… i show you pics if you want!

Well, i hope you note some difference between fists pics and this, but i still looking bad down my clothes… my navel is so courious and is looking outside…
Kisses to everybody, still strong as you do and take care of yourselves to feel so pretty inside and outside!!

PD1 My son now is walking!!! :DDD bravoooooo!!
PD2 Again…. sorry for my mistakes in english!

Me dressed! I lost all the kilos i’ve gained!! I think now I look so well, don’t?

Do you see the hernia down the navel? and the wrinkles? :O

i know is terrible, but now i feel so better!

me at 38 weeks

and me one month before being pregnant.

Updated here.