Learning to Move On (Anonymous)

Age 22
2 children – 4 year old and a 6 month old.

I came across this site by accident. It came at the right time as the night before I’d opened up to my partner for the first time about my hatred for the way I look. I’ll start from the beginning of my story.

My first son came as a surprise to me. I was almost 5 months pregnant when I found out I was expecting. At 17 I had not planned on having a baby! As soon as I found out I was over joyed and scared. My partner at the time was not a very nice man, we broke up several times and finally finished for good not long after I had my son. My fear of my body stems from him I believe, he would scream at me that I was discussing and nobody would want me. If anybody else had said that to me I don’t think it would have been so painful, but I had carried his baby in my body and I honestly did not care about my stretch marks or sagging skin, my son was beautiful. However as time went on his constant belittling of the way I looked started to take its toll. I found my self alone with no friends that understood what it was like to be 17 and have the body I did. I watched as they all went on with their lives with their young beautiful bodies while I sat around feeling sorry for my self. For a very long time I didn’t think I was worthy of anybody to love me.

When my son was 2 I met my current partner. He is the most wonderful man and I love him more than I can express. He loves my son as his own and I could not ask for anything more. When we had our second son I feared that his feeling would change towards my son but they didn’t he loves him just as he always did. My own insecurities resurfaced after giving birth again however. He showers me with compliments and I know that he really does love me as I am, stretch marks and sagging skin included!! I just don’t. I push him away constantly, I can’t understand how somebody can look at me and think I look nice! Recently we have talked properly about things and I have realised that it doesnt matter, he loves my body, why shouldn’t I?

It doesn’t help with all the pictures of the celebs with their fantastic figures after and hour of giving birth! This is why this site is so amazing, it has helped me realise that we really are beautiful. We should be proud that our bodies carried our whole worlds for 9 months and be grateful we where so lucky to be able to. I’ve come to realise that it doesn’t matter what I look like, I am lucky. It’s not fair to those who haven’t been unable to conceive or to my children to care how I look. They are a blessing. I am slowly dealing with my issues and I hope that everybody out there can do to!

Your all beautiful ladies – be happy!! X