Anonymous

I am 25 and a proud mother of two boys 3-1/2 and 2, I am currently expecting another baby boy. This will be my fourth pregnancy but only my third healthy baby. I am still in the process of getting used to my new body, and this site has helped so much. I have always had body image issues, and have struggled with a silent eating disorder that pregnancy has seemed to intensify. Because no matter how much I eat, or do not eat I can not change the way my body looks to me. With my first pregnancy I weighed about 120-lbs, and had gained 9-lbs. We concieved again about 4 months later and I weighed 129-lbs in the beginning. I told myself I was going to gain as little weight as possible without putting the baby in danger. I ate as healthy as I could and only gained 29 lbs. But I got terrible streatch marks. I gave birth 5 days early to a 9-lb 7-oz healthy baby boy. I was in my regular clothes 3 days after I gave birth. With my third pregnancy it was a completely different story. I had gotten down to 114-lbs after having my son, but I gained weight so much faster with this pregnancy, and had to wear maternity clothes a lot sooner than I had the last time. I ate the same as I had with my second pregnancy, but I gained 37-lbs.I didn’t get any new streatch marks, but it made the ones I had even deeper. My second son was born 2 weeks early and weighed 8-lb, 2-oz. It took me a good month before I could even think about wearing my regular clothes. After that pregnancy my ED became very hard to control. I felt huge, and I got down on myself for putting that much weight on. My breasts lost all of their perkiness, and I went from a 36-C to a 34-A. I had always had small breasts, but I was a normal B. Now I had nothing. We weren’t planning on having any more children, and we had just sorted through all of our baby things, and put them into our garage sale pile. Two weeks later we found out that we were expecting again. We were shocked to say the least, but also very excited. At the beginning of this pregnancy I weighed 123-Lbs, and so far I’ve gained 17-lbs. I am 21 weeks today. My midwife has told me that I’m on course to gain about the same amount of weight that I did with my last pregnancy, and I’m freaking out. I am not in maternity clothes yet, because they are still to big. So I don’t know where I’m gaining the weight at. Probably my Butt!! I am however trying to focus on growing a healthy baby and eating right, not on the weight. But it’s getting to be extremely hard. I just want to add that I am so thanful to all of the brave women who have shared their stories and pictures. It really has helped me see that I am not alone and I am more normal than what the media portrays.