I am 22 years old and I have been pregnant once. I have one child,a 16month old son.
The day I found out for sure I was pregnant was one of the hardest days of my life. I was in a bad relationship with a man who was a lot older than me. We had moved in together 3 months before and my life was one big bundle of stress from that point on. I was a full time student that worked full time to support my ex’s drinking and gambling habits and pay our rent. All I could think was my god this is my fault, I am bringing another life into this world with that despicable man. We tried to make it work after I told him I was pregnant but, he started becoming physically abusive. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I moved home and focused on my health and well being, and tried not to let him affect my pregnancy any more than he had. I finished another semester of school and had one semester left until my degree was complete. My pregnancy was pretty uneventful except at the end of my 2nd trimested I began having almost disfiguring stretch marks. I cocoa buttered and used mederma and bio oil and every product I could think of, but nothing stopped the deep purple welts that were coming up all over my body. I then started to gain a ridiculous amount of weight and was experiencing awful constipation. During an appointment with my obstetrician who obviously felt no sympathy for me I began to cry , and expressed feelings of hopelessness about my body, I said how will I ever fix this? She said “This is your fault” she then went on to say if I would be more careful about what I ate maybe I wouldn’t have gotten so heavy. I knew it was coming, I was going to hear those words someday. In the beginning I didn’t realize what a blessing my pregnancy was. It’s been about a year and a half since that appointment, and my life has changed so drastically since then. My labor was an incredible, 43 hours long, with pitocin running the entire time. I did most of it with no pain relief, the last 3 hours I gave in and asked for en epideural because I was scared that they were going to send me in for a cesarean if he wasn’t born soon. 12:19 am I pushed my son out and I will never forget that first moment they sat him on my belly and he just looked up at me. I kissed his little head and I have been madly in love with him ever since. I just graduated from college and I’m studying to take my state boards. I have lost 45 of the 69 pounds (yay for breastfeeding) I’ve gained, but there is one thing I haven’t lost and thats my stretch marks. When my son was about 6 months old I went to my GP for a sinus infection and she asked how long I had been hypothyroid for, I asked her to please repeat the question. My doctor referred me to an excellent endocrinologist who has been incredible. I have been taking Synthroid for almost a year now and I feel like a new women.Sometimes I wonder what my obstetrician would think if I told her I gained that weight because my thyroid was bearly functioning. I look down at my tummy, breasts and thighs in the shower every morning and think oh lord I have some work to do. However I comfort myself by looking at my perfect little boy and my diploma (which is hanging over the mantle) and I think to myself, This is your fault. It is my fault and caused by all of my hard work and sleepless nights that I have my incredbly smart vibrant child and my college degree which will ensure a bright future for us. Remember ladies no matter how bleak the outlook is now, wait a little while things can and do change with an exceptional amount of hardwork.