First Pregnancy

First Child, Deployed Husband (Jessi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

I’m Jessi. I will soon be turning 21 and my baby girl is 3 months 1 week and 2 days old. She is my pride and joy and I thank God for her every day for allowing me to have her while my husband is off serving our country.

When we first found out I was pregnant we were both so ecstatic! It was a bittersweet time in our lives though because my husband was to deploy when i was at 7 months in my pregnancy. Throughout my pregnancy i had the “morning sickness” which ironically ALWAYS came in the afternoons! Other than my morning sickness (which didn’t bother me at all) i had a perfect pregnancy! I had never in my life been so happy! I was at 150 before i became pregnant and at the end i had only gained 27 lbs… no swelling, no extra weight, nothing! After my husband deployed i “went home to mama” because I was so afraid of trying to go through the rest of my pregnancy alone… and it was a good thing that i did.

Three days before my due date my mother-in-law had me out walking and trying to get the labor moving along. That night the weather was supposed to get bad and I had been having contractions for weeks that were about 15-20 minutes apart so she insisted that we go have me checked before heading home (which i had been checked 2 days before and i was only at 1 cm so i didn’t think that i had moved along ANY!) As the nurse came in and checked me she started counting 1…2…3… id say you are about 5 cm lets get you back to a room! My mom was in the room with me when she said this so we both immediately got on our phones and started telling people. After a few hours in labor my husband calls not knowing ANYTHING that’s going on so i told him and he didn’t believe me at first but his words to me were when i call back you better have a baby here :D

Needless to say after 11 hours of labor thru the night the Dr. finally came in and said what i think we have here is a square peg trying to fit into a round hole… I had only dilated to 8 cm in 11 hrs and a lip of my cervix wouldn’t pull back so we went in for a caesarian section. My mom immediately started crying because she had all 3 of us naturally. I set up my voicemail on my phone to say something like “Baby if you call i had to have a c-section call your mom i love you”. As our baby was being put into my moms arms to go see everyone he was just about to get off the phone with his mom and my mom walked thru the doors with our crying baby girl in her arms… and he got to hear her first cries!!! That was simply amazing to me.

So now as i sit here watching our baby girl sleep and i type this story i realize just how blessed we were for him to be able to call and actually hear her first cries. We still await his arrival home but that joyous, amazing return will come soon! He will be able to meet our daughter for the first time and we will be able to start our family together and not long distance…

What I feel on the inside doesn’t match the outside… (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 14 Comments

I am 16 months pp and have slowly lost a few pounds here and there. It’s not the weight that gets me down, but how my body has become so misshapen. My breasts are so saggy and the one is double the size of the other. My back side is just a blob of fat. I don’t feel sexy anymore. I can’t physically do the things I used to. I know that for my health and so I can live a long life, I need to lose weight, but it gets me so down. When I get ready and look in the mirror I see a beautiful person, but when I see pictures, I’m so ashamed at what my body looks like.

A month before I had my daughter, her dad left me. I have this thought in the back of my head that if I lose the weight and start looking good that he’ll notice me and come back. Believe me, I know all the things wrong with that statement :)

Maybe some of you have some advice about what to do to be motivated when you are so down about your body. I love my little girl sooooo much and would do it all over again, but I want me back. I want parts of the person I was before I had her back also.

