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15 Months to Find That Love (Amanda)

March 15, 2012

This is an update submission, my original post is here.

I feel as though those words cannot be the last thing I say on the matter of my motherly shape. It took me a year to come around to myself and the image if what I ‘should’ look like, to realize, I look how exactly how I am meant look, nothing less and nothing more.
I had this image in my head of a woman who would bounce back and within a year be fit and skinny, no evidence that she had ever given birth.

But after a year, I have realized, why on Earth would I ever want that?

I would be so devastated now if suddenly my stretch marks disappeared and I didn’t have this softer belly, not because I suddenly decided these things were sexy, but because that’s part of my life story. That’s apart of my daughter’s story and I would never want to take that away from her… or me.

A co-worker of mine recently revealed she was pregnant and we were talking about this website. I decided I would reread my post and what I found broke my heart. I was so sad and so unsatisfied with myself. I can feel the hurt, and all I want to do is jump back in time and say to myself “you won’t always feel this way”.

I have no more sadness when it comes to the shape of my body. I eat right and have recently started working out, not to lose weight, but to build strength and stamina. It’s time to respect my body rather than hate the way it looks for something it did, especially when that something it did is truly incredible.

My body made a life. Doesn’t that deserve respect and love? Instead of self-hatred, I have taken to self-love.

These are my new photos. My daughter is 15 months old now and I love my body. It’s the only one I will ever have, so I plan to treat it right.

You can still see the stretch marks, but they are very faded. The tattoos are still ruined, but tattoos can be fixed. My belly is still squishy and loose, but it’s a great place for my baby girl to rest her head.

I hope any women reading this who are struggling who’ve just had their babies know that time will make things better. Sometimes better isn’t about the physical, but how we perceive it.

Age: 29
Pregnancies/Births: 2/1

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3 Responses to “15 Months to Find That Love (Amanda)”

  1. jackie Says:
    March 15th, 2012 at 9:09 am

    i feel you girl! i have stretch marks all over my bum/boobs/ and inner legs ALLover… even a few on my knees… i got mine from weightloss i believe.. probably not true but my baby was colicky so i couldnt keep my nutrtion while breastfeeding was horrible.. they have faded though and i use a dermaroller to help fade more

  2. ELLA Says:
    March 15th, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    i love this new you. I had my daughter 4 years ago and I was one of those girls, really skinny ones that everyone thought she will bounce back right after the birth.. I didnt… the more i felt the pressure the more i did not want to lose the weight… i was 8s 1/2 befre Jess, when i gave birth i was 11 stone. I am right now 9s.10 and i decided it is time to tone up. You are right, it is the only body we will ever have, we should stop self hattress and appreciate that this body has given us the best gift in the world.

  3. Melissa Says:
    March 18th, 2012 at 1:10 am

    I cannot express in words how truly uplifting this post is. I am so glad you found that acceptance. :) I wish more women could find peace with their bodies, and accept themselves as the way they are. It took me too long to accept my body. Congratulations on that realization! It’s a worthwhile journey.

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