Being an only child, the first things I was told by my mother when I told her I was first pregnant were the horror stories of how her pregnancy was so horrible and that is why she only had one. When I developed stretch marks, she blamed me for not using enough lotion because she never had any. When my milk came in, she commented on how huge my breasts were, how strange my nipples looked, and when I weaned my first, she commented on how ugly my deflated breasts were. It was one insult after another from the only woman I confided and trusted in for pregnancy and postpartum support, my own mother.
My stretchmarks on my breasts (going from size B to D) were bright purple and surrounded my nipples like the rays of the sun. Up and down my hips, thighs, and sides were more “tiger stripes” – my adult cousin
actually pulled me aside and asked what was causing my bruising, if my husband was beating me. Everyone around me seemed to be pointing at something being wrong with me, wrong with my body, and that I was at
fault for it all.
I’ve learned over time and maturity, that my body is beautiful as it is. I don’t need to hide it, if someone has a problem with it, the problem lies solely with them inside their heads. I have breastfed both of my children for a total of 28 months at this point and we are expecting our 3rd child any day now – I plan to breastfeed him until I am depleted of fat as well. I started out in a size 10, after weaning baby #1, I was a size 6. After weaning baby #2, I was a size 4. I gained 60 lbs with each pregnancy, though only 45 lbs with this one. I’m 5’9″ and have a thin build, people who see me clothed after birth always think I have a perfect, childless body – but you know what? It’s really lovely, underneath it all, just in a different and more admirable way, in a way that has supported life to the fullest extent!
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 3rd vaginal birth any
~The age of your children, or how far pregnant you are: 4 years, 2.5
years, and 35 weeks pregnant currently in photos