12 months after two boys (Anonymous)

I was 60kg when i got pregnant with my first baby, when I had just turned 18. i started showing very early, i had a noticable bump at only 10 weeks. I mananged to avoid stretchmarks until i was about 28 weeks pregnant, they started out just a couple on either side, but by 29 weeks my belly was covered in them, and they were thick and red and i thought they were horrible. I wished i could have been one of those pregnant women who could show off their bellies, but i hated my stretchmarks. The other weight gain wasnt really noticable, it seemed to all go to my tummy (I gained 20kg). My son was born at 30 weeks, and i remember feeling so great for the first couple of weeks, not really noticing that my whole body had blown up and the weight from my stomach seemed to have spread everywhere. Only six weeks later, i was pregnant again. This time i was even bigger (belly-wise) and my stretchmarks creeped furthur up my stomach. After my second son was born, i had gained another 10kg. And this time i felt horrible. I would never wear clothes that showed my stomach in any way, same with my thighs and upper arms. Now, 12 months after my second son was born, my stretchmarks are fading, and i am so much more comfortable in my own skin. I have lost 15kg since he was born, so i am still 15kg heavier than I was before having kids, but i feel just fine with how i look. Of course i would like to loose more weight and tone up etc, but its not a huge priority. I still wont let people see me naked, and yes i still do get paranoid, but im generally ok with myself. The main things that worry me is the flab still on my stomach, and the fact that one of my breast sags more than the other. But I am a mother, and i will never look the way i did before —- and im starting to be ok with that. the pictures are of me at 11weeks with my oldest, then 24 weeks, then at 30 weeks with my second, and now.