I am 24 years old, I have 2 beautiful little girls – a 2 year old and a 6 month old, and I love them with all my heart and soul. However, I am so disgusted and ashamed of my body that I won’t let my husband see me naked. I gained 40 pounds with both pregnancies and lost all the weight plus some 2 months after each. What I am left with is horrible rippling stretch marks, loose dough like stomach skin, saggy breasts and a flat tush! I have always had insecurities, especially about my face – pretty has never been a word I have ever described myself with, and now that my body is ruined too, I just feel so ashamed. My husband calls me beautiful, and I know he’s lying since he watches porn and has always been very critical of other women’s bodies. When we do have sex and I’m not covered, i can’t enjoy it. My doctor told me there is nothing I can do about my skin. So now I need to find a way to cope with my body as it is. It is to the point where I can’t concentrate or have fun with my children because all I think about is how ugly my tummy has become.
If your husband is critical about other women bodies but calls you beautiful, you should listen to him. I’m a guy myself and couldn’t agree more. Honestly, your belly looks amazing for two pregnancies and especially when your little one is only 6 months old, keep up the good work and give it time. I’m sure those stretch marks are barely visible and even then, he calls you beautiful so he doesn’t care especially after you gave him two healthy and beautiful babies. P.S. If he watches porn and it bothers you, you will need to talk to him.
OMG! Okay, first of all, your body is BEAUTIFUL. You do NOT have a flat bottom, in fact you have really nice butt!!! Your stomach is flat and beautiful as seen in your first photo. I would envy your body, many more women have more noticeable stretch marks or even unloseable weight! The fact that you can lose that weight and then some after two kids is amazing. It’s hard, but you should be grateful for your body. Look what it produced! Two amazing new lives. And guess what? Your stretch marks are beautiful. They are the signs of someone who created new life. And that is the most beautiful thing you can do.
I think you look sexy and gorgeous. You should let your husband see you adore you and make love to each other as you always did. I see nothing but beauty in your body and your soul.
I know exactly how you feel. My stomach looks almost exactly the same as yours, except a bit saggier. :( My husband also tells me I’m beautiful and actually likes touching my stomach. I’m still ashamed of it and it’s a struggle every day but to see that there are other women who do look like me and that I’m not alone with this helps me a lot. I hope we, and all women who feel like we do, can get to the point where we love our bodies and what they have done!
You are not ugly! Your stomach looks amazing! I know how hard it is to love your own body, i struggle with that too. Have you talked to your husband about your insecurities? That has always helped me, to have honest conversations with my husband, he always makes me feel loved and beautiful. I agree that if porn bothers you, you should talk to him about it. I will say that just because he watches porn, it doesn’t mean he isn’t attracted to you. You are amazing woman! Bug hugs darlin’.
After 3 daughters in about 4 years, I can tell you that I do understand why you’re feeling the way you do. This is new to you, it’s not the way you used to look. I personally think you look amazing, not for having 2 kids but just amazing in general. My husband used to watch porn all the time so I took that as a slap in the face, like he didn’t find me attractive. It was in no way my fault but I realized that among other reasons he had been viewing porn because I wasn’t open and showing him what he needed/wanted to see. Once YOU start feeling better about yourself what your husband thinks won’t really be a factor in sexual pleasure. What really counts is that you love each other and created a family together. When you love yourself these things won’t matter, you just have to find a way how. Much love beautiful lady.
Your body made two human beings, your gorgeous babies, and it is doing a fantastic job of bouncing back! You look terrific! It’s only been 6 months, trust me it takes some time when it comes to stretch marks but seriously you look great now!! If your husband says you look good, believe him! Don’t be hard on yourself, being a mom is hard work and you should be proud of yourself. Maybe you have issues with your husband and porn to talk about, that’s unrelated in my mind, not something that has anything to do with you. Just a normal conversation that many couples have.
You look great! I would love if my stomach looked like that. Mine is much, much worse than yours. I know that probably doesn’t make you feel better but you look thin, fit, and healthy and you have two beautiful babies. Your body is a beautiful reminder of the miracles you’re capable of.