Age 25
1 Pregnancy, 1 Birth
Girl, Reese, age 16 months

For Chanel (Dalena)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

~ Age: 25
~ 1 pregnancy 1 birth
~ 5 weeks postpartum

I stopped taking my birth control pills at the end of May 2010. I found out I was pregnant on July 17th, 2010. I would say my pregnancy was normal. There weren’t any complications. I gained a total of 45lbs. I was 185lbs at my first prenatal appointment. And 230lbs at my last prenatal appointment. At 36 weeks my doctor told me that my baby was measuring a little big. An ultrasound estimated that baby was 8lbs 12oz. My due date came and went. I was scheduled to be induced on a Monday April 4th. I went into labor at 8:30pm on Thursday March 31st. I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant. My contractions started at 5 minutes apart. By the time I got to the hospital at midnight they were 2 minutes apart. I was checked and only dilated to 3 and a half centimeters… I walked around the hospital for 3 hours until the contractions became unbearable. I was checked again and was at 5 cm. I was taken to my room and given my epidural shortly after. I was checked again and had dilated to 7 cm. So far so good right? The doctor broke my water to try to speed things up. Hours later I was still at 7 cm so I was given pitocin. I was contracting so much at one point they had to turn my pitocin off. I never dilated past 7 cm. My babys heart rate was high and I had a fever. My only concern during my entire pregnancy was that I would have to have a c-section… And that’s exactly what had to happened. I was distraught. I cried for about an hour while they got everything ready. I didn’t want the pain and the longer recovery time and even more I didn’t want the scar and the “lip” that my sister has from her c-sections. The moment I heard my baby cry I forgot about everything else. Chanel Marie was born Friday April 1st, 2011 at 3:39pm. She was 8lbs 8oz of pure perfection. I recovered quickly from my c-section. I was up and moving at the hospital. I took it easy but I didn’t baby myself. I lost 30 pounds in the first 2 weeks after delivering. Since then I’ve been losing about 3 pounds a week. I have 8lbs to lose until I’m back at the weight I was at my first prenatal appointment. I’m breastfeeding and eating a healthy diet and I’ve been going on walks about twice a week. I’m hoping to be cleared by my doctor to start working out at my 6 weeks pp appointment which is this Friday. My final goal weight is between 140 and 145. I’m going to give myself a year to meet that goal. And I’m hoping by the time I reach my goal weight my “lip” won’t really be noticeable. It’s already looking better since my tummy is getting flatter. In the end everything I was worried about hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Besides it was all for Chanel so it was more then worth it. I’m sooo in love. I’d do absolutely ANYTHING for my babygirl.

Thank you SOAM for letting me share. I owe a lot of being able to accept my body after the pregnancy to the site and women who have posted their stories. I hope that someone will read my story and it will help them to accept their body after their pregnancy as well. There is nothing more beautiful then life and love. And that is what our bodies have done. Created life and love.

Pic #1 Me before pregnancy
Pic #2 is 15 weeks pregnant
Pic #3 and #4 is 27 weeks pregnant
Pic #5 is 39 weeks pregnant
Pic #6 and #7 is me 5 weeks postpartum.
Pic #8 is the “lip”… Where the tummy pokes out over the scar.

Updated here.

We create beauty. We are beauty. (Kayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Original entry here.

I put a post on here not too long ago. I have come so far the passed few weeks that I thought I would go ahead and post again. I have been thinking a lot about my body and the bodies of women on this site and I am wondering…how in the world could we ever be considered imperfect? We created and continue to create perfection, out sweet little babies, the most precious and loving thing on earth. This obviously makes us beautiful :) I started writing, kinda venting a tad ;) and this is what I ended up with.

To all the people that think that women should all be the media’s idea of perfection, screw you. All of the people that make me feel ashamed to wear a swim suit, get over it, I am wearing one. You must not appreciate the female body for what it is made to do. We, as women, are built to make life. WE grow babies inside of our wombs. With that comes the “imperfections”. The stretch marks, the saggy skin and breasts, the drooping, enlarged, and darker nipples. These are the changes our bodies had to make to nourish a life to grow inside of it. Women are made to give birth to life and nourish that life after it enters the world. Women are beautiful because of this amazing miracle. Not because their bodies aren’t yet scarred, or “ruined” as I have heard some say. I am not ruined. We are not ruined. We are beautiful. We are powerful. We gave birth to life. No one can ever tell me that my body isn’t perfect. To me it is. My daughter is wonderful perfection in my eyes. She is beautiful. My body changed for her. The changes it made, make it beautiful.

