My Body After 4 Kids (Anonymous)

I’ll be 25 at the end of July, I have had 4 kids. While in high school I struggled with body issues and my weight. I had a tummy, I would always get comments from people thinking I was at least 3 months pregnant, its something the women in our family is cursed with. I maintained a steady 125lbs until my senior year when I dropped to 118 right before becomming pregnant. I could never wear body hugging shirts, the pregnant comments got to me, I was ashamed of my body. I wore a size 7. A friend of mine got pregnant in high school, I remember her staying the night one night with her son, he was almost a year old. We stood in front of my mirror brushing each other’s hair when she said she wanted to show me something. She lifted up her shirt and her belly looked like a road map and all floppy and saggy. She was so tiny before getting pregnant and I remember asking her how she could stand her belly looking like that. she told me “I love my belly, it held my son, I have never felt more beautiful.” It struck me as odd and it would be years before I actually understood her comment. My first wasn’t so bad. I gained 14lbs, losing weight in the first trimester, not by choice. While sitting, people never even noticed I was pregnant even days before I had my daughter, people that didn’t know would come to the house and when I finally stood up, their jaw would drop to the floor! lol I lost all weight by the time my daughter was 3 months old. Throughout the pregnancy though I was ashamed of my pregnant body, I would hide it the best I could. I was young and didn’t quite understand what was happening to me. I got pregnant with my second one when my first was only 9 months old. With this pregnancy I was more liberated, I felt great, I loved my body, I was in awe of the changes that were going on. I found it amazing that my body could hold a child and transform like it was. At the end, I felt huge, though again I only gained 14lbs. I showed off my body, refusing to waste money on maternity clothes, I wore my regular things, belly hanging out for all the world to see. I was amazed at the comments I got, only one person ever voice his disgust at me showing off my belly. I was proud of it, proud of my body, why shouldn’t I? Women would stop me in the store to tell me how great I looked and that they wished they were that secure with their body to show off like that while pregnant and that they admire me for doing so. I got countless comments like “I LOVE pregnant bellies, they are SO beautiful!” I wore my belly with pride (or maybe it wore me with pride…lol). I wish I would of thought to take pictures of that time, I never felt better in my life, never felt so free from previous body delusions. The weight came off by my 6 week check-up, my friend went with me and I remember her telling me how jealous she was. I went on depo and gained weight though shortly afterwards, again I struggled with hating my body. How could it look so beautiful yet so ugly? I began to hide in baggy clothes, I was no longer pregnant, no reason to flaunt my tummy. I was a size 9. With my third I hid again, pregnant with her just days after my son turned a year old, ashamed at being pregnant when it wasn’t a good time, my husband was cheating on me, I wanted a divorce. I gained more weight with her though she was my smallest baby. Afterwards I was 144lbs and a size 13, the biggest I had ever been not pregnant. 6 months later I managed to get back down to 130 and a size 9 or 11, depending on the clothing brand, though I struggled with body delusions again. I was out in the dating world again, who would find me attractive, especially if my husband felt the need to look elsewhere. I thought it was my fault, if he didn’t want to touch me, who would? Before I got pregnant with our third one he would make comments like ‘Why don’t you lose some weight, you look horrible.” I managed to meet a really great guy. Before me he never dated women with imperfect bodies, I’ve seem pictures of his exes, all tall and look to be a size 0! I felt I could never measure up. He loved my body though (still does and tells me all the time!). I got pregnant yet again, and I hid my body again. Embarrassed at being pregnant for a 4th time and only 23 years old, I was afraid at how others would view me, especially since I was still married and the baby wasn’t my husbands (I am just now divorced this month after fighting with him for almost 3 years, he wouldn’t let go, who would clean up after him?). I hid it the best I could. The pregnant pics are from my 4th baby, I had him at the end of June 2006. My boyfriend was in awe of my ever growing belly. He took countless pictures, loving every change he could detect, me husband never did that, he always looked scared to see my belly. It was great, though I couldn’t get past how people would view my “morals” I wish i wouldn’t of put so much into what I thought others would think, wish I would of celebrated my body again. Today my youngest son is 10 months old. The father and I are getting married next April (would you give up a guy who loved you, imperfect belly and all? lol) I am currently 160lbs, at the absolute largest I have ever been not pregnant. A size 13 again. I have come to terms with my body, I hate it, yet I love it. It has been through alot, carried 4 babies and has the stretch marks to prove it! I love my stretch marks, always have, even with my first child. I will never have a “perfect” body, but I will always have my body. There are days I still have problems with, days when I curse my body. I get comments like “When are you due?” or “I didn’t know you are pregnant again!” I want to strangle them! Those are the days when I’ll eat almost everything in the house, giving up on ever seeing a resemblance of my body pre kids. Then there are days when I love my body for all that its done.

