Hello beautiful mommys! I found this site because I wanted to find ladies just like me. Mother’s who went through a lot physically and mentally. Woman whose bodies changed. I’m really just here to inspire some of you mama’s out there. Give you a little bit of motivation, encouragement. Here is my story. I am 21 years old and have 2 baby girls. The oldest is 2 and the youngest is 5 months. I have always been a very fit and athletic gal but during both my pregnancies I haven’t worked out or did anythjng. Tho I gained about 30 lbs e ch pregnancy my stomach has been stretched to the max and back 2 times!!! I was always self conscious about my stretch marks and body after my babies but i knew I wanted to do something about it instead of complain and weep about it. I started a new diet and workout regimen for myself and I absolutely feel better and sexier. I realized I can have stretch marks but i would rather be in shape and proud of my mommy belly. My belly was home for my girls and I wouldnt Change that for the world. I worked my ass off and hard work pays off! Though I am yet where I want to be I am proud how far I got. And I know if you open up your heart and mind you can do anything you want. Anything is ever so possible and you will become the happy healthy proud mommy for you and your kids. Just never give up hope and never settle for less ;) every mama is beautiful and the human body is truely an incredible thing. It really will amaze you on what the body can accomplish and do! If I can do it so can you just takes time, practice and patience. Whats your excuse? :)
I have always been extremely fit and I was with you until “whats your excuse”. It sounds so judgemental. When my baby was 5 months, I worked 12-14 hr shifts. Now in that time when would you have worked out? I have calmed down in working but still work 9 hour shifts. With work, keeping up my house and a 1 yr old, when would you say should work out? I still find time to work out but it is at a price. It means I don’t get to spend that time with my child when I already am away for 9 hrs a day (at will job, no lunch breaks to go work out). No excuse needed to spend more time with your child instead of working out.
Good on you for working so hard.
Honestly? My excuse? I don’t have to justify myself for looking like a mother. I thought this website was called “The Shape of A Mother” and I came here for some reassurance about my belly still being big 7 months after having a baby and yours is the only post I can see.
And good on you and everything for working hard, that is great.
But I am 36 years old. Love, I’m 15 years older than you, and that makes a hell of a difference.
When I was in my teens and twenties, I could lose weight in the blink of an eye. Now it just doesn’t seem to shift, even when I do the exact same things as I did last time.
I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old who doesn’t sleep. I’m studying for the 4 hours every day that they aren’t awake to complete my medical specialist training. In a couple of months I will go back to working 10+ hour days, 5 or 5 days a week.
My body is so broken after two medically dangerous pregnancies that I’m needing weekly physio and pilates so that I can start to move normally again. I certainly can’t do heavy exercise.
So what is my excuse? I don’t need an excuse for aging normally, thank-you very much.
I appreciate that you worked hard. But some of us have other priorities and needs in life that come first. We shouldn’t have to justify that, particularly in this space!
I think you look amazing! With that being said, please watch the way that you word things. I am a 28 year old mother to 2 girls. My stomach like yours was stretched to the limits and hasn’t been the same since. I would kill to have a body like yours. but it just isn’t going to happen. no matter how much I exercise it just wont. My body is completly different from yours. And to add at the end what is your excuse is very condensending and offensive to women who are trying to lose the weight and find motivation here.
Hey, awesome job. That’s great you took the time to work on yourself. Guess what? I’m exhausted with 2 kids. 2 y.o. and 1 y.o. I have washboard abs too. No excuses here. I hate how most of the time the girls that post pictures like yours get negative comments. Exactly why I will probably never post any pics. Yes, it’s true, people that look like here get bashed. Let’s get real here, some people will make the effort to work out and eat well no matter how busy, tired, or sick they are and some won’t.