My daughter is now a month old. I saw her smile for the first time 2 days ago. It melts my heart and makes every mark on my body worth it. I was sad for myself when I looked in the mirror after I gave birth. Now I am glad that I look this way. If it wasn’t for me looking this way, I wouldn’t have her. She is now my world and I wouldn’t change a thing about my body. It gave me and my husband our baby girl. I have posted some updated pictures because I think the other ones I posted didn’t do my stretch marks justice :) Plus I lost a bit of weight in the last few weeks so I am quite proud :)

Number of pregnancies and births: 1
4 weeks pp (3 weeks in pics)

Picture 1 -Pre pregnancy tummy
Picture 2&3- 3 weeks pp
Picture 4- My husband and I Christmas 2010 (around 6 months pregnant)
Picture 5- My beautiful daughter, 3 weeks old.

Updated here.

Living it Up (Meredith)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

Dear SOAM,

Oh man. This site has helped me so so much! I read it daily. No joke, after I had my little man (almost 2 years ago now, crazy) I was shocked/ticked with what happened to my body. No one told me what was gonna happen. No one ever talked about the droopy, saggy, scarred, forever changed body that would be left after the kid popped out. I gained pleeenty during pregnancy and was left with stretch marks and saggy skin galore. I worked hard and lost all the weight but still found myself hating my body and not even wanting to get dressed because I felt so alien in my skin. Then one day I thought, “Hello, Meredith! When you wear clothes that fit, you feel so much better about yourself and you get more done throughout the day. Plus you look fine with clothes on. Live up what you’ve got while you’ve got it, girl!” (when I talk to myself I go street, I guess). So that’s what I’m trying to do: I started a thrifty, mommy “fashion” blog and it’s been great. I’ve met tons of people while forcing myself to get ready daily. I still have days where I don’t feel worth it, days when I spot my wrinkly stomach and super droop boobs and I just want to climb back into my pajamas and never come back, but mostly it’s been very helpful. I’m not hiding how pregnancy changed my body, I’m just not letting it rule my mind anymore. My ultimate goal is to blog through another pregnancy (our little family’s not there quite yet!) because during my first one I never got gussied up, I just felt so huge and unmotivated. Well, never again! Pregnancy is not a disease and I want to celebrate/enjoy it more next time. Anyway, thanks to SOAM I know I’m normal. And it feels pretty good to just be normal. :)

Love, Meredith
https://meredithtuttle.blogspot.com/
I’m 23 and my little man is 22 months!

3 Years Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

I’m coming up on my daughter’s third birthday and it was sort of a shock to realize that this was also (obviously) the three-year anniversary of my c-section. I hadn’t planned on a c-section and was pretty upset that I ended up having one. I had figured that my body would be different after pregnancy and childbirth. In fact, I remember looking at this very website before I was even pregnant and being shocked at how some women’s bodies had changed. Yet, but I’m still surprised at how different my body is now even though I *am* one of those women now. I have yet to fully come to accept it. I’ve never had a great figure but I do mourn the loss of what I had. I love my daughter very very much and have no regrets but I don’t like what I see in the mirror and usually avoid even looking. I probably weigh just about the same as I did when I got pregnant, maybe about 5 lbs more but even when I weighed 30 lbs more pre-pregnancy I liked my body better. The weird sagging apron of fat around my mid-section is a source of dismay and embarrassment and even presents problems for clothing options. I don’t fully understand why my body looks like this now. Is it the c-section? According to my doctors there was no complications with the surgery and I healed well. I didn’t have diastasis recti. Is it just age? I don’t know. I’ve started going to the gym again and trying to watch what I eat but I have to admit, I don’t think it’s going to get better seeing as I’ve been 30 lbs heavier and never looked like this. I think it’s just the way I look now and I need to learn to accept it. Three years later.

Your Age: 43 (gave birth at 40)
Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 years

My New Self (Dee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 10 Comments

~Age: 17
~Number of Pregnancies and Births: 1
~Age of Child/Postpartum: Almost 6 months

I tried to make this short, but failed miserably. I saw this website when looking for something to help with my stretch marks. I think this site is absolutely wonderful and I am very excited to post.

If you’re a mom reading this, I just want to say congratulations on being a mom and congratulations on your “mom” body. Even though it may not be your ideal body, it was your baby’s ideal body and without that body you wouldn’t have them. Whose lives are completely ideal anyways? Certainly not mine.

