I am now over 40 with two teenage children. My few stretch marks are silvery line, my tummy is rounded and my breast sag from months of breastfeeding. I love the changes pregnancy has made to my body and am so happy I was lucky enough to experience the joy of motherhood. I loved being preganant but don’t have photos to document it like younger mums have these days, I have my happy memories. Motherhood is not for the faint hearted or vain.
Reader Catherine sent me a link to this short article from UK’s Guardian. More of an advice column, really, it says, You can also look at your body more. A lot of us ignore our bodies. Connect with your body instead, especially when naked. It’s good stuff, this advice. And how true? How many of us put on clothes to try to forget what we look like underneath?
I’ve posted a few links recently about overweight women embracing their bodies, and I want to point out that the advice given applies to each and every one of us with body issues regardless of our BMI. Here are SOAM we are covering relatively new territory (I think!) and so we need to adopt the advice that is out there even if it is aimed only at one specific size of woman. I don’t want anyone here to feel alienated when I post these links or thoughts, because all of it has a message for all of us – just take the bits that you need and leave the rest. You can always come back for more if you need it.
I was reading this article tonight about fat bloggers and came across a link to this pledge. What a beautiful thing! Regardless of your size, if The Shape of a Mother moves you, this pledge likely applies to you. So take the pledge, pass the link on, and then leave a comment here stating one (or more!) positive things about your body. As for me? I love my wrists – they are graceful and delicate-looking. I also love my legs – they are strong and they carry me daily so that I can run after my active kids.
I remember being about eight years old and wearing a new bathing suit, feeling like a glorious mermaid princess, and an adult told me I’d better suck in my stomach. My world came crashing down around me – I was utterly crushed. Princess? No. Ugly. Unworthy. Hated.
And from that moment on, my body became my enemy. One comment. That’s all it took.
I suppose it’s not really that simple, though. I was set up. Even that young, surely I heard all the diet ads on TV or in magazines, heard women around me lamenting their bodies, calling themselves fat. My mother did her best to teach me what a real body was like, and to give me a balanced view of my own body, but it just wasn’t enough.
I passionately feel that we need to and hopefully can stop this cycle with the generation we are bringing up. By learning to love ourselves, we can teach our girls to love themselves, and our sons to know what real women are – inside and out. But how?
Do your children have body issues? How have you handled situations like these? What have you done to prevent body image issues? Do you think it has worked? Write in your own blog your thoughts on the matter and then e-mail me with the message title, “SOAM Collaborative” and include:
1. The link to your entry (not the blog’s homepage, but the specific entry).
2. The title of your entry.
3. Your name or username you like to be referred to online.
I will collect all the links and post them in this entry, and place a link somewhere on the sidebar.
Read these:
Obstructions at the Gate by Helen
At the Public Bath and Letting Go by J Lee
Television, Myself and My Daughter by Ottawa Gardener
The Shape of a Mother by Kathy
The Skin I’m In by Sarah R. Bloom
Body Image by Jamie
Criticize Daughter’s DNA by Tracee Sioux