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Unhappy and Envious (Danielle)

June 29, 2012

23 yrs old. 1 pregnancy/birth. Daughter is now 18 months old

As the second summer after the birth of my daughter approaches, I once again find my self looking at bikini’s and wishing I was able to wear one. Before pregnancy I was 120 lbs and felt wonderful about myself when wearing a bikini. The first summer after my daughter was born (6 months after) I went to try on swimsuits and found myself sobbing in the department store dressing room. Although I have found a little more confidence since then, it’s not enough to even attempt the terrifying task of trying another on. I feel young, I WISH I could wear a bikini, and to be honest I feel to young for the “Mom” one piece, yet my body tells me a different story. I battle daily with the thought “Get your fat ass of the couch and just do it!” or “Who cares what anyone thinks?! Be THAT girl! Just wear it proudly, and love every minute!” Although I wish I were the latter, I just can’t do it. Not to mention the excessive stretch marks I have acquired :/ I know I am not as big as I was at 9 months pregnant (183lbs) and even though my husband says I look good in a bikini, I just can’t help but feel disgusting..

I just want to say thank God for the creator of this site and the women who post! You all have made me realize it’s ok to not be “magazine perfect.” I don’t have to look like Kourtney Kardashian to be beautiful, and even though I will probably always struggle with my self image, I’m not alone.

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24 Responses to “Unhappy and Envious (Danielle)”

  1. Melody Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 6:44 am

    You can totally wear a bikini!! You don’t look like you’ve even had a baby. I got stretch marks when I hit puberty, so to me it “ain’t no thang” lol. I wore bikinis with stretchmarks on my hips way before kids (although I can’t wear one now because I have a very saggy tummy). With your great body nobody will even notice any tiger stripes.

  2. Mya Maternity Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:50 am

    You are definitely not alone!!! There are many women who struggle just like you are, especially after pregnancy. May I say that you look great though and your tummy is so flat. It does take a little bit of time but you are headed in the right direction. Get that motivation and confidence each day. Congrats on your little one.

  3. amber H Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:04 am

    GIRL! you SO could rock a bikini!!! you dont even look like you had a kiddo! congrats! no worries momma!

  4. Tiffany Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Dear Unhappy and Envious,

    When I saw the title, I expected totally different photos. From my perspective, I think you would look good in a bikini. I don’t know what you looked like before but neither will most other people at the beach or pool!!

    Tiffany

  5. Kerry Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    I think you look terrific! I cant see a single stretch mark and your skin is still so taut. Get a bikini, and rock it!

  6. Andrea Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Danielle, you look fantastic. We look like we have the same body type, I gave birth 4 weeks ago and I really hope I’ll look like you soon. If I had that body I’d work a bikini. I know since I got quite a few stretch marks on my tummy I’ll be wearing waist high bikinis. They’re still SUPER cute! check it out

    http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/vintage-pinup-high-waisted-short-with-matching-sarong-in-white-cherry-from-pinup-couture.html

  7. kit Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    It would be terrible if you didn’t wear a bikini. You have a lovely figure and I think you look amazing. I think everyone should wear a bikini on the beach and not have to apologise for their shape or form. If I saw you on the beach happy in your skin with your baby it would make me smile. I would think how lovely you look.

    Wear a bikini. Feel the sun on your tummy. You have a daughter and she will grow up knowing she has a mummy who is proud of her body. That’s priceless so if you need a bit of courage and need to grit your teeth the first few times you wear one then so be it.

  8. Jessica Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    I don’t know if this helps, but I hope to look as good as you once I have my daughter. I’m terrified that I just don’t know how my body will react postpartum, and like you I’m young and don’t want to have to hide my body after the baby. Wear the bikini, hon, you’ll rock it!

  9. Brittany Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    You look great! Your stomach is so flat! My child is almost two and I wish my body looked like yours!

  10. Piglet Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Girl! What is wrong with you?! You go out and buy that bikini you want right this instant because you are sexy and hot and should be flaunting your body. You look amazing. I am 21, in college, and have NEVER had a baby or have been pregnant and I envy YOUR body and I promise I am not just saying that. Keep your head held high and do not care what anyone else thinks do what is going to make you feel happy but please listen when I say that you look damn fine!

  11. Jamie Says:
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    You look great. My son is 7 months old and I haven’t been to try on bikini’s yet, probably because i know the outcome and just want to avoid it.
    It’s hard for people to understand that even if they think we look great, we look different than we were used to and it’s a hard change to cope with. You might still look amazing but it’s not the amazing you used to feel good about.
    I hope you get back there one day, and so do i! :)

  12. Dee Says:
    June 30th, 2012 at 9:00 am

    Oh, honey! You look AMAZING! There will be women and girls on the beach who’ve never had a baby who’ll feel envious of YOU! Put that sweet baby on your hip and go out in a bikini. If I woke up tomorrow with a body like yours, I’d start grocery shopping in a bikini as a favor to the general public.