How It Happened:

I met a guy my junior/senior year (I graduated a year early, so my junior and senior year were combined). I was a butch lesbian at the time and just broke up with a serious girlfriend for reasons I won’t get into. I really liked him and we became good friends. I was attracted to him so our friendship became friends-with-benefits. We did lots of drugs together and hung out every day. Both of us had just gotten out of serious relationships, though, and neither of us wanted to get into anything serious any time soon. Him and I became extremely unhealthy because of our drug use and decided we needed to stop.

In the beginning of March, my period was only a couple days late and I concluded it was from my recent drug use, but decided to go get a pregnancy test just to make sure. My friend and I didn’t use protection because I just assumed it wouldn’t happen to me and that teen pregnancy wasn’t as common as everyone says. I wanted a family eventually, but I wanted to live a party lifestyle for a while before I settled down. We saw the results together and both broke down crying. I took 3 more tests just to be sure. They were all positive. I knew I couldn’t bring myself to have an abortion or go through an adoption. I don’t have anything against women who do either of those options; I’ve just always known I wouldn’t be able to when the choice needed to be made. To me it wasn’t a choice. I couldn’t bear to think about killing my own child or being separated from them after spending 9 long months of pregnancy and going through a birth with them. Colton, my friend-with-benefits, then decided we needed to be dating and that he was going to stick by my side. At first I didn’t want him to date me just because he got me pregnant; I wanted him to date me because he wanted to date me, but I knew that I was luckier than some girls and accepted the offer.

My Teenage Girl’s Body:

I was never happy with that body, which now I wish I could have back. I had symmetrical, perky, small C-sized breasts. My butt could have used some work, but it was definitely “cute”. My stomach wasn’t completely flat, but it was in better condition that many other girls. I had a beautiful navel piercing that I absolutely loved. My legs weren’t half-bad. I used to be a dancer before I got more into drugs and all the strengthening ballet, jazz, tap, etc. gave me was something I took for granite. I stood at 5’ 2 ½” and weighed 110 pounds at the most. I had 2 tattoos; a playboy on my butt cheek and three iris flowers on my ribs. The iris tattoo was a cover up because I had gotten an unprofessional tattoo that I regretted for an ex-girlfriend. My skin had many flaws, though. I used to cut myself because of unmanaged anxiety, which left me with terrible scars all over my right arm, stomach, and thighs. When I was a cutter, I had to hide my body because I felt like it was nobody’s business and I was embarrassed. Eventually, though, I stopped caring. Some people would stare and those who weren’t familiar with cutters would ask what happened to me. I’d always tell them the truth; that I used to have some problems. I was no longer ashamed of those imperfections, although sometimes I’d imagine how much more wonderful my body would be if only I hadn’t destroyed it. They don’t bother me anymore, but I love when I can tell they’ve faded more and more over the years.

The Pregnancy:

I had a completely uncomplicated pregnancy, except for the fact that I had anemia, but I suffered from that before my pregnancy as well. I gained around 37 pounds. I rubbed cocoa butter all over my body at least 3 times a day every day for the entire duration of my pregnancy. I was extremely worried about stretch marks. By the end, I noticed one, maybe two stretch marks and I was so happy. I constantly checked and was fine with having just one or two.

The Birth:

The birth was uncomplicated, although at one point the doctors thought I needed a C-section because I wasn’t progressing as fast as they’d like and they thought my baby’s head may be too large to fit through. I had a vaginal birth with an epidural at age 17 after 23 long hours in labor. I was very afraid of tearing or needing an episiotomy, but neither happened. Holding my daughter was the most amazing moment of my life. My boyfriend and I cried tears of joy at this wonderful little blessing we brought into the world.

