The Shape of a Mother

This is a picture of my third pregnant belly at 7 months. By far, my biggest baby, my most demanding baby, and also my sweetest baby. My pregnancies were 21 and 22 months apart respectively. I’ve always been a slender and fit person (5′ 8″ tall and 130 lbs) and was lucky enough not to get stretch marks, but I did get a rather generous case of diastasis (separation of the abdominus recti muscles) that I have not been able to resolve despite a very athletic lifestyle. I have chronic abdominal pain and fatigue from holding in my belly, or “engaging the core” as we like to say in my fitness classes. Relaxing it is painful. I have a bulge that is always bigger than my frame and although my third child is 18 months and my bodyfat percentage is 18, I am constantly congratulated on how “cute” I look as a pregnant person. “How far along are you? Four? Five months?” My husband had a vascectomy 17 months ago. I breastfed all three of my children and my former 34B’s are now 36AA’s. And they seem to be located a bit lower than they were previously. But, they just don’t bother me in the same way that my belly does. Truthfully, I love my body. As long as I don’t bend over (abundant pleats), I think I look damn good. However, due to the necessity of a diagnostic laparoscopy (fluid collection of unknown origin in the pelvis) and appendectomy (abnormal positioning, possible inflammatory process), I am looking into having my diastasis repaired at the same time. I didn’t realize this meant a tummy tuck. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I have a constellation of moles on my belly that will be sorely missed. I like my slightly hooded out-ty navel. Quite frankly, its wierd to think about losing part of my body even though it is, at this point, redundant and annoying. I see the plastic surgeon next week for a consultation and for all I know, he may find it completely unnecessary. But, I’m secretly hoping he won’t.

I’ve gained 28lbs and I have 4 weeks to go. This is our first baby, I’m due on my 35th birthday, my husband is also 35, we’ve been together since we were 19. My stomach has remained stretch mark-free up until now, mostly because of genetics but also because I’ve been drinking a gallon of water a day and my weight gain was slow and steady . My breasts have some but so far not too bad, I don’t know what’s going to happen after the milk comes in but I will breastfeed regardless of what shape my breasts will end up in. It’s hard not to worry about what my body will look like after but right now we are at the last month of pregnancy and so excited to meet or little pumpkin (we want the sex to be a surprise). I’m also worried about the c-section scar as my doctor told me that my baby is transverse right now and I may have to have a cesarean if my baby doesn’t move in time. Anyway, here’s one boobie (the other is the same it’s just that this was the clearest cameraphone pic) and here’s a tummy profile.

First time around at 30 years old we lucked out and got twinkies! I had a great pregnancy and emergency c-section but everything was and is great with the kids. We have also been exclusively breastfeeding and loving it! I love being a momma and this site has been a wonderful place to come and share. Thanks everyone for being so brave and sharing! BTW these pictures are from two days before birth – we went 37 weeks!!

With my first, I had an emergency c-section. He was a big baby with a ton of fluid; I was huge (or so I thought.) After he was two months old I realized I would never look the same. I was wrinkly and with a small bulge. Fast forward seven years of ensuring my stomach was covered and a twin pregnancy later. I was truly huge. I had scabs all over my stomach as my stomach grew. I was awesomely large and a force to be reckoned with. They were born via c-section at 39 weeks 4 days. I nursed, rather NURSE them exclusively since they were an hour old. My body has changed and I will never be the same but I have three beautiful, healthy children to THANK for my wondrous body.

Last June our third daughter, Abby Angel, was born and died. One year and two weeks later I gave birth to our fourth daughter, Charlotte Faith. She arrived perfect, healthy, and beautiful and we know that she is Abby’s gift to our family. Her first moments of life outside my body were spent in my arms, with her head resting near the tattoo of Abby’s footprint over my heart. This was my last pregnancy so the belly pictures are so precious to me. I especially love the ones with my husband’s arms around me! These particular belly pictures were taken when I was 38 weeks, just 10 days before Charlotte was born.

