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First and Possibly Only Child (Anonymous)

This is my story: When I found out last year I was pregnant I was petrified! I had no clue what I was going to do and to top it all off the father whom I had been seeing for almost a year decided he wanted nothing to do with our child and wanted me to have an abortion. Luckily I have the most wonderfull family in the world. I made the decision to go thru with this without him but with the support of my entire family. Most of the pregnancy went fine. A few bumps in the road but everything was great. I didn’t really enjoy being pregnant physically. I loved knowing what was growing inside me but hated the physical pain that was comming with it. Unfortunatly I wasn’t one of the lucky ones who was saved from stretch marks. They in my opinion were horrible!! Two days before my due date they decided to induce my labor. I had been having pain in my stomach and hadn’t been able to keep much food down. They couldn’t seem to find the problem so they decided they wanted to get him out. They started inducing me at 8 am on a thursday morning. All day long i was slowly progressing but with terrible pains and bleeding too. They told me this was normal. That night, they insisted I take some sleeping medication to get some rest for the next day. So I did and actually had a couple of doses during the night. The next morning at about 6 am they woke me up to check my progression. They told me I was a little more than 6 centimeters and I could have an epideral. So around 6:20 the guy came in the give me the epideral. That wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared. I turned to lay back down and in doing so my water broke. Good news! Well bad news it was full of blood. They didn’t seem to concerned about this. While laying in the bed I was feeling pretty good. Feeling no pain at all. Then all of a sudden the entire hospital was in my room. Everyone was yelling at me to breath. They had put an oxygen mask over my face because I had stopped breathing. My son had “fallen off the monitor” and they couldn’t get him back. Before I knew It they were rushing me down the hall into another room. I had no idea what was happening. The last thing I remember is someone pinching me and asking If I could feel it. I told them yes and they they yelled “Put her out”. A few hours later I woke up and my family was standing around me looking like they just finished crying. I asked my mom what happened and was he ok? She said yes and I had to have a “crash c-section”. She said that my placenta had seperated and my sons heart had stopped beating and I had stopped breathing and was bleeding to death. I still wasn’t really understanding what had happened because of all the drugs in my system. Just to give you an idea how fast everything happened.. I had the epideral at 6:20 am and at 6:52 am my son was born. Finally at 11:30 am I was able to see and hold him for the first time. I love my son with everything in me but I can’t help feeling like I was cheated. I wanted to have him naturally and be able to hold him when he first came out. Instead all i’m left with is a horrible scar (vertical incision) and nasty stretch marks. I feel terrible for saying that. I just really hate the way I look now. But, I am thankfull to God that my son is alive and doing wonderfull. He didn’t even have to go to NICU. He stayed with me the entire time. I am so amazed with him every day. I know that I will eventually be ok with my body, but there’s part of me that wonders who would ever want someone with a child and a stomach that looks like mine. Well its been 3 months now. My son is amazing!! I never knew I could love someone so much. I absolutley love being a mom.





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9 comments… add one
  • Sarah Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 12:31 pm

    Wow! Your story is so inspirational! I’m so glad to hear that you both lived! Don’t feel cheated… you could have–SHOULD HAVE–died in all honesty. You were not cheated. You were blessed… with life. Two times the life. Yours and his. God protected you that day and you will be blessed.

  • Audrey Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 3:01 pm

    I’ve had a hard time coming to accept my own ‘baby tummy.’ But the thing is…your body gave life to a precious little boy and therefore, your body is beautiful!

  • Kate Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 3:43 pm

    Your story brought me to tears. God is so incredible! He saved both of your lives that day! You look GREAT! Your scar will go away in no time. You are only 3 months pp and you look awesome! Dont get down on yourself. And trust me, guys are not that shallow. If they love you and love your son, you have nothing to worry about. My husband has a scar from an appendectomy that is bigger than yours and I dont love him any less. In fact, yours is a survival scar! It is the proof that you and your son were saved! If it really bothers you, maybe think about getting a tattoo on it with a significant meaning. God bless!

  • Pricilla Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 8:39 pm

    Don’t dislike your body. It looks different than before, sure, but every line meant that your beautiful boy grew healthy. And I have a C-section scar. It’s faded so much. The skin feels different, but it’s incredibly light colored. Just a very faint pink. I bet yours will too. :]

  • Alana Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 10:36 pm

    Yes, it sucks it had to happen this way for you. Thankfully you both are ok. Your scars will fade, but they represent so much and you should consider them trophies! Have pride, be proud, you grew and are raising a child! You will find love, it is a world full of unique families now a days, and I’m sure you will have more children in the future. Perhaps then you may experience what you feel like you missed. If not, there will be 20 years of wonderful memories ahead, don’t dwell on the one you you missed. It will one day seem like a blink.

  • Milk Mama Thursday, July 3, 2008, 1:18 am

    What a beautiful baby boy!
    Give it time, the stretchmarks will fade and so will the scar. You are also only a few months postpartum, so your stomach will tighten up and weight will be lost as well. I’m nineteen months postpartum and just starting to lose some weight since my daughter isn’t nursing as much (extended breastfeeding) and my appetite is lowering… Anyhow, I just basically wanted to let you know that you’re a new mom and things will get amazingly better… both for your body and for your self esteem… as time goes by. ;)

  • Nicole Thursday, July 3, 2008, 11:32 pm

    I am also in tears at the miracle of life.. Just a hundred years ago many women died while giving birth. Thank you God for giving doctors the knowledge to save this beautiful woman and her adorable son! Wow. What a miracle of a story. I am so glad you are okay. What’s a few pink marks when you think about it?! You have life the most beautiful gift of all, right? My son just turned 3 months as well.. and I get down on my body all the time. I come here to force myself to realize that all mom’s bodies change and I always go away from reading stories that make me feel so very blessed to be able to have kids of my own and see them smile. So many women are praying for kids.. we should be grateful. In time you will realize that if the guy doesn’t want you because of a few scars then he isn’t worth it!!! My hubby has scars and so do I from surgeries and it really isn’t an issue. Good Luck and Wow.. thank you for sharing!! I think I read your story faster than I have ever read anything.. hehe :0)

  • Janet Friday, July 4, 2008, 9:53 am

    Your battle scars are beautiful – and just look at the beautiful little life your battle brought forth!

  • Blondie Friday, July 4, 2008, 11:00 pm

    Congratulations on your little miracle! It is so true that it will take time for your body to heal, you had emergency surgery after all and yes the stretch marks will fade with time. I also believe you will absolutely find love again. Your life is far from over in the love department. I can also offer some advice that might help you. If your scars are still red than that is good as far as fading them. When scars are still in that red stage they are more receptive to treatment. You can use 10% alpha hydroxy acid in lotion form, on your stomach, which is inexpensive and available over the counter. Microdermabrasion is also very effective when they are at this stage. It is the best time, because when stretch marks turn white they don’t respond to many treatments at all. That being said, you are not wrong for not liking the stretch marks (none of us love them), but you shouldn’t dwell on them or beat yourself up about them. They are a part of motherhood and they do not take away from who you truly are. Best wishes and enjoy motherhood as they grow up so fast.

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