You look great! I am 28 and a mother of 3. I won’t look like you (I am crazy covered in stretch marks!), but that’s ok. I am 18 months pp with my 3rd and still have 20 pounds to lose (which is my fault since I am not eating well or exercising these days). I won’t lie, I am jealous of your figure! That being said, I don’t think you said anything rude. “What’s your excuse” is a common motivational saying. I don’t fin it motivational, but you still meant nothing by it. The other ladies on this site should realize that and cut you some slack. Congrats on you motivation and babies :)
A. Clearly this girl who wrote the story is a sweetheart. Look how she began her story.
B. Saying “what’s your excuse?” isn’t rude. It’s a simple question. Maybe it forces you to assess your life and you don’t like doing that because you are not satisfied with your life…? So you blame her for being rude.
C. If you don’t have time to take care of your body (exercising and eating right) then stop having so many babies! And stop spending so much money if it forces you to work so many hours! Obviously a lot of you have your priorities out of whack. Not having “the time” to look after yourself is just messed up. What good are you to your kids if you aren’t even caring for your self?
D. INVOLVE your kids in your exercise! There are ways to do that! Chase them around at the park! Do some yoga while they play nearby! Anything is better than nothing!
And lastly, quit getting snippy to someone who has her priorities straight, because she looks great and probably feels even better! Nothing wrong with a mom taking time to care for herself! She will inspire her children greatly :)
Lucy, you are the only rude on on this page. Who are you to say “then stop having so many babies!”? Some comments should just not be posted, and yours is one of them.
We’ll let Bonnie decide that Shannon. Peace.
I just think maybe she meant “I am really pushing to be happy and healthy and it is super hard… but I can do it and so can you!” I think if you read the context she really isn’t accusing anyone or holding herself up as better than anyone else. She is only 21, I think we need to read these stories for their tone and not try to hone in on poor phrasing. If you want to be mad at a young woman who might have slipped up in how she put things, I’ll send you my first few (hundred) college essays on feminism. Much, much worse than “what’s your excuse.”
You know what, I apologize. I could have worded that better. I wrote my initial comment out of frustration. Sometimes I feel like us “skinny” or “fit” girls get a lot of hate and I feel like it stems from other women’s jealousy or insecurity. I feel like this some of the people who read this story took it out of context and it aggravated me. Because she really wasn’t being rude, not even a little bit. She is trying to inspire and it’s upsetting that some of the readers twisted it the wrong way.
It’s not my right to say how many babies someone should or should not have.
But it’s not fair to have kids that you don’t actually have the time for. I am a mother of an only child and it’s going to stay that way, otherwise I will lose control of my life and my health and I like being able to have time for my daughter’s needs and my own.
All that said, all mothers are beautiful and let’s work on uplifting one another and not taking beautiful stories like these out of context. If you have a problem with the way things are worded, maybe think twice about the message instead of taking it like a personal attack.
I tend to not respond much because I don’t want it to seems like SOAM takes any one particular stance. All mamas are welcome here. Absolutely.
That said, I do think that in an online environment where we can communicate only via words (and not through facial expression or tone of voice) we need to be very careful how we word things. I do believe that the original mama here was trying to inspire with her “what’s your excuse”. Some people find that phrase motivational and it works for them which is awesome. But others find it very triggering because they struggle with situations or circumstances which are, simply, not excuses. It makes them feel defensive and hurt.
As women and mothers we need to stand together and the ONLY way we can do that is by listening. If one mama says she has two work two jobs another mama should not tell her why that is her mistake, but just trust that she is living her life the best way she can. If another mama says she worked really really hard and can’t lose weight, she, too, should be trusted to know her body. It really isn’t anyone’s business any more than to listen and support her. Some people might not be living to their full potential, but you CANNOT KNOW that via one comment online and most people are speaking their personal truths here. Just listen. That’s all we have to do as women to support each other.
So I personally take care to not use phrases that could be seen as triggering so as not to alienate anyone.
We are all trying our best in life. We all have our struggles. And we all have our priorities and they may be different for different people and THAT IS OKAY. You are awesome women, mamas. Love you all.
Yeah, she looks great. Well done.
I wish I could look as good as you by diet and exercise. You look fantastic. (No sarcasm.)