  13. Joelle Says:
    June 30th, 2012 at 10:10 am

    No one will ever be magazine perfect unless in photos because we can’t edit our faces and body in life haha. You look great! You have a nice figure and your husband is correct, you have the body for a bikini! So go get a bikini and rock it! There are women who are big and wear a bikini. They feel confident to wear one which is great! You’re not big so you should show off your body and go enjoy yourself. I honestly think no woman should hide her post partum body

  14. muzicbox9 Says:
    June 30th, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Bikinis are lame. They are essentially a bra and underwear. People don’t wear their bras and underwear in public … so why do they wear bikinis? Who designed the bikini anyway? Some pervert who wants to see women in their bras and underwear: that’s who.

    I don’t buy it – never did, even before having children. And we all jump on the bikini bandwagon like a loads of lemmings – like it’s normal to walk around in public in our underwear. Geez. Talk about hypocrisy.

    The bikini is not the standard by which you should judge yourself. It’s two pieces of skimpy cloth given the thumbs up by a lascivious society.

    There are some really cute one pieces out there that are modest and fun – they look like cute little sundresses. You can swim and have fun with your children free in the knowledge that you aren’t giving some jack*ss a show that he normally pays for in twenty dollar bills down at the local strip club.

    Don’t sweat it sister. You’ll be just fine without a bikini. By the way … there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look. You have a strong, lean, healthy, happy body from what I can see. Love yourself.

  15. Stephanie Says:
    July 1st, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    Whew if I looked like that I would go on a bikini shopping spree! :-)

  16. Skye Says:
    July 2nd, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Girl, you look great :) I rock my bikini and I’m bigger than you! Wear what makes you feel good, period. I do agree with the above comment that bikinis are NOT the standard of fitness/beauty. (however, I do not think we can walk around afraid of wearing a 2 piece suit because of the perverts out there…) You look amazing, and you should feel good about yourself no matter WHAT you’re wearing or not wearing.

  17. Skye Says:
    July 2nd, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Personally, I feel better in a bikini than the “mom suit” — my short frame is swallowed up in a one piece. And those skirted ones make me look 4′ tall. Plus, sooo many one pieces any more have resorted to looking like monokini’s – the worst suit ever made. The thighs are cut so high that I end up looking like Jane Fonda, circa 1988. I suggest trying on a good, full coverage boy short and a basic bikini top. No worries about falling out. It’s like having your cake and eating it too :P

  18. Skye Says:
    July 2nd, 2012 at 8:47 am

    A skirted bottom with a bikini top: http://www.victoriassecret.com/swimwear/extra-coverage-bottoms-and-one-pieces/skirted-bottom-forever-sexy?ProductID=32517&CatalogueType=OLS

  19. Tessa Says:
    July 5th, 2012 at 8:34 am

    you kidding me!? You HAVE a bikini body right now! You look like you’ve never had a baby! I wil forever have wrinkly stomach skin and an overhang from my 9 and 10 lb babies, and I’m only 22.

  20. Chelsea Says:
    July 5th, 2012 at 8:50 am

    Honestly, I really dont think you have ANYTHING to be upset about, you look great.
    I have a 19 month old, and I would kill to look like you.

  21. Sarah Says:
    July 8th, 2012 at 9:11 am

    If I was lucky enough to be your size I’d totally be rocking a bikini! Seriously, I don’t even see the stretch marks. If you wanna see stretch marks you should see me. Go out there and buy a bikini and have fun with your little girl :)

  22. Katie Says:
    July 9th, 2012 at 4:35 am

    There are many versions of you: The actual you, who I am sure would look amazing in a bikini. Then there is the idea you, the one you constantly compare yourself too in the mirror, who highlights every perceived flaw. Let her go, you don’t need her. Get up, get a kick ass bikini.

  23. Raquel Says:
    July 30th, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    Eu tive um bebe a 5 meses, sei que é bem recente mas os traços que tenho me deixa sem esperanças, numca tive uma estria ou flacidez,porém agora tenho uma barriga caida flacida e cheia de estrias , jamais conseguirei usar um biquini novamente, só maio e olho lá, mas imagina uma garota de 23 anos usando um maio horroroso na praia, todas minhas amigas lindas e saudaveis e eu escondendo minha flacidez por deibaixo de um maio.
    Vou tentar fazer academia e alguns tratamentos esteticos para ver se melhora, caso contrario vou fazer um cirurgia plastica, me recuso a nao usar um biquini novamente, se meu corpo tivesse ficado igual o seu pós parto estaria dando pulinhos de alegria..

  24. Ada Says:
    September 20th, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    I think you would look hot in a bikini!!! Seriously! When I saw your pictures, I thought to myself, “WOW she had a baby??” I can’t even tell that you had a baby! Honestly! I’m not a mother yet (and I’ve never been pregnant), and honestly, your body looks just like mine. (Well, you have bigger boobs so you win!) :)

    Just go buy a bikini and rock it!

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