Doesn’t it Make You Wonder? (Alicia)

Reader Alicia commented on a recent post and I found her quote to be so relevant – such a simple and perfect way to sum up why we are all here at this site – that I wanted to share it with you, bolding the part that struck me as especially important.

doesn’t it make you wonder? what are we ashamed OF exactly? why are we embarrassed, what have we done to be embarrassed of? who is our anger directed toward?

i finally realized something. the longer i act ashamed of and embarrassed by my body, the longer i hide it, the more i propagate the belief that i have SOMETHING to be ashamed or embarrassed of! not only that, but what kind of example to we set for our children by feeling ashamed of something that is so natural?

let’s stop hiding our bodies and start showing the world what a REAL woman looks like! it’s not going to happen overnight but who knows? someday maybe our daughters can be proud of those stretchmarks, and our sons will be exposed to reality, not airbrushed and photoshopped bodies!

if i can do it, with my stomach that looks like an elephant knee – then you can definitely do it! one day at a time

We are all, of course, here to work on ourselves as individuals – and that is deeply important work. But, I hope we are all here to change the world a little bit, too. Even one comment at a time can have astounding effects on people. Let’s take this to heart and remember that loving our bodies does more than just make us whole in our womanly selves – it makes the world whole as well.

As an aside, I want to apologize for my recent absence. I fell far behind here due to a combination of general business, holiday and birthday preparations and that evil head cold everyone you know has. I’m back now and hope to be catching up quicker than I was before! And I hope you all avoid the sickies like the plague!

Saturday Night

Last night, at a local coffee shop aimed towards moms, some women gathered with me to watch the amazing film, Fifty Nude Women. I first heard about the film through this site – a reader had sent me a link – and it’s such a perfect idea, and goes so exactly hand-in-hand with The Shape of a Mother, that I passionately feel I need to promote it as much as possible. And local showings sounded like a fun way to do that.

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After a few technical difficulties (in that it turns out my laptop needs electricity to run. who knew?) we finally saw the ending on my friend’s laptop (her Mac, although electrified, would not hook up to the projector properly without a certain piece of elusive hardware). Luckily the movie is so wonderful that it was still uplifting even after all that.

I hope very much to have more showings around the county in the future (and I promise to bring my laptop’s power supply!), and I would encourage all of you, Readers, to try the same if at all possible. The license to show it in public is quite affordable and so worth it when you consider the self-esteem of women watching it.

Here are some of the things women at the showing had to say to Margot Roth, the producer of the movie, about it:

Thank you for such a beautiful film. It was amazing to see such a variety of body shapes and sizes. And all the women were laughing and smiling!

I think every woman needs to see this movie. It was very comforting to see such a diversity of women’s bodies of all ages and nationalities. This movie rocks!

This was an awesome film, as it shows us glimpses of how 98% of women look in the “real world.” Hollywood insists on glorifying the 2% who have fabulous bodies and even most of those are airbrushed. Young girls should view this to aid their self-esteem and give them a good body image. Young men should view it as a good reality check.

Incredible! Amazing! It’s true – we are ALL beautiful.

I truly wish nudity was acceptable enough that I could show this to my middle schoolers. Every adolescent girl should see this film. Is there a “50 Nude Men?” (They need it, too.)

I found myself smiling throughout the showing.

AWESOME, AWESOME film that shows what a real woman looks like without clothes.

Thank you, Margot, for giving this to the world. We need it.

Articles on the Web

I was poking through some old (old!) issues of Mothering Magazine today when I found two articles you need to read.

The first I will also link from Save Our Daughters because it fits right in over there and is all about how to teach your children to be tolerant of people of all shapes and sizes. It’s a beautiful and necessary read.

The second mirrors the goal of this website in general, which is, of course, to learn to love your new mama body. It’s a stunning look at the way we are prepared to view ourselves once we birth a child, and then the author’s own feelings about her postpartum body.

I hope you enjoy them, and I hope you pass them both on to every mother you know.

Minnie Driver – “Podgy and fat” and completely awesome.

