I used to hate my stomach. I’ve always struggled with body image issues. Even photos like this :


I would hesitate to allow people to see. Now, it makes me sad to think that I would ever see anything wrong with that body.

My first baby was 9lbs 5oz and 22″ long. At 28w I could easily pass as not being pregnant. It was very odd, and frustrating that people would shrug me off…I had a friend who was 4w behind me and people in public would come over and ask her questions and rub her belly, and I was left ignored.

Me, at 22.5w :

Those are the pictures I treasure the most though, because while i’m still trying to accept the new stomach and body my son left me with, the smooth unlined skin barely ripe with pregnancy seem all the more beautiful.

Around 32w I went from 0-60 overnight, and stretchmarks appeared and spread like wildfire. By the end of the pregnancy, they went all the way up to my ribs.

40w :

(and yes, that is the top of my ribs, I have a freakishly short torso)

The one change I couldn’t bear to document was the horror under my shirts. I started off as a 34DDD pre-baby. I’ve always been busty. By the time my son was born, my 36J was too small for several weeks. I stuck around a 36H for several months. I was terrified to look in the mirror naked. I would have to get dressed before walking anywhere near a mirror!

I did however take one somewhat-nude photo of myself, I believe around 27w pregnant. my boobs are already getting out of hand, literally!


I can’t help but love them, for I breastfed my son for 2 years, and ended up throwing away enough breastmilk to feed a hungry baby for 2 months, easy…
I couldn’t find anyone to take the surplus!

The stretchmarks are almost invisible head-on, they are silvery white now…just the lovely color of my skintone ;)

However, the light picks them up easily…as they do in this photo :


My son is 2.5yrs old now, and i’m 20w pregnant with my second baby in this photo.

The stretchmarks are very visable in the photo for some reason, the lighting I suppose.

I keep seeing mothers who bounce back and look like a supermodel after 2 babies even…And I cant help but cry “why can’t I be lucky enough to have that?”

But I know I’d never trade my son for anything in the world. He’s worth every stretchmark, and all the scary 36J bras in my closet right now :)

8 thoughts on “Shan

  • Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 8:15 pm

    You look GREAT!And, to be honest with ya, if I had your boobs, I’d be huggin them too! They’re gorgeous!

  • Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 10:12 pm

    Isn’t that the truth… I look at photos of myself when I was younger and think “what the heck was I thinking!?” (I was fat/unattractive or whatever). I guess we should all learn to appreciate what we have TODAY.

  • Friday, July 21, 2006 at 12:05 am

    you look amazing! :)

  • Friday, July 21, 2006 at 1:20 am

    Good story. I cant believe your boobs got that big you look so small in frame.And that is unreal how tiny you were at like 22 weeks. WOW is all I can dont look bad at all though.Your son is really cute :-)I’m 22, 17.4 weeks pregnant w/ our 2nd. My son isnt 2 year… but Aug. 31st he will be.Its such a joyAnd dont let the celebs being in bikinis weeks after giving birth. its not reality… and maybe theres a reason God gave you those .I know he gave them to me to teach me that life is not about looks… and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made… stretch marks or not!

  • Friday, July 21, 2006 at 6:47 am

    you sound like such an awesome person! Your body is beautiful, and congrats on breastfeeding your son for so long!!

  • Friday, July 21, 2006 at 9:04 am

    Ahh…the boobs. Familiar subject for me. Bane of my existence. In high school I was a 36C, and every year since then I’ve had to buy bigger bras. I’m 30, so do the math. When I was breastfeeding I was spilling out of a 40G because I refused to buy anything bigger. Now I can get away with Lane Bryant stretch cotton bras in 42DDD, but no underwires (ouch!).You look amazing! I’d be struttin’ my stuff if I were you!

  • Saturday, July 22, 2006 at 7:49 am

    You look great and congrats on the pregnancy! The joys of being a mom really outweigh the other stuff.Not to sound too imposing, but there are places where you can donate breast milk, it depends on where you live though. If you are in the US there are more locations. Check out and

  • Friday, July 28, 2006 at 7:33 am

    wow, thanks you guys! this totally made my day :)And stacey, I am aware of milk banks, but I am considered “borderline anemic” and was on antidepressants for a short time as well, both of which disqualified me from donating! Obviously, my 20lb 4m old baby was suffering! ;)

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