I understand how you feel, I had my two sons when I was 23 and 24 (almost 10 years ago now!) and felt like overnight I went from having a typical twenty somethings body to a complete mess, looking back now I realise I wasn’t a mess at all but that’s how it felt at the time, it didn’t help when people told me I was lucky I lost the weight so easily because all I could think about was how I’d rather be fat and have no stretch marks because you can loose weight but can’t get rid of stretch marks! My stretch marks are very similar to yours, although they go right through my belly button (which is barely recognisable as a belly button) and a quite a bit more ‘intense’ want to hear the good news? I barely even think about them these days, in fact I’m contemplating wearing a bikini to the beach this summer! How did I get here? Time is a big one, I started looking after my body, really looking after it and cherishing it, not just working out and eating well so I look good, I let all that go and decided to treat myself the way I’d treat someone I love. I guess my point is that you can more forward from this, it will take time, and right now you’re grieving the loss of what your body looked like before kids (I think this is even harder for us younger Mums) but you totally CAN get to a place where you feel good about your body again. Unfortunately my relationship with my boys Dad broke down after ten years but I’m currently seeing a wonderful man who loves my stretch marks, he loves that I’m a mother and how great I am with my sons and we have sex with the lights on ;-)
One last thing, if you feel you can, talk to your husband about how his porn watching makes you feel, explain how insecure you feel right now and how he’s contributing to that, and point out how his negative comments towards other women make you feel, sometimes guys do that thinking it’s what we want to hear but it’s actually incredibly harmful
Much love to you and enjoy your beautiful wee girls xx
You look fantastic! Just because your husband watches porn doesn’t mean he is lying when he says you are beautiful! One does not cancel out the other. Your second is only 6 months and you already look fit, enjoy this time. 10, even 5 years from now you will wonder what all the worry was about. Much Love, namaste!
Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with your body. It’s a beautiful thing. You are a completely normal, amazing mother who has selflessly given her body to grow your children. When your husband tells you you are beautiful listen and believe it. Don’t put yourself down all the time and make the most of what you’ve got. You have to love yourself!
I was researching anal scars for my elderly father and by divine intervention, your blog appeared. I had abusive / unfaithful arranged marriage that ended when I had miscarriage at 12 weeks. I gained 20 lbs and belly now sticks out.
Several things I am trying to build self-esteem and health (our God-given right)
– consider food as a natural medicine. Before you eat something ask, will it nourish my body? I no longer go to restaurants. Still have to lower honey levels (yes honey, not sugar), and salt levels (on veggies)
– Surya Namaskar exercise (https://www.artofliving.org/surya-namaskar-sun-salutation12-poses-leaner-you). 1000 year old series of yoga poses from India. Goal is to do 108 in one sitting (I’m up to 66 and it’s been nearly a year when I started at 3). But when I perform these exercises, I forget about my sadness and marvel at the miraculous machine my body is.
– Join Toastmasters. You will learn self-esteem in no time. You do public speaking in front of friendly people.
As for porn, it is more damaging to your husband than you (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3196809/It-induces-addiction-makes-men-hopeless-bed-discover-porn-affect-BRAIN.html). Once you build your self esteem, more men will be attracted to you and your husband will have to straighten his act
Just like everyone has told you, you are very gorgeous and my husband will nit pick at every female that walks by but he adores my body. Im 22 with 2 kids and i look almost exactly like you and my husband will kiss me up and down and tell me how much of each imperfect area is so perfect to him. He always as me if im beautiful just to make me say it. He had longed for 5 years to hear me mean it when i say i love my body.
Hi,
First of all you ARE beautiful, because your real body is truth. Truth is beauty, beauty = truth. The ubiquitous images we see in all forms of media are false; doctored, photo shopped, etc. They are not true beauty, but rather a deceptive form. In being that they are by nature deceptive, they are not an ideal to aspire to.