A reader sent me this article a few weeks ago now and I’ve only just now gotten to read it. How refreshing! Thank you, Minnie Driver!

I think it must be very hard to be a celebrity mom these days. If we feel watched after our babies are born, I can only imagine how they feel with tabloids stalking them for any chance to bring them down a peg. I hope Minnie’s words are heard by other moms – celebrity and not – and I hope they follow suit, it’s a trend we can use!

And thank you, Melissa, for the heads-up!

A New TV Show

I just watched a preview of a new (to the US) show on Lifetime called “How to Look Good Naked.”

I was dubious at first due to the title – it sounds like just another show about dieting and/or weightloss and I think women get enough of that already. But I was pleasantly surprised. A better name for the show might be “How to Feel Good Naked” for the basic idea is to learn to love who you already are. It is a makeover show discussing how to buy the correct bra and how best to dye your hair, and in that vein it’s superficial and not very original. But it sure is refreshing to see all these bodies that belong to real women. And not only that, but to see these bodies proclaimed as beautiful!

I feel kind of silly posting this, sounding like a commercial, but I really think the show might be of interest to many women who check this blog. I believe, in a small way, the revolution has begun to change the way women view their bodies.

Anyhow, check it out – it premieres on Friday, January 4, at 9pm (8 Central).

The Shape of One Year

Exactly one year ago today, I took a photo of my baby and myself while my daughter napped. I opened up a new blog and passed the link around to some friends. I hoped beyond hope that a few moms might see it, I waited tensely for a day or so, hoping someone would join in and begging my own friends to participate. And then it happened. Word spread faster than I could have dreamed – like wildfire! Moms sent in their pictures, thoughts, stories to share with all of us. It was clear that mothers were desperate for this kind of relief – to know they were normal. I was brought to tears by the response and the relief I felt worldwide from all the women who responded.

I’ve been touched by this site in ways I never dreamed. I knew I would feel relief and I imagined I might redefine my definition of “beauty”, but I never expected to be changed this much. I never dreamed the lessons I would learn from all my sisters in motherhood here.

I learned that not only do some mothers wear their marks with pride, but others dream to be given the chance to grow their own.

While I knew not all babies survived, never have I been intimately aware of the story of a mother who has lost her child. There have been many such stories shared here, some where mothers were left with no marks (and thus no physical memory) of their journey through nine months, others were left with bitter reminders. A couple of mothers have continued to share their updates here as their families grow again.

I have been rather starstruck by a few of the moms who have posted here, the creator of Hathor, for instance. I remember one day, many months ago now, the whole internet was in a tizzy over one mother who was birthing her triplets at home – we were all following her story at the mothering.com forums. I didn’t know her at the time, but she posted here a few months later and shared her story with us.

A great diversity of moms have shared their stories, and I am ever-grateful to have so many different kinds of women represented here. Women of all sizes, women whose bodies were forever changed because of health complications they had no control over – and were lucky to survive, women whose physical changes are not possible to hide from the world. Women whose bodies have been changed drastically, and those who have virtually no physical reminders.

I’ve been witness to some pretty cool links on the internet like this one, showing the growth of a belly in just 20 seconds. I’ve seen some amazing photography from our Flickr group. I’ve read some touching thoughts on the subject. I’ve seen the effects of complications.

On a few occasions, this site has been featured in the media. I’m still in shock that less than a month after it’s birth, The Guardian, in London, did a story. And, more recently (and our first US recognition), our story on CBS3.com.

All in all, it’s been an amazing year. Stunning, inspiring, touching, tearful, lovely,magical. I feel like a difference has been made in the world – even if just a tiny one. But even a tiny difference can snowball into a revolution if we work hard enough at it. In this upcoming year and the years to come, I fully intend to feed that snowball. I’ve got some really amazing ideas for where to go with this website and plan to start work on them ASAP.

So thank you all, each and every one of you. I may be here putting the stories up daily (OK, almost daily), but without YOU there would be no stories. And without YOU, there would be no one to read the stories or to pass on the link. Without YOU, there would be no one to grow this revolution in favor of real bodies. Bless you all, and pass it on!