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19 and insecure (Tamara)

September 22, 2008

my name is tamara….im 19 years old. i have a nine month old son…he is beyond the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me….seeing how i have no family…hes def the only guarantee in my life and hes my world….through all this before i had him i prlly had a playboy body lol as i may say….i still had insecurities…but now…i would give anything to have those insecurities back rather than the ones i have now…i have stretch marks from the top of my stomach all the way to the bottom of my knees!!! it just crazy to think the rest of my life i will NEVER be able to just wear shorts… or a bathing suit…not even a one peice!!!! its crazy to think this way…i hate summer now cz i have no choice but to wear sweats and tshirts….it kills me when i go shopping when i see shorts and skirts even jeans that i used to be able to wear…i dunno very depressing…i dont know what to do…one thing is i cant accept it…its just too much to handle…







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30 Responses to “19 and insecure (Tamara)”

  1. Berni Says:
    September 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    You look amazing, you have a beautiful face :)

  2. Pam Says:
    September 22nd, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    First off you look GREAT for having a 9 month old baby. And i def know what you mean. I’m almost 4 mnths pp and i’m 20 yrs old. I used to be in great shape and not so much anymore. I’m on here too under September. But all you can do is just think that you did all that for a GOOD reason.

  3. tamara Says:
    September 22nd, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    aww thank you guys…but yes ur right it def created the best thing that could have ever happened to me!!

  4. Melissa Says:
    September 22nd, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    I think you look AMAZING!!! you can wear capris if you arent comfortable in shorts, and there is TONS of clothing out there for ALL women, and I think you would look amazing in anything!…Good luck with accepting your beautiful figure…I’m sure with time it will come, there are still a lot of changes that will occur in your Post Partum body….:) Smile and know that you are beautiful!

  5. Tee Says:
    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    I know exactly what you mean but if its any consolation I think you look beautiful! I too am covered in stechmarks from the top of my boobs to the back of my knees. Everyday is a battle but it does get easier and the strechmarks do fade a bit over time.besides for just having a baby 9 months ago you look great!Be encouraged you are not alone ; )

  6. Ali Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 6:07 am

    I completely understand what you mean. I’m older than you (28) but I also had a near perfect body before I got pregnant and was completely depressed afterwards. I dropped the baby weight right away but the stretchmarks are still really bad (and RED) 6 months pp.

    I think you look amazing-really amazing. I know it must be hard so young, because it feels like all of your friends are able to dress in all of the more revealing clothing and so you might feel left out in that respect, but remember that you are different in a wonderful way, you’re a mommy. I also think as a little time passes your body will heal even more and you’ll feel fine wearing whatever you want!

    Thanks for sharing your story.

  7. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 8:15 am

    When I was in 7th and 8th grade I got stretch marks on the inside of my thighs and I absolutely would not wear shorts because of them, thinking they must be hidden. But now, half my life later, I have pretty much forgotten about them and I’ll wear shorts or bathing suits in public if I need or want to. Because I am more than my stretch marks. I am more than the way I look and I make myself choose (and it is sometimes a conscious choice I have to push myself into) but I make myself choose to be proud of me, no matter how many marks I have.

    It didn’t take me half my life to forget my stretch marks, though. I would say I had probably forgotten them by the time I was 20 or so.

  8. Katie Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 10:03 am

    I think you look amazing. Confidance in your body will return… I promise you that. I’m a 32 year old mother of three children, I have stretch marks all over my stomach, hips and thighs… but I wore a two piece swimsuit this summer for the first time since I was in my teens. I’m proud of my body…it grew 3 babies and nurished them after they were born.

    You’ll learn to love your body again, it just takes time.

  9. Kit Says:
    September 24th, 2008 at 8:06 am

    You are very beautiful and although it’s very hard when you’ve had an amazing figure to ‘lose’ that after pregnancy, please don’t despair. You’re only 9 months in and it’s still very early days and those stretchmarks that drive you to despair now WILL fade and will get less visible. It’s just time, and that’s hard when you have to look at your body every day and mourn at what you’ve lost. But you’ve also gained something amazing; a baby that you have created.

    I’m much older than you and I had twins aged 33 and, like you, I had a pretty amazing body beforehand (sounds vain, but I was lucky with what God gave me). Although I was lucky and didn’t get any stretch marks the aftermath was awful and I wanted to weep over my tummy as my once-lovely washboard stomach was all wrinkled and pouchy. They call it ‘twin skin’ and no one warns you about it but I can promise you that over time it does get better. The skin improves, stretch marks fade to very soft silver lines and you WILL wear a bikini again. You will do. 9 months on is still very early – my skin didn’t really start to improve until after a year. I used lots of oils and did pilates and just got proud of what I’d made in my daughters. It will take time, but be proud of what you’ve made and grown and be reassured that time is a great healer of the body and you will improve and bounce back. And wear shorts and bikinis – sunshine helps, as does showing the world what an amazing thing you’ve done in carrying a baby.

