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My Miracle (Anonymous)

My pregnancy was the first time in my entire life that I was comfortable with my body. We battled infertility and won; through IVF we were blessed in seeing our dreams become a reality. Before I began infertility treatments, I was a slim 130 lbs on a 5’11” frame. Due to hormone therapy I gained 10 lbs and my stomach began to resemble a balloon. It wasn’t fun looking pregnant while I was trying so hard to get pregnant. But finally our miracle happened and there WAS a child inside of me. Although my pregnancy wasn’t easy – I relished every moment of it. I LOVED the way my body changed and grew. I never stopped rubbing my belly, in complete awe of what was taking place. I went into pre-term labor at 27wks and was placed on bed rest for the next two months. At 35 wks, our precious 7lb.3oz. son was born. I was very fortunate to only have one stretch mark on my breast. However, my body is MUCH different in other respects. I have veins that wind themselves all around my hips that weren’t visible before my pregnancy. My breasts show much evidence of the seven wonderful months I was fortunate enough to breastfeed. My waist, which was very small pre-pregnancy – isn’t much of a “waist” anymore. There is an incredible difference in my stomach now, and I struggle with acceptance. I accumulate so much guilt over this issue. I dreamed and prayed and hoped for my child. Yet, I often look at my post-partum body with reproach. Four years later, I am learning to love my body for what it is and what it has accomplished. When I look down at the rolls on my stomach, I try hard to remind myself of the miracle that happened inside of it. I would like to thank you for what you have done with this site. You have given a voice to all of us who question our ability to love our post-partum bodies. I love my precious son with all my heart. And each day I learn to love my body for giving life to him. I have included pictures of myself 7mths pregnant, 2 yrs & 4 yrs post-partum.





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6 comments… add one
  • Deborah Friday, June 1, 2007, 4:21 pm

    Your belly resembles mine: when looking at side views, a line can be drawn straight down where we wish our bellies would be, but there is a bit extra on the other side of the line. I am wondering, can we erase that? Sure, we can photoshop it, but I mean for real? I am working VERY hard on weight loss and exercises to burn the fat and strengthen my muscles, but this is a VERY stubborn area on me, too. Do you think we will succeed if we work hard enough: can we erase that bit of extra on the other side of the perfectly straight line? What do you think? My pics haven’t made it up yet, but when they do you will see what I mean. I constantly outline where I WANT my belly to be and try very hard to get it there! But not much luck yet! I DO see some improvement, though. I just keep thinking, keep going and don’t give up and it will FINALLY pay off! We don’t seem to have extra skin as much as just a bit of belly fat…that is why it seems that it IS possible to eventually burn it off and not have to resort to surgery. I guess I am not accepting my bit of extra very well…but I am trying to get rid of it instead of accept it. I would LOVE to be successful in reaching this goal because I am trying SO hard!

  • eBirdie Saturday, June 2, 2007, 12:58 pm

    Beautiful. Nothing at all reproachful there.

  • Linda Wednesday, June 6, 2007, 10:57 am

    Seeing your pictures and reading your thoughts really sends home to me how psychological these issues really are. You’ve heard of body image distortion? I’m sure most of us have been affected by it, including myself. *I* look at your body and see health and sensuous curves. That’s a body I can picture giving and receiving great pleasure. Such a shame that any time is wasted at all fretting over perceived flaws.

    Hugs to you.

  • Diva Monday, June 18, 2007, 3:57 am

    You look great!!! I could only wish my tummy looked like yours, it’s beautiful and just a nice amount of curve. Be kind to yourself!

  • Sarah Tuesday, July 17, 2007, 5:50 pm

    You look fantastic! Your body is so small! Lucky you!! :) I agree…every stretchmark and bit of flab is worth the miracles that we witness every day!

  • Yolanda Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 1:38 pm

    omg! im 31 weeks preg. and ur belly looked exactly like mine. i havent seen ne one elses belly be flat in the front like that.

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