My New Life:

I had already stopped doing drugs by the time I’d found out I was pregnant, but it changed my whole perspective. Why would I even consider getting high if it could harm my baby? Well, I wouldn’t and didn’t. I went from being a don’t-give-a-shit, teenage, druggie, lesbian to an expecting mother with a guy by her side. Literally, my whole life was turned upside down. A baby was the very last thing I was expecting. Suddenly all of my goals changed. My whole outlook on life changed. Just everything changed. I have my own little family now, and even though things aren’t perfect, my boyfriend and daughter are both amazing. I am a mother now. It is my new identity. No longer am I a butch or a party girl, but a mom.

My Daughter:

I had a gorgeous 7 lb 8 oz, baby girl named Daisy the day after my due date. She is the love of my life. I never realized how much I could love someone. She is more important to me than anything in this world and I wouldn’t change a single thing about her. Throughout my entire pregnancy I worried that something would be wrong with her because of all the drugs my boyfriend and I did before (and possibly right after) I became pregnant, but she is completely healthy and I am so dumbfounded by how amazing she is. I’m so proud of all the things she can do and is continuing to learn to do. Having a child is by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know she’s here for a reason. I was heading down the wrong path and she has put me on the right track and added so much more joy to my life than I could have ever imagined.

My New Woman’s Body:

Before I was just a girl, but now my body has endured the true pains of womanhood and I feel like a woman now. After I gave birth the weight melted off. By the time I was 3-4 weeks postpartum I weighed in at 115 lbs, which I am still at and can’t seem to lose those 5 more pounds. I was glad I had lost almost all my pregnancy weight in just a couple weeks and so ecstatic that I hardly got stretch marks throughout my entire pregnancy, but no one told me that you can also get stretch marks from losing a lot of weight quickly. I soon noticed lots of little stretch marks all over my stomach and butt/hips. I am crier and I cried about it for a good while. I used more cocoa butter and bio oil, but neither showed noticeable improvement. I am now using Mederma Stretch Mark Therapy; in hopes that it will help them fade (I’ll let you know how it works). Since I’ve already dealt with scars for years, I know that it takes time for things like that to fade and that there isn’t just a magic cream that will make them disappear. My woman’s body has less muscle all over and a lot more chub in the midsection. My once sexy navel piercing is now droopy and old-looking. My thighs and calves have cellulite and no longer have the dancer-look they once did. And my breasts; oh, how I miss those perky, teenager breasts. My breasts now aren’t as perky or symmetrical. They are smaller than they were in middle school. I loved wearing low-cut shirts back in pre-pregnancy years, but now I feel so flat-chested it’s as if they don’t even exist.

The Conclusion:

Now, I could complain about my new body all day, but I simply don’t want to. It’s a complete waste of energy. My body is wonderful. I am so proud of my body for creating, carrying, and giving birth to my beautiful daughter. I know that many mothers have it way worse than I do and I should be grateful that my “mom” body isn’t so bad. I’m worried about summer coming up and having to wear a bathing suit. I think I still have the nerve to show off my body, but it definitely makes me uneasy. I have doubts about myself and I am very self-conscious after giving birth, but I should stop waiting for my old body to come back because I know that body is long gone. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I love my body for what it did and what it does every day, not how it looks. What’s so great, though, is that I can love how it looks, too. I also know that you will see improvement in your body, but only if you work at it and take care of it.

I just want to say to all the mothers out there that I never knew how under appreciated we are until I became one. Mothers are amazing people and I honestly don’t think the world would work without us.

And to all other teenage mothers- I know it sucks to see that none of your friends have mother’s bodies and their bodies seem so perfect and not ruined, but you have something that they don’t even know they’re missing: the joy of being a mother. They can’t even begin to understand how much love you have in your life, at least I didn’t before I became a mother. Those bangin’ little teenage bodies shrivel in comparison to the complete happiness my daughter gives me every single day.

Pictures:
1. 4 months pregnant; prom night
2. 6 1/2 months pregnant on vacation for my 17th birthday
3. 39 weeks pregnant
4. Pushing at the hospital
5. My baby, Daisy, at the hospital
6. Me and my little girl
8-10. Almost 6 months postpartum
11. My little Daisy at 5 1/2 months

Updated here.