  10. tamara Says:
    September 24th, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    WOW!!! thank you so much….ya know believe it or not the comments you guys leave me make me feel so much better and look at things in a different way….i know if i do pilates or some kinda of cardio my stomach will get better….its just a slap of reality everytime u see yourself lol….but thank you to everyone…i appreciate your thoughts and inspiration!!

  11. MilkMama Says:
    September 27th, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    You are a beautiful woman. I think that you’d be surprised at how many women, under their clothes, look exactly like you. I am one of them. I look young with clothes on, but if someone took a photo of my butt, they’d probably guess it belonged to a forty-something and someone who weighs fifty pounds more than I do, too.

    I have to agree that you’re only 9 months PP. It does take time, seriously. I took pictures at six months and twelve months PP and another at 21 months PP. Each and every photograph showed a marked difference. I read somewhere that it takes upwards of two years for a mother’s body to return to its prepregnancy state. You’re still healing and changing, and although your body will never be the same as it was before, you should feel confident and beautiful because your body did the one thing (give birth) that millions of women around the world will never be able to experience. It’s a miracle. And your little boy is just beautiful!

  12. sarah Says:
    September 28th, 2008 at 9:52 am

    omg, i have stretchmarks on the backs of my knees too! lol, i just noticed them yesterday, and i cried. i had my son 2 months ago. you look great, i hope my stretchmarks fade like yours!

  13. tiffany Says:
    September 28th, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    i feel yor pain! i just had my baby in july rite b4 i turn 19 and omg im covered in stretch marks, my stomach, my hips, my thighs, the back of my kness and calves, i didn even know u could get stretch marks on your legs! i dont think ile ever be able to wear shorts again:( but neways u look great i hope my marks fade as well as yours:)

  14. iraiosc Says:
    September 30th, 2008 at 4:30 am

    hey darling, i’ve passed same than you… but i’m worst, i’ve hernia, diastasis, wrinkles…

    listen to me, you are beatiful, and your son… pretty (sorry my english is bad, i’m spanish!)

    probably you will see my pics in a few days…

  15. tamara Says:
    September 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    lol…i never know u could get stretch marks on your legs either!! ah! its crazy…

  16. brandy Says:
    October 7th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    you’re beautiful inside and out. having kids and going through bodily changes are what evolve us from girls to mature beautiful women.most women that walk around in little shorts and skirts have far more insecurities than us and thats how they deal with themselves by dressing that way. my husband says stretch marks are a sign of a good time..lol

  17. Healthnut Mama Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 8:53 am

    I have stretchmarks all the way to my ankles! WTF, right? The reason you never see anyone else who has them on their legs is cause they cover them up. I think the hardest is when you talk to those people who tell you they didn’t get any stretch marks. Don’t worry about it though. Your baby is GORGEOUS!! And so are you! And just know that those with marks are the majority. I also learned that some people lie about not getting stretch marks….

  18. Mary Says:
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    Your beautiful, I am 21 and 5 months pregnant with my second child, I felt at 19 (while pregnant with my 1st) I lost my body, I too have strech marks, from my breasts to my knees, and as a former model I was crushed, but in 2 years they have faded and I am not as worried this time around because I know if I get more they can fade too!

  19. Jessica Says:
    October 13th, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Wow, Your stretch marks have faded! Your little boy is adorable!! You are a pretty girl, Keep your head up you are doing just fine!!!
    (6months later)

  20. 22 with twins Says:
    October 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    You are soo pretty! and your son is just adorable. I know what you mean about hating the summer!!! I’m dreading the next one already.. I hope one day you and I both will be able to look past our insecurities and find exceptance with our bodies. I just posted today if you wanna check out my story. It will be under 22 with twins

  21. kitstwins Says:
    October 15th, 2008 at 4:05 am

    I posted earlier but I just wanted to see how you were doing and whether you were feeling any better. I also wanted to say that the more I think about it I really do think you will be okay. Things really will improve. My stomach was heaps worse than yours (just a wrinked, pouching mess) and now it looks absolutely fine. Not what it was before as I’ve had babies/twins and it’s not meant to. It’s meant to show the signs of the amazing journey my body went on. But basically, unless you knew me, you wouldn’t know I’d had twins(if that makes sense). My skin tone is good again, my muscles are strong and I’ve even managed to get my ab lines back.

    It just took time. I rubbed my tummy with oil twice a day and I did exercise when I could and when I felt like it, but I didn’t make a religion about it. I just gave myself time to recover. In a year’s time (which feels like forever when you are young and beautiful as you are…) you will look back on this post and marvel at how your body compares. You WILl be back in your shorts and tops and people will stop and stare. Not only because you’re a gorgeous girl but because you’re a gorgeous girl with a gorgeous baby.