11 thoughts on “My Body After 4 Kids (Anonymous)

  • Wednesday, May 9, 2007 at 10:36 am

    I think you look amazing for having 4 babies!!! And congrates on the wedding, you are very blessed!!!

  • Wednesday, May 9, 2007 at 12:11 pm

    I think its absolutely amazing having your 4 children under 25
    ! Not a lot of women could handle that especially with a divorce but it sounds like you’ve done well. And congrats on your new marriage! I think you look beautiful and I also have gotten the “are you pregnant?” comments and they do hurt but don’t take them to heart – you look great!

  • Wednesday, May 9, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    I think you look great after 4 babies. People think that the younger you are , the easier it will be to “bounce back”, but that is simply not true….I was young when I had my baby too. I hope you find a new happiness with your future husband. People are always going to judge, I am not married to the father of my child either. When people found out i was pregnant they kept asking when we were going to get married, assuming that you have to be married to have a child. I don’t let rude and ignorant comments bother me. As long as you are providing a loving and nurturing environment for your children, then that’s all that matters. I think your body looks great….and don’t listen to anyone who suggests otherwise.

  • Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 8:02 am

    I have also had people ask when I am due. It does hurt your feelings. I just try to ignore them. I am glad you found a wonderful husband who loves you unconditionally!

  • Monday, May 28, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    just found out yesterday that i am pregnant with baby number 4. I am also struggling with the weight issues and not having my pre pregnancy body back. I get discouraged all the time wondering how fat i’ll be after this one. I gained over 50 pounds each pregnancy and never lost even a quarter of the weight gained but knowing that i get to bring a new life into this world puts my weight issue on the back burner. You can be a loving mother and wife and not have the barbie body. Love your children, life and most of all yourself. Best of luck to you.

  • Wednesday, July 4, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    Wow. I agree with the others. Congrats and thanks for sharing!

  • Tuesday, December 4, 2007 at 2:03 am

    I look like that at age 32, and I haven’t even had any kids, though I am desperate to be a mother. I consider you very, very lucky.

  • Thursday, February 14, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    Hi, Im a 32 year old single mom of 4 kids, and have the same body as yours!! I have for years struggled with my self esteem, and actually just very recently had a guy dump me because of my belly. I still have a hard time with my body, but since my kids love me for who I am, too bad for everyone else who doesnt! You look amazing, and I am proud to have alot in common with you! :)

  • Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    well its been a while since you wrote this, but i am 22 and pregnant with my 4th baby. due in march of 2009.

  • Saturday, April 25, 2009 at 12:58 am

    Hey ladies, i too am a mum with 4 kids. Finding myself single after 16yrs wasn’t hard at 1st as i had no desire to ever be with another man again! now 3.5yrs later i’m more than ready to start dating, but my big, fat saggy belly is the only thing stopping me. It wasn’t a issue with the ex, it was his beautiful kids that got me this way. i’ve met guys online but back away from the real thing. I love myself but just not sure a new man will. I’m more worried what the rejection could do than being alone.

  • Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    i to have just had my 4th child, he s 8 wks now absolutely beautiful as all the kids are.
    Im doing strengthening excercises every day, trying to regain some kind of shape and not be so tired.
    Its these love handles im at war with, from the front I look on way then from the rear another oh the miracle of chilbirth! It s something although men can appreciate and observe will never understand the physical endurance. Although they do get a mental endurance with our hormones lol….
    I ve found that certain excercises work better than others mainly stomach focused and bum focused as the legs seem to take a hammering… I kinda look like i’ve got dimply skin, Im sure this is because I put on near 2 stone in weight…

    Glad Im not alone,,, for those who are self concious try a 4 week diet plan uk GMTV bikini diet is on the web is working wonders for me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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