Underneath it All (Heidi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 9 Comments

19 years old
1 pregnancy, 1 birth
3 1/2 months PP

In March of 2010, I met the man who would give me our beautiful son. I was the epitome of the typical (stereotyped) 18 year old, I stopped going to school to party all night and sleep all day. All I cared for was getting high, getting drunk, getting s*x. School wasn’t important, they told me I wasn’t going to graduate with my class (of ’10), so I gave up on going.

I got kicked out of my house a couple weeks after my 18th birthday (Feb. 26th), and spent a couple weeks bouncing from house to house until I met my fiancé. I moved in with him permanently, with a very strong intention to start a relationship.

Within about three weeks of us living together and being together, he asked if we could try to have a baby. I agreed wholeheartedly. I’m still not sure why, it just seemed like a good idea. Well, I was pregnant the next month. I had figured out my approximate window of time where I was ovulating, and two weeks later I missed my period (I was always regular). I took a pregnancy test and I was pregnant! We were so excited, but we were the only ones. Everyone likes to form their own opinions: “too young”, “too soon into the relationship”, etc. I didn’t care, I was extremely happy.

I was 134lbs before pregnancy. within the first four months, I had dropped to 114lbs because I suffered from hyperemesis gavidarum. I was not hospitalized for it. I was only able to drink Pepsi (I don’t know why), and I could barely keep any food down. I was vomiting maybe seven times a day at the most, mainly when I got up the courage to try to eat something. I was always tired, but I pushed myself to go to “work” (I babysat three children next door from around 5-6pm until 2-3am) because it was the only income we had at the time. Eventually, I got so weak that I just could not bear the thought of babysitting, and I called off working for her one day (She didn’t even have work, she just wanted to go tan at the beach), and she fired me.
I was exhausted, but I was so happy to be 114lbs. I’d always struggled with my weight and body image. Even at 125lbs, I thought I was fat. I got stretch marks when I was only 13 (I hit puberty at 11) and my chest size when from a B to a D in one summer. I was around 127lbs, and I was horrified. I’m only 5’2″, and I felt terribly chunky. I knew I was predispositioned to be curvy, but I was a stick before, so I honestly had no idea what “curvy” meant.

114lbs was the thinnest I’d been since I was around 12. I didn’t “hate” that I’d only achieved the weight b/c I was pregnant, but you can bet I wished I could be that weight afterwards!

I didn’t start showing until about the end of my 5th month, but I was still happy with my weight, my shape (I was all belly at the time), everything.

By the end of my pregnancy, I weighed around 157lbs. I started suffering from depression again (I was diagnosed with MDD-Major Depressive Disorder at age 14) when I hit 145lbs. After I gave birth, my weight only went down to 154lbs. My son was born a healthy 6 lbs, 13 oz, but I hadn’t even lost that much! I was so disappointed.

To top it off, I had a very hard birth. My epidural only worked partially (on my legs, they might as well have not been there for how much I could feel them), so I had horrible, painful back labor, my midwife would not let my fiancé or my Mum help me with holding my legs at my chest (I don’t know why). I got an episiotomy at the very end of my 18 hour labor (three hours pushing) and my beautiful baby boy was born three pushes later at 1:56pm on January 12th, 2011.

I decided to breastfeed early on, and I am proud to say I still am (despite a nasty case of mastitis 3wks PP). I went down to about 147lbs in two weeks, but I haven’t gone below 153lbs since the end of 1 month PP. I was told by many nurses and midwives that the baby weight just melts off when you breastfeed. This has not been true for me, but I’m not going to stop feeding my son breastmilk just because of the stubborn fat.
I absolutely hate to look in the mirror though. All I see is fat everywhere. My thighs touch almost down to my knees, my stomach is poochy, stretched marked and squishy. My boobs are alright, I’m used to them being huge and they didn’t really get many stretch marks, I already had some from puberty, but I’d never been terribly self-conscious of those.

