I wish I had known… (Morning Sickness)

When sorting out all the submissions sent in for the collaborative “I wish I had known…” list, I came across this one sent in by one woman. And, well, it kind of stands on it’s own. Enjoy!

1) Vomit will come out your nose

2) Eating Mexican food and then “not feeling well” on the way home may result in said Mexican food being thrown up out the window all over the side of the car

3) Vomit created from Mexican food can strip the gloss coat off of a 2003 Ford Expedition

4) Sitting in the back of a 2003 Ford Expedition while on the way to Costco after drinking a large iced white chocolate mocha will make you sick

5) Being in public in the Costco parking lot will not cause said throwing up to cease and desist

6) Being at work will not stop morning sickness

7) Nothing will stop morning sickness

8) Being at work and throwing up in the paper bags that are used to hold sanitary napkins is not a good idea

9) The bags that hold sanitary napkins in bathrooms will not hold very much vomit and said bag will burst all over your pants, underwear and the bathroom floor

10) The industrial toilets in public or work restrooms will hold a LOT of vomit-y toilet paper

11) Thankfully, Ryan does not get sick when thrown up on in the shower

12) Ryan also (thankfully) does not get sick if throwing up in the same room as him

13) Chunky vomit can be pushed down the shower grate with toes

14) Having a nozzle attachment on the shower head does help hose down the shower after throw up session

15) Most vomit also will go down most sinks – though sometimes it does require help

16) There are certain things that taste as good the second time as the first. These include cantaloupe and Gatorade.

17) There are some things that do not taste good the second time around – these include everything but cantaloupe and Gatorade

18) Milk products will curdle the stomach

19) There are some general rules to follow when throwing up in a toilet, the primary and most important to remember is that you should not be standing when throwing up into a “bowl” of water – it will splash you with things you don’t want to be splashed with.

20) You can absolutely pee your pants when throwing up.

21) There may be a time that you have to choose whether to throw up on yourself or pee yourself.

10 thoughts on “I wish I had known… (Morning Sickness)

  • Thursday, July 5, 2007 at 8:26 am

    How true these comments are and bring memories flooding back!

  • Thursday, July 5, 2007 at 8:31 am

    number 20- was a learning experience for me… I never went anywhere without a towel to shove between my legs. I never knew that when I had to throw up- I could pull down my pants, shove the towel in place, get a bucket and hold my hair back so damned fast!

  • Thursday, July 5, 2007 at 9:42 am

    Ohhh, that takes me back to my second pregnancy. There is also never a parking place downtown in the morning when you need to pull over to throw-up….and you get some awful looks when you have no choice but to do it out the window.

  • Thursday, July 5, 2007 at 10:05 am

    This is absolutely the best. As a major vomitee, I concur with so many of these! I puked so much with my first that I actually threw up what my doctor said was stomach lining!

  • Thursday, July 5, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Ahh memories. This reminds me so much of my first pregnancy. My #1 would be: If your best friend finds you sitting on the bathroom floor completely exhausted from throwing up and cleans you and the bathroom up w/out hesitation…she is your best friend for life!

  • Thursday, July 5, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    Don’t even get me started on what happens when you are having trouble with the digestion on the OTHER end…and you have to vomit. Makes you miss the pee situation. And makes the decision about which end of yourself to point at the toilet have a different outcome.

  • Friday, July 6, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    Nutter butter peanut butter cookies taste exactly the same in both directions!

  • Monday, July 9, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    Oh, the flashbacks!

    Oh, and apple chunks take hours of nose blowing to get out of your nose after throwing up apples out your nose.

    Note to self, never, EVER, eat apples while pregnant.

  • Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at 6:44 pm

    I’d like to add that:

    -Cheerios are the worst, WORST thing to vomit back up. They’re like mushy slime.

    -Things that you never thought could make you puke – like your friend’s cologne – will make you puke.

    -It’s possible to puke so hard that you pass out.

    -It’s also possible to puke so hard that you get a nosebleed.

    -It’s ALSO possible for your nose to bleed so hard from puking that you keep going to the mirror to make sure your intestines aren’t dangling out of your face.

    -Few things are more disappointing than eating a lovely, delicious, filling meal…and then puking it all back up. And then being hungry again afterwards.

    -Puking in a place without a restroom (or with a restroom too far away to get to in time) is rather embarassing. Department store aisle, anyone?

    -Reading this list while pregnant will probably make you puke.

    The end. :)

  • Friday, July 13, 2007 at 6:33 pm

    I threw up once and hours later blew my nose and found a piece of TOMATO that had lodged in there! Yuck!

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