Brigitte, a German magazine is banning all models and using women who represent a wider variety of body sizes and shapes! Dear, United States, please take note.
Link
The BMI Project
I came across this a long time ago and was recently reminded of it – today’s entry inspired me to finally get around to sharing it with you all.
We all know the scale lies – that’s why “They” created the BMI, to have a more accurate way of assessing weight and size. And it is more accurate. But that does not make it accurate at all.
Many years ago, I worked in the shoe department of a fancy store. I remember one day a woman came in and tried on a pair of size six shoes that happened to be too small for her. I offered to get her a six and a half to try, but she told me, “No, I wear size six.” Even knowing that different brands run differently, she was unwilling to choose the next size up in a pair of shoes she loved because she allowed herself to be tied to numbers.
We do that too often. We think about how much we weigh, what size we wear – as mothers we count diapers and ounces of milk consumed (do you think ancient people did this?). We care so much about numbers we forget that they do not equate normalcy. So many of us fall outside of “average” and we berate ourselves for this, even when we are perfect just the way we are.
So, please, check out the BMI project and try to let go of the control that numbers have over you.
Beauty in a Magazine
Thank you, Glamour, for this!
She is beautiful. Even more so that someone in corporate got a clue that THIS is what we want (need) to see. Despite the fact that it was such a small photo, I am glad it was printed at all. Next step: bigger photo.
(It does make me want to vomit a little, though, that she is considered plus sized in terms of modeling – look at the definition in her body! She’s perfect.)
The Unnecesarean Has a New URL – UPDATED
Unfortunate circumstances have forced Jill, the owner of The Unnecesarean, to change her url. It’s such a fantastic and important resource for women that I wanted to make sure to pass along the word. If you have it bookmarked or linked, please take a moment to make the correction.
The new link is: https://www.theunnecesarean.com
UPDATE: Jill’s got the old one back now so either address will take you to her site! Yay!
Toddler Plastic Surgery?
I caught a glimpse of this video on some show last night (honestly I don’t even know which one – the husband was flipping channels and I made him stop so I could see this) and went straight to MomLogic.com to see the whole thing. It’s a commentary on plastic surgery and, perhaps, a plea that we as a culture take a step back and really LOOK at ourselves and our obsession with fixing what’s not broken.
The video is quite funny, but really brings home the message that we are being a bit ridiculous about changing our appearances – from nose jobs (I was SO SAD when Ashlee Simpson got a boring nose) to bellies, are we sending the wrong message to our daughters (and sons and to each other)?
Truly, I do not judge another woman’s choice, for I have not walked in her shoes. And I also want to make it clear that all mamas are welcome here, regardless of your opinion on this subject. But I feel that – in general – we are just applying band-aids to this problem of self-esteem our culture has created within us. I believe the only real way to heal ourselves is to learn to love (or at least not hate) bodies in all the shapes they come in. Once our stomachs are “fixed” what part will we hate next? We have to fight for our diversity!
I have a fantastically ugly belly by society’s standards, but I flat-out refuse to feel that way about it. I am determined to love my belly no matter how hard it is. And I will do that for myself and for my daughter and for anyone else who is inspired by the act. What are you determined to love? And who do you do it for?
Just a Little Uterus Humor
One of the funniest blogs out there is CakeWrecks.com, run by Jen. In honor of a surgery she is having today, yesterday she devoted her entry to cakes which celebrate our most special fetus-carrier. Check it out, but don’t blame me if you spit your coffee all over your screen. Good luck today, Jen!
A Story of “Pregorexia”
A big thanks to Kate who sent me this link this morning which led me to this article about a mom’s personal experience starving herself during her pregnancy. I have long thought that the focus on weight gain during pregnancy is too strong and even misguided. It is a good and important medical tool to use, but most of us do not use it that way – instead it is twisted into some kind of moral social structure in which those of us who gain the “right” amount “win” and those who gain outside that are forced into self-hatred.
The article mentions that more often anorexia is about control – and how truly out of control are we while pregnant? It’s exhilarating and terrifying all at once. From changes on the surface like stretch marks to changes deeply inside our souls as we realize just how vulnerable motherhood makes us – we are out of control in many ways.
So, take a look at this woman’s story and pictures. And pass it on. And I believe we can help someone out there.
Female Anatomy
While I’m posting links about our personal bits, I wanted to share a link discussing basic anatomy. I’ve wanted to do this for some time now, because from time to time women posting here, either in submissions, or in comments, get the names of their body parts wrong. I feel like it is very common for women to not be familiar enough with themselves and I really hope that phase in our culture is coming to an end.
Anyway, here is a good guide to the vulva. It’s from a site created primarily for teens, but the information is excellent. As mothers, we probably know some of what she is talking about here, but take a peek anyway, you may learn something. I did!
Diversity of Vulvas
This past Sunday, I was reading PostSecret and came across a secret about a woman’s feelings of shame over her hanging labia. It struck me as very similar to the feelings I had before I started this website. In response to the postcard, someone contributed a link to a post all about the diversity of labia, complete with illustrations (purely educational, but graphic).
I wanted to share this with you all because – just as with mama bellies – I feel like the more images we see of normal diversity, the less fear and discomfort we will have with ourselves if our bodies happen to fall outside of what we, as individuals, feel must be normal.
View the link, share your feedback here, and then pass it along to as many women and men as you can! We need to show the world what normal is.
UPDATE (1/15/15): Also relevant? The Great Wall of Vagina. Yes. It is as amazing as you think.
When a Child Dies
I lived in a sweetly ignorant world before I opened this website – I never knew of a person who had lost a baby. Not here in the US! Not in this day and age of good medical care and awareness of baby safety! I knew it happened, but it was rare – so rare.
And then, shortly after this site opened, a mother wrote a post here about having lost her son and it punched me right in the heart. But she was not the only one, many mothers have since written here about the same thing.
That same summer, a friend of mine was at the birth of her goddaughter when that beautiful little girl did not make it – and there was no known reason for it. I listened to my friend as she tried to make sense of this, as she went through the grieving process, the legal process – the fears during her friend’s next pregnancy, and the joyful outcome of a healthy baby at the end.
This website is here for us mothers to help us deal with our body issues, but as I have learned here, mamas need an outlet to grieve as well. This week, a friend pointed me to a beautiful website for parents to blog along the road to healing. I would like to know of other websites as well to keep them here as a resource for parents who need them. If you know of any that have helped you, please leave them in a comment here.
This past week, two babies in the blogging community have died. Maddie and Thalon. You can read more and find links at this BlogHer Post. If you think you can help, please do. If you cannot afford to help monetarily, even just a comment or a moment of silence, I believe, would do the world some good.