(Original entry here.)
(First update here.)

I had my first child at the age of 17. I was approx 8 1/2 stone before pregnancy and weighed in at nearly 12 stone on my last antenatel appointment! I gave birth 3 and half weeks early to a little boy who weighed 7lbs 3ozs. The extra weight that i gained during pregnancy seemed to ‘fall off’ and i was happy with the way i looked after having him. I was 19 when i fell pregnant with my second child and again i was approx 8 and half stone pre pregnancy. I gained about 2 and hlaf stone with this pregnancy and she was born weighing 7lbs 5ozs. Again the weight came off easily and i was happy. I then fell pregnant with my third child at the age of 21. I gained only 2 stone and he was born weighing 7lbs 10ozs. I felt after this pregnancy that the weight was harder to ‘shift’. I concentrated on loosing the weight and after about 5mths i was back to my pre pregnancy weight but was left with a ‘baggy belly’. I was happy with three children as i had 3 under the aged of 4 and it was hard work. I was still managing to work part time aswell as i love my job and it is very important to me to get those 20hours to myself. When i found out i was pregnant with my fourth child it came as quite a shock to both myself and my partner. We worried about the financial side of things and the work load as m youngest was only 9 mths. The pregnancy was the hardest of them all as i continued to work up to being 37 weeks and still had the other 3 to look after. My blood pressure went up towards the end of the pregnancy i was very tired. I weighed just under 8 and half stone pre pregnancy and gained just under 2 stone. I gave birth to another little girl and she weighed 7lbs 10ozs. I was extremly happy as we now had 2 boys and 2 girls! My stomach after birth was the worst it had ever been even though my waist seemed to be there i had a ‘bulge’ in the centre. It took a few weeks to go down and again the weight has dropped off. I now weigh 8 stone 4lbs and i am very happy with my body after giving birth to 4 children. I am not denying that my boobs have not drooped or that i have no stretch marks because i do. I got my stretch marks with my first child on my stomach probably due to the excessive weight gain but none from my other pregnancies. These pictures that i have posted are of me 3mths after giving birth to my fourth child. I have no confidence in my boobs but no other part of my body bothers me. The stretch marks on my belly are precious to me because they show that i have grown four gorgeous healthy children. They are my life and everything i do is for them. I love being a mother and would never change it for the world. I just wish that the people who comment on the amount of children that i have and my age would keep their opinions to themselves. Yes it is hard work but both myself and my partner work to provide for them and i am very happy.

Update

I struggled with my weight all my life. Raised by a single mom who worked two jobs, my diet consisted of mac n’ cheez and Little Debbies. By 19, at 5’3″, I weighed 170 pounds and was pushing into plus sizes. I did the Weight Watchers thing before marrying my high school sweetheart in 2001 at 21. That helped me lose about 35 pounds, but I was still unhappy. When I got pregnant with my first daughter in 2001, I was terrified of what the pregnancy would do to my body. I gained about 30 pounds, back to the weight I was before Weight Watchers, ugh! But something beautiful happened within me during pregnancy and after giving birth. I realized, this body isn’t just for showing off anymore, nor has it ever been. I decided to make changes for my DAUGHTER, not for me. Whatever body image I had, I would pass on to her. Did I want her to live in a relationship of hatred to the body she inhabited, as I had all my life? NO! I immediately began changing the way I thought about myself, the way I judged myself, pulling at wrinkles of fat around my waist in the mirror. Instead, I began loving me. I adopted a vegetarian lifestyle, began working out, STOPPED saying the “F” word (you know which one I mean, the one BAD word women use WAY too much), and began choosing a more positive route, for me and future generations of women. Guess what. Today, after 2 daughters, I weigh … heck, I don’t know!! One step in accepting ME for ME was getting rid of those stupid judgemental scales! What’s more important is – I’m happy with who I am. I do yoga, run, lift weights, haul two kids around in a bike cart. I use my body and my words about my body positively. After all, all I have to do is look at my beautiful daughters and know, my body must be good to do something like that!