Secondly, you have only had a baby six months ago! Your body is still trying to recover and heal, your hormones are all over the place, and you’re probably still sleep deprived! Take it slowly, and please take some time to take care of yourself. Also, you must never use such hurtful words aimed at yourself. I’m so sorry you are suffering so much during this very vulnerable time.
Finally, you have every right to be upset about your husband’s pornography usage. It is not something compatible with a loving, monogamous marriage. It is a form of infidelity, and discussions should be had. However, you must make sure you are being a kind, loving, and attentive wife to your husband as well.
I have five children of my own, and have gone through all you have, so I can in some way understand the pain you are in. I pray that you will come to peace and acceptance.
You look like a MOTHER, don’t be ashamed of that.
“Finally, you have every right to be upset about your husband’s pornography usage. It is not something compatible with a loving, monogamous marriage. It is a form of infidelity, and discussions should be had. However, you must make sure you are being a kind, loving, and attentive wife to your husband as well.”
It’s absurd to state that. It’s always different for different couples – my husband and I both watch porn, sometimes separately, sometimes together. It is certainly compatible with our loving, monogamous marriage!
As for the OP, you look great! I have a genetic condition affecting my collegen that means I get stretch marks very easily (just from thing like growing a few inches in my teens, as well as weight gain/loss, pregnancy etc). The way I try to see it, is that it’s definitely preferable to the alternative – the skin splitting entirely! It’s just what happens when skin needs to stretch quickly, not a wound or defect or problem; a perfectly natural thing. Yours actually look a bit like a shimmery leopard to me (mine are more zebra!). Listen to your husband and trust his opinion about how he feels about you and your body.
Keep up the good work i think you look great! I went through the exact same thing except just one pregnancy, I feel like I am not hot or sexy anymore but my husbands tells me that i am for sure so i let him see me naked I just don’t look at myself naked
I’ve only suffered 2 miscarriages and have no children yet, but I wanted to say your body looks amazing, regardless! I would believe your husband when he says you are beautiful, plus your body is great, I would love to have those kind of curves! I personally think you still have a perky bum, perky chest, and a great belly! Especially for only 6 months PP! Scars will face, and your belly skin will keep healing for a long time to come. But if I were you I would rock those natural curves (I’m straight as a board, and would do anything for breasts like yours.)
Also, your husband watching porn has nothing to do with how beautiful you are (even happily married so-called “perfect” movie stars watch it), and if it makes you feel worse the best thing is communication.
Maybe he can explain why he feels the need, and you can explain how it continues to affect your self-esteem. Sometimes couples even find a halfway point, like watching it a little bit *with* your partner during intimate times works for some, but there’s also no need if that sounds hurtful to your self-worth.
He can look at all the bodies he wants to, but remember he is your husband and at the end of the day he wants to be with you, the woman who grew and carried (and cares for) his child.
And maybe it’s just me *wink*, but i bet if you let your hubby see you naked with all your glorious, beautifully sexy curves and incredible strength, he may not feel the need to see other women’s bodies through porn.
Either way I envy your body, it looks amazing and is a testament to the amazing things you and your body have done. (You created a perfect little human, and are very much still healing! I would definitely wait before declaring anything “ruined.”)
Hi I just wanted to say I was In the same situation as you where I felt disgusted with my body and couldn’t let anyone see my tummy with all the stretch marks and lose skin. I also have have 2 children now 10 and 13 years old and I am now pregnant with my third. I have been a personal trainer for over 5 years and only through weight training have I noticed how tight and toned my skin has become! It does work! squats, lunges and other exercises will lift your bum and give you a rounder, firmer bum. Training will not only help you tighten and tone your body but you’ll feel much better too! If you look at my website http://www.121ptstudio.com you can see me when I had just given birth and pictures of me now.
Honestly, this was my only way to get out of feeing depressed about my body and it make me feel confident. I now wear a bikini which I never dreamed of ever doing after becoming pregnant. I now do not care what other people think or say because I feel better in my skin.
I hope you feel better and know you are beautiful, your body is beautiful and you will overcome this feeling. Start taking care of you and x