So Many Scars (Audrey)

I’m finally healing on the inside as well as out. I am 18.5 months postpartum. My daughter Shannon was born via cesarean after 46 hours of labor and it was quite the blow for me. She also had an unknown birth defect (omphalocele) that required surgery the day after her birth. I didn’t hold my daughter until two days after she was born.

My journey to motherhood has been painful and my ability to bond with my daughter was severely crippled due to the trauma of the c/s and the following surgery and NICU stay. I finally feel I am beginning to heal from that. Part of it is forgiving my body and learning to accept the physical changes. I recently lost 20 pounds and am finally beginning to accept myself as I am. As I look at these pictures, I see so many scars that each have a story. I myself had surgery as a baby and I still have the scars from that and the feeding tube. It’s an additional link of commonality with my daughter. The stretch marks and especially the c/s scar are barely noticeable these days.

Ignore the bruise – I have taken up hoop dancing as part of my journey to accept myself.

My daughter is the sweetest little girl I could ever imagine. I am so blessed to have her and I treasure every moment. Although I would change the experience of her birth if I could, it IS still worth it. I can finally say that.

The first five pictures are me currently. The 6th is my daughter and the 7th is my belly at 35 weeks.

6 thoughts on “So Many Scars (Audrey)

  • Wednesday, December 29, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    Wow! You have a really cute body! And your little girl is so adorable – and healthy! Thank God she survived the ompahalocele incident – that’s so scary! I hope you can learn to accept your body. You are extremely gorgeous!

  • Wednesday, December 29, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Your daughter is adorable! I didn’t get to hold my firs till he was almost 2 weeks old…he also had surgeries, and a 1 month stay in the NICU. You look amazing. Do you use a weighted hula hoop? I have a 3 pound one…does it work? I barely use mine, but I will if it works :)

  • Saturday, January 1, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    you look great… you’re tummy is so flat and your baby is adorable

  • Sunday, January 30, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    You look great – daughter is adorable!

  • Thursday, August 4, 2011 at 11:36 am

    Wow, you’ve made fast progress. Good for you. On my scars I used Scarguard, by the way, it worked wonders.

  • Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    You look fantastic and your daughter is adorable!I also have scars from previous surgeries (non-cesarean), one running the length of my stomach, and a indented scar like yours from a feeding tube. My kids have lovingly dubbed it my “second belly button”, lol.

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