My last post.
Age: 26
Number of pregnancies: 2 carried to term, 1 miscarriage at 7 weeks
PP: 6 years, 3.5 years, miscarriage yesterday at 7 weeks
Image: about 5 weeks pregnant with 3rd baby that I just lost
I have posted here many times before. This was my third pregnancy, and I was so very excited. I found out when I was only 4 weeks along! Although my other 2 pregnancies were very welcome, this one was hoped for. With my first son I was only 19, not married, and terrified to tell my parents (it did not take long to get happy though!). My first son was born with a very rare syndrome and he passed away when he was only 19 months old. It was/is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. I think of him and miss him every single day (it has been 4.5 years since he passed). I got pregnant with my second son only 3 months after Connor had passed away, so it was very difficult (again, it did not take long to get happy, and I knew it was what Connor wanted for his Father and I). This pregnancy, my third, was planned. I was so excited when I found out (I even jumped up and down). I am married, I did not JUST lose my son (not that I don’t miss him…just that it isn’t as fresh as it was when I got pregnant with my second), and this was planned. I will be graduating in the beginning of May from nursing school, and my due date was supposed to be June 6th, so the timing was perfect. I had planned it all out…I would get quite a few months home with the baby while applying for nursing jobs…it was perfect timing. Yesterday I went to the bathroom and saw some blood clots. I told my husband we had to go to the hospital. We brought Liam (our second child) to the sitter, and off we went. They did blood work and an ultrasound which basically confirmed that I was in fact pregnant, but no longer am. I was crushed, crying uncontrollably. When we got home from the hospital I was in extreme pain, felt like actual contractions. This morning I woke up, went to the bathroom, and passed my placenta. This is just horrible. I already loved that baby. I know it is different than losing my Connor, but to me, I just lost another baby. Although was only 7 weeks pregnant, it was my baby and I loved him/her.
I too lost my child at 7 weeks. I know the pain you are feeling and will pray for peace and emotional healing for you and your family. I am so sorry.
Firstly, my heart goes out to you. I’ve had 5 pg’s. The first, and my last ended in miscarriage. It’s heartbreaking that so many babies end up being angels and just don’t get to stay with you. My third child was born with a major cardiac problem and I truly believed that after all the heartbreak of his operations we had had all the bad luck we were due. I was so wrong…life is truly cruel at times. You are not alone in your grief, so many of us have felt it. Sending you hugs
Honey I can relate I have lost 3 babies 1 @15 weeks, 1 @ 12weeks and 1@7 weeks, no matter how we loose them they are still our babies and we still greive them, im very sorry that you lost your first born that is very hard i can imagine… sending you many hugs and prayers
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
I am sososo sorry for your loss. Crying with you.
Devastated for you! nobody knows this pain like we do. I myself have had 5 pregnancies, the first 3 lost in the first 3 months, second two pregnancies survived but weren’t fully enjoyed because of the stress of wondering if it will happen again, had i lost the third – i don’t know if I would have had the strength to keep trying. I know my words won’t make it any better, but know that you are not alone and we are all thinking of you.
love and light. x
Shannon, I am so sorry for your losses. Your grief is real and valid and length of pregnancy has no bearing on those feelings. Please check out stillbirthday.com. It’s run by a wonderful, caring woman, and is a great resource for loss parents. Again, I’m so sorry and I hope you can find peace.
No matter what anyone says this will always be difficult. Again maybe not as difficult as losing your son, to have that relationship/connection. I miscarried my first child at 8 wks and I was devastated, I went on to have my son who is now 6, I then miscarried at 12 weeks when my son was 3, this was absolutely horrendous, thankfully we went on to have a forth pregnancy and I have a wonderful little girl who is now 2. I often think of my 2 babies and it makes me sad that they never got here but I am also blessed with 2 amazing healthy children that I’m very thankful for.
I wish you and your family all the best for your future and I hope you go on to have another healthy child xx
I am so sorry. I know what it is like to miscarry. I’ve lost 3: 22 weeks, 19 weeks and 6 weeks. Regardless of how far along you are … it’s devastating to know you lost your baby. I even cried my eyeballs out at my 6 week loss. You will be in my thoughts.
Oh Shannon, this breaks my heart. In all my years following SOAM you are the only person that I ever wonder, “hey, I wonder how Shannon is doing?” Maybe because your story stands out? I’m so sorry you have to go through this. At least you know your baby will have his or her big brother to keep him company until the day you can all be together again.
It never gets any easier no matter the circumstances. With my youngest I knew I was pg before my cycle was even late. I’ve been pg 6 times, but only have two girls.
I lost a baby just before Christmas. I got pg in October and carried s/he for 3 1/2 weeks without knowing anything was even wrong. Hearing that I was at 10 weeks but the baby was a 6 1/2 was really hard.
Ashley was stillborn at 28 1/2 weeks though I started miscarrying at 19 weeks. I don’t care that Ashley never took a breath, she was mine.
I’m very grateful for the two girls I have, but I miss my other children and wonder what they would have been like.
The pain will eventually lessen, but don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t grieve for a child you never knew. You can, and should.
I’m praying for comfort for you.
Thank you all for the kind words. Thanks Colleen for keeping my family in your thoughts!
I did not know how common this was until I became 1 of the 20%. It does not necessarily make me feel better, just less alone in this. We will try for another baby, but I will not forget the one I lost that I never got to meet.
CC, of course Ashley was/is yours. We are Mommies to all of our babies, even the ones we never got to meet, never took a breath, or passed away as young children.
I am sorry for all of you that know the pain of a miscarriage/loss of a child.
I’m sorry. M/c sucks! I lost my third earlier this year, and often think about that baby- how old they’d be now.
Im in a similar heartbreak. I got pregnant at 17 with my now nine year old daughter..not planned and after a harsh relationship with her dad…I raised her on my own. Then I met my now husband Matt who took my daughter as his own…but only after dating for 6 months, I discovered I was pregnant ..the timing was not good or expected..however we had our son who is now 2. For the past 6 months we have been trying for a third…planning every little detail..so when I finally got pregnant the whole family was over joyed..I went in last week to see the dr, blood work and everything was fine…we were picking names…our 9 year old who was the most excited spoke of nothing else..then I went or an ultrasound this Tuesday to only to told there was no longer a heartbeat..I’ve been a mess for days and running a daycare in my home and seeing all infants has been hard..now I am just waiting for my body to pass the cycle on its own. I’m glad I’m not alone in this expieriance! However I do wish it was on much more joyful terms.
Kelli,
I am so sorry to hear that. It really is difficult. I lost my baby October 14 and had a period exactly a month laster on November 14. I am hoping to get pregnant again. I will not forget the baby I lost, but I still so badly want a baby. Good luck to you. I really hope everything works out.
I send you love and my wishes that you an heal. I am so sorry to hear!