I wear a size 15. I get upset a lot going clothes shopping (which I don’t really do) because most of the stores I like to shop at, I can’t find my size. I went to the mall with my fiancé for my 19th bday, and I cried because I could not find one pair of pants that fit. I couldn’t even find a bra, because at the time I had shot up to a DD. I still grab shirts that would fit my prepregnancy body when I’m shopping. Sometimes I laugh when I realize my mistake, and sometimes I get very sad. I have absolutely no will to exercise, it never helped me much before. I look back at the body I used to have and I wonder why I was so unhappy with it. I’d love to be a size 5 again. At one point, I fit into a 0, but that’s way too much to ask for lol.

My fiancé is very supportive. He thinks I look just fine. He supports me wanting to lose weight, but I get mad and accuse him of thinking I’m fat when he asks me if I want to exercise or if he suggests buying an array of chocolate bars is not a good idea (I’ve always been a chocoholic).

I don’t believe him when he says I look fine, I’m always putting myself down. Sometimes it gives me a spark of happiness when he says I look good. Because I want to believe that I do. I want to feel like I do. One of my younger sisters asked me how I’m going to fit in a wedding dress if I’m so fat. She also told me I still look pregnant.

I hope that sometime soon I feel good in clothes and out of them. My goal weight is 130lbs by my wedding date, November 12th of this year. I have to be careful about rapid weight loss while breastfeeding though. I hope I can do it.

1st picture: Me in May of ’09
2nd picture: 8 months pregnant
3rd picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
4th picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
5th picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
6th picture: 3 1/2 mos PP
7th picture: My son Ruskin Damian Dodge, 3 1/2mos
8th picture: My son again
9th picture: My beautiful family

Updated here.

My Belly Has Stripes Like a Zebra’s (Stephanie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 2 Comments

Every day I see in the magazines, and on TV all of these women/mothers that are perfect 6 weeks after having a baby (if not sooner) and after reading this site, and everyone’s stories it made me realize, we are taught to think so badly of our stretch marks and our pooches because we don’t see them in the magazines and on TV every day. We see perfection. Well in my eyes, my zebra striped pouch came from something and someone special. I am a single mom, and I DO worry about whether or not the next man I am with will accept me stripes and all. But then I think to myself, if he loves me and wants to be with me, he will accept what I did with my body and what it went through to give my child life. I will never regret that I didn’t drop the weight right away, or that I have stretch marks in some of the most random places. I am happy, and my son is happy, and to me that is all that matters to me.

My Story (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 8 Comments

At 19 I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband) and I were scared and shocked but we knew we wanted our little Angel. I worked for the first 7 months of my pregnancy as a Driver at a plumbing company. This kept my body in great shape and know one could even tell I was pregnant. Then we moved to PA to be with my family. The last two months I did not do much of anything. As a result my weight sky-rocketed from 135 to 179. I got stretch marks everywhere, thighs, belly, calves. Thankfully I have my sides tattoed with a Phoenix. This helped to hide some of the stretch marks. I also, stupidly left my belly ring in. It is not destroyed. I wear an over the top one simply to hide what damage it did from leaving it in. I had my son vaginally and every part of me felt worn out and ugly. I didn’t want my husband to touch me because I just felt disgusting. Thankfully I did not get postpartum depression very bad. The only thing I was unhappy with was the radical changes my body had endured. At 22 now, my son is 2 1/2 and he is healthy and I have struggled with my weight for quite some time. It was hard to get used to the fact that I was never going to look the same again. Finally I accepted it and decided that although my stomach might not be firm like it used to, my breasts will never be perky like they used to, and the stretch marks will always be there, I decided I didn’t care. I decided that I was still beautiful. I started to slowly work out so I could at least feel healthy again. I am now at 129 and I feel wonderful and I feel sexy again. A feeling that I have been missing since my son was born. This site has helped me to realize that I am not the only one with stretch marks as bad as they are, and I am not the only one thats breasts will never stand like they used to and it doesn’t matter because we are all beautiful and we are all mothers. Thank you so much!!!

FYI: White dress is a year before I got pregnant. Red dress is a year after I had my son, at my wedding. The rest are all current as of now since I have been working out a little more.

Pregnancies: 1
Age: 22
Children 2 1/2 yrs old