The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother

« | Home | »

Wishing to be confident again (Anonymous)

October 30, 2009

My age 23. Two children ages 3 and 1

I became pregnant at the age of 19 with my first son. I was scared for about half a second, then thrilled. I was worried about what would happen to my body, I was always very fit. But I knew a lot of girls who had babies and you could not tell by looking at them, so I figured I would be the same way. I ate fairly well through out my pregnancy, but I still gained over 60 lbs! Despite constantly rubbing coco butter all over my belly I was covered in stretch marks, I was devastated. On top of that, due to my weight gain and swelling, my thighs, inner thighs, and calves were also covered. I was going to include pictures but they have faded so much the camera didn’t pick them up. So not only can I not wear a bikini, now I couldn’t even wear shorts either!! At 21 I got pregnant with my second son, I didn’t gain as much weight with him, and didn’t even use any lotions because I already had marks everywhere. And surprisingly I didn’t not get a single new stretchie.
After 3 years I still cry over them, I feel so ugly. I work out daily hoping they will magically “unstretch” but they don’t. My sons’ father and I broke up this Feb and I want to start dating again. But when it comes to sex, well I try to put it off until I just break it off because I am so terrified that I will get dumped over having them. I love my boys more then anything, and they are worth every change to my body. But I still wish it could be different. I want everyone on here to know how much you have helped me start to feel like it’s okay to look this way. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel confident and sexy… when I have clothes on.
Also I have read comments about some girls lie about not having stretch marks, it’s true I am one of them. When people tell me how great I look and ask if I got them, I say no. Because when I say yes I just want to cry.
Anyways, thanks for reading my story. Hope it can make someone feel like they don’t look so bad… honestly some posts on here make me feel like I got pretty lucky because it could be so much worse. If that’s wrong I’m sorry.

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook

18 Responses to “Wishing to be confident again (Anonymous)”

  1. TracyKM Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Hon, if someone was going to break up with you because you have stretch marks after two pregnancies, then YOU SHOULDN’T BE WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. If they’ve faded so the camera doesn’t see them, then some hot and bothered young man isn’t going to see them either :)
    If I had your body, I would DEFINATELY be in a bikini! LOL. Not a low cut one like your undies, but one with a bit more coverage on bottom. You look so feminine and sexy!

  2. Debra Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 11:09 am

    You look fabulous… Men that are worth their weight won’t care a hoot about your stretch marks (and believe it or not, most that aren’t worth their weight probably won’t care either!). The right guy will view your body as much of a blessing as the two boys that he’ll also be lucky to get to know.

  3. tanya Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 11:42 am

    your breasts are amazingly hot you know!! you should show them off and maybe focus on them rather than the marks :)

  4. Dee Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    I think your body is awesome!!! You are definitely NOT ugly, your stretch marks are almost invisible. If a man loves you, he will not care, he will find you irresistible. I have a LOT of stretch marks, more visible than yours and my husband cannot keep his hands off me, even after being together a really long time. Your mind, your confidence will make up for any slight physical flaw. Be sexy.

    I’m almost old enough to be your mom and believe me, I would rock a bikini so HARD if my body still looked like that!!

  5. Kayla Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    Wow, I feel exactly like you. I too am a young momma, and are stomachs are identical!!! I cannot beleive it, when I look at you, all I see is a gorgeous woman, so don’t be so hard on yourself! The stretch marks do fade a lot of time!

  6. Sarah Says:
    October 31st, 2009 at 10:37 am

    No man in his right mind would dump you for having stretch marks. If he does, then he’s a jerk and he doesn’t deserve you and you probably dodged a bullet. He’d probably be abusive and sexist.

    You, my dear… you are gorgeous. You have a sexy figure and gorgeous breasts. If you date again, date a man who will love your heart. And once you get intimate, he will love your body as well. Heart first. ;)

  7. Wandy Says:
    October 31st, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    You look so much better than you think you do. Totally jealous over here :)!!

  8. tamara Says:
    October 31st, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    hey girl!! ur story is my exact story!! i even wrote the same exact thing ” not only can i not wear a bikini, but i cant wear shorts either” u have to read my post i know exactly where ur coming from girl…i have 3 but the most recent one should be under “Update after 3 months of pilates~Tamara”

  9. autumn Says:
    October 31st, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Your stomach looks way better then mine does and I only had one kid, I also got streach marks, my sons 8 months old and there starting to fade but I still feel sick, I mean im still with my sons dad and I still feel like crap, I guess its just cause I use to be skinny and everything., Dont stress on it if the right guy comes along he wont care what you look like

  10. Judith Says:
    October 31st, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    I wish you could see it yourself, how good you look. Beautiful breasts, you have a waist, a nice long body, a little rounded tum that looks fine and a great butt. But it’s the beauty inside you that will attract the love of your life – he is out there now and will find you when the time is right. He will love every part of your body because it is the outer shell of the woman he loves. Be patient, it’s also amazing how some soft lighting can help your embarassment the first time. Being sexy is all in the mind not the shape or size of your body. Women with far worse than you think you are, can be sexy.

  11. D Says:
    November 2nd, 2009 at 5:56 am

    Please keep in mind that many men (myself included) appreciate what a woman goes through when having children. The things you see as flaws are additional dimensions to a wonderful person. Not flaws. I hope you will come to realize that.

  12. Poster Says:
    November 5th, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you guys, so much. I realize I’m being ridiculous. I know someone will love me just the way I am, but I just can not get used to my mommy body. It has been almost 4 years now, and I still just hate my body. While my ex and I were together, both kids are his, he never said anything to make me feel like my body was okay. He wasn’t mean or anything, but when I needed to hear I was sexy he never told me. It takes time, and I’m hoping that one of these days I’ll feel comfortable the way I am.

  13. MJ Says:
    November 5th, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    I would KILL for your body! Wow! If you saw my sagging breasts (seriously, I’m 23, only one child & I look like an 80 year old woman) you would see how incredible you look.

  14. sama Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    really wish i looked that good lol…trust me hon you look great and if you feel that the men your dating will dump you then A, you may be dating the wrong type and B, you cant predict how a man will react, you need to just try it and not hide behind what if, as you wont ever enjoy that part of life…..

  15. r ranson Says:
    November 21st, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    moma you look great if some one cant see how gourges you are then they need to have ther eyes checked

  16. sigma888 Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    You are beautiful and sexy! Love your boobs!

  17. Tabi Says:
    January 7th, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    My boyfriend thinks you’re hot. :)
    So, I’m sure there are lots of other guys who would, too!!

  18. Alyssa Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    wow, your body is so beautiful! I am 21 and have never had children and my breasts are no where near yours.

    Many men have stretch marks, you know. For you, they represent the life that your brought into the world. That, to me, is beautiful. We are conditioned through the media about what is beautiful, but how would we perceive if we didn’t have comparisons readily available?

Comments


Support This Site