We are all different and lead different lives. Let’s celebrate this. I’m sorry my first post was offensive in its defensiveness.
Hey Lucy guess what? I had twins. Not everything in life is easily controlled. How exactly does one determine whether one has enough time for one kid, or two or three or more? If I have to go out to work and place my child in the care of others while I do that, then does that mean that I don’t have time for my kid and shouldn’t have had her? Because by that definition there are an awful lot of people out there who shouldn’t have had children. That’s great that you know yourself and you know you only have the time, space and energy in your life to take care of one child. Other people don’t feel the same way you do, and that’s great too. You might also consider that until you go ahead and have that second or third or fourth child, you don’t really know what it’s going to be like. You might think that you do, just as you might have ideas about what it’ll be like becoming a parent the first time around, but actually you really don’t. You just have to trust that you’ll be able to do a good job no matter what life throws at you, and sometimes things happen that you really didn’t expect and can’t control.
Wow, i really think she was trying to be encouraging… like if i can do it you can do it. Why are we so quick to feel judged ?
Anyway, I want to thank you for making me believe( and see) That i can be damn sexy, stretch marks and all.xxx
There’s a lot of societal pressure to look a certain way and meet the ideal prescription of body type, weight, etc. But let’s be real. A majority of us aren’t going to fit the bill. But what if we were to flip the script and change the bill? What if we adopted a now philosophy according to which we didn’t have to work hard and spend 10+ hours in a gym to attain the tight little physique that makes men look twice and catcall from construction sites? What if instead, we made brownies with our kids and actually ate them? What if we were to maintain a healthy weight – which doesn’t often make you exempt from having bumps here and lumps there. What if we were okay with that? People come in all shapes and sizes – a cliché, I know. But on an even deeper and conscious level, our minds process things differently. I believe in movement and exercise. I believe that everyone incorporate activity into their lives to be healthy – whether this means, spending time in the gym, chasing your kids around, or simply walking in the park for a half an hour a day. It’s okay for moms to be happy being healthy whether our asses are so tight you could bounce a quarter off of them or not. As a relatively advanced, thinking, yet diverse species, all of our priorities and interests aren’t the same. If you enjoy working out and want to make that a major focus of your life then do it! But if you want to write a book, or learn to cook, or enjoy life in other ways, you should absolutely do that too and feel comfortable in doing it. Please respect and understand that while Motivation Anonymous’ aspirations are commendable and applause worthy, so are those of the slightly portly moms who prefer knitting over bicep curls.
My excuse is having my ab muscles torn apart so badly from 2 pregnancy that both my fists disappear into my stomach when I lay down so all of my internal organs hang out when I stand up and exercise will not fix it I require a pretty horrific operation.
This is a great story! You are a very inspiring woman and you look amazing. I hope that all the other women can understand that the saying “what’s your excuse” is just a motivational phrase among the health and fitness community. My husband competes in CrossFit competitions around the U.S. and they say this all the time. We all have excuses….time, money, work, pain, illness, etc., this questions is simply meant to make you think. Yea, what is my excuse? What can I do to get healthy and feel better about myself? She even put a smily face after it. I truly don’t believe she meant in any way for it to be rude. Let’s all keep encouraging each other and not be so defensive :)
I think most of the people who’ve responded here know that “What’s your excuse” is a thing said in the fitness community to attempt to inspire others. But I think that people are trying to express the fact that it’s a problematic statement. It asks *everyone* to take stock of their excuses, but the fact is that for some people it isn’t an *excuse* but a REASON. When someone literally cannot overcome one or more factors to accomplish something that someone asks of her, she feels like she is unheard or invisible. Being defensive is a legitimate response to being erased.
Basically, I think the phrase should be reconsidered, or at the very least, used with people who want to hear it as opposed to using it and assuming everyone wants to hear it. It is not motivational to ALL people, therefore it is divisive.
That’s the basic gist of this conversation. :)
wow such an inspo, thanks for sharing it takes alot of courage no matter what your body looks like and as for all the haters , tough they made choices in life that lead them to their current situation :)