    Have heart. It will all mend with time. You really are stunning and, I promise you, you’ll bounce back. Just keep rubbing that oil in!!! You’ve made a beautiful baby and I think you look AMAZING for only nine months afterwards.
    K

  22. tamara Says:
    October 15th, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    GOD thank you so much for this site and all the lovely women out there!!! this site has def made me feel so much better about myself…its to the point where i dont even think about them every minute of the day like i used to lol…in fact, when im naked and i see them i say they’re not so bad and my son is sleeping peacefully in his room because of them!! everyone on here is drop dead gorgeous in their own ways and i thank everyone for their comments and inspirations!!!! much love girls!!!

  23. AsHleY r0bLeS Says:
    October 18th, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    hey girl i know what your going through..my baby is 81/2 months and im 17 and i look jus like you do!but my stomach is a lil worse my skin is saggy! i also got stretch marks everywhere..on my legs too i cant wear shorts or a bathing suit either!this summer was my first time not to wear shorts or a bathing suit and it was depressing when i went swimming with my friends and i had to wear pants and a shirt and they had these cute swim suits and i just wanted to cry my eyes out! i had a nice body too before i had my daughter,now i dont even wanna look at myself without any clothes on! but my stretch marks on my stomach has faded a lil since i had her! but i just want them to all go away! but i jus wanted to let you know your not going through this alone..im dealing wit it too! but your very pretty and i believe that you will get your old body back! take care!

  24. AsHleY r0bLeS Says:
    November 8th, 2008 at 9:57 am

    you look great!were kindda alike!
    i had a great body too before i got pregnant & now i dont even wna look at myself in the mirror!
    i cant wear a bathing suit or short either cuz i got stretch marks on the back of my legs and behind my knees–they look bad!
    but your very pretty && i hope one day you will be able 2wear a bathing suit and shorts and like what you see!
    && your son is so adorable!!

  25. liv Says:
    November 14th, 2008 at 11:49 am

    Let me first say that your son is beautiful…and so are you sure you have stretch marks but your stomach isnt loose or saggy and if you work at it im sure you can have that playboy body back….my story is pretty much the same to i had my first baby at 17 and now im 5 months preg with my second and my daughter is 9 months old im so afraid that my body is gna look even worse after the second baby cuz my whole life i was skinny before i got pregnant i was in 0/1 and 2/3 and after i was a 6 but i worked my way back into 2/3 but now i feel like my hard work is going to waste cuz im preg again but your body is beautiful and some day you will be able to say IM SEXY AND I GAVE BIRTH TO A BEAUTIFUL SON!!!!!!!!!!!! and you will feel confident enough to know that is a true statement even right now:)

  26. jeanette Says:
    November 28th, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    You look amazing :) :D :D:D beatyfull son verry sveet angel :) my doughter is 11 months :)

  27. Samantha Says:
    December 13th, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Aww, you look great! I understand how you feel though. I am 19, and I just had my first baby October 9th of this year. I had her a little over a month early due to complications with toxemia. I was 34wks 6days. I was getting bigger by the day and I kept thinking to myself “omg how am I going to go back to normal??” But, I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it because you are beautiful and you brought a very beautiful baby into the world :)

  28. Jill Says:
    January 16th, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    gosh you’re gorgeous! and your body looks amazing! you have nothing to be insecure about!

  29. Update 14 Months PP (Tamara) | The Shape of a Mother Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    [...] so i am posted on here way back in august i believe under 19 and insecure (tamara) anyhow..after the new year i finally said my resolution would be to get on a healthy diet and [...]

  30. Melanie Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 11:20 am

    I’m 36 weeks preggers w my first baby now so I can’t yet comment on my pp body, but I really love my body now and felt I had the perfect body b4 i got pregnant. But I can understand the ‘not feeling good enough’ when you feel you started out so perfect! But wow, when reading your story I really expected to see something totally different. I think you look great, I wouldn’t even comment at all if I didn’t see that. You’ve got a nice, sexy figure and even though there’s some stretch marks and some looser skin than you’re used to, you should NOT get that down on yourself. Going through puberty, I got stretch marks all over my hips, thighs, breasts… as I got older they faded and I’ve always been in great shape. Working out really does soften their apperance bc it tightens your skin. Give your skin time to heal, it may take a bit(9 months is just too short a time) but omg you’ll definitely be able to where shorts and bathing suits again, please! give yourself some credit for what it’s been through, and you’ll see… if you work at it and give it time, you’ll see that you’re just going through a time when you’re not seeing things as clearly. You’re beautiful and so is your son!!

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