~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 months
~pre-pregnancy weight: 160. Final pregnancy weight: 230
~gave birth to 9 lb baby girl
I have a ridiculously beautiful baby girl. I had a lot of support from moms on an online message board during my pregnancy. Some of these moms lost their babies. This makes me sad, but thankful for my little girl. I feel so blessed. I look at my stomach. It is covered in stretch marks. My skin just flops over. I remember that this is where my baby grew. This is where she was kept warm, safe, and nourished. I miss the kicks and punches. I always knew she was so safe there. As she grew larger, so did I, and the more stretch marks, the more my skin couldn’t handle it. I am torn. This body is where my angel girl was conceived, where she went from an egg and sperm to an absolute miracle, and it is also a living record of that – recorded in scars and loose skin.
I search for other moms who have what I have, and that have worked hard and gotten rid of the flap. I haven’t found any. I know that I will not look like I did before. I will always be jealous of moms who never get a stretch mark, or have no loose skin. Women who complain about their post-partum bodies, who in reality had very very little change, will always drive me crazy. I am lucky, and I have someone who accepts my body, and no just because I carried his child, but because he loves me. I love him, but cannot help but wonder if the relationship did not work out, who would want me? I would need a tummy tuck. I need a tummy tuck. I want hope. I cannot find hope.
I am almost 7 months post-partum. I have lost 45 lbs, since having my baby. I have a lot more to lost because I gained some before conceiving. I want to lost 50 lb more. My “normal weight” before becoming pregnant was between 135 – 145 (usually more toward the 145-150). I am 5′ 7″, and had an hourglass figure. I always had stretch marks. Down my inner thighs. My breasts. Above my butt/lower back. And my sides. I don’t really know why. I was an athlete, and I maintained my weight until I was in my mid-twenties when I gained 50 lb, but only got 1 stretch mark from that. My weight is now distributed so different. I had a tummy pouch before, but now I have this huge flap. I had little love handles, but now they are really large. I never had back fat, but I do now. Now that some time has passed I am not consumed by how bad my body looks, but I still have sad moments. I wouldn’t change anything. I realize had I put off getting pregnant, then I wouldn’t have this little girl. I have a happy, healthy baby. Whether it is right or not, I feel bad about the way I look, but if it were September 2010 again, I would still try to conceive her. I would do it all again.