Becoming a mother is one of the best feelings in the world to experience. You can’t believe to be bringing someone very special in this world, and they be a part of you. My son Demetrius was born January 14 2000, 8 lbs 1 oz. A big and healthy baby. I did everything I knew to do in making sure my baby would be healty, but sometimes there are things beyond your control no matter how hard you try. My son died on Feburary 15, 2000 at the hospital. I was devestated and hurt to the core of my bones because how could this happen. What was wrong with my son that he would leave me so soon. But things happened for a reason and at that time I didn’t know or cared what that reason was. All I knew was that my sweet baby boy was no longer with me. The death of my son even traumatized my oldest son because he was close with his brother even though it was a short time that Demetrius spent on this earth. As time went I was depressed a lot and so was my son. Three years had past and I was pregnant again. This time I was making sure that everything I did was good for my baby. The only thing was I kept thinking back what if the same thing that happened to my son would happen once more, but after getting a lot of advice and counseling from friends and family and professionals, they said lighting would not strike twice in the same spot. I wanted so bad to beleive that. I started beleive what everyone said and I let my guard down. My due date was approaching, then my due date was here, I was in labor for 5 days straight. All the contractions and the pain was hurting me, but I was excited that I was getting ready to bring my daughter home. I had a doctors appointment and then the doctor checked me, I was scared when she told me that she couldn’t find the heart beat and when she did it was a sing of relief. She said by 8 pm that night you would be in full labor. I went home and five hours later, it was time to go to the hospital. I was excited because the time was getting closer to bring home my baby, but it didn’t happened that way. When I got to the hospital and was checked out by the nurse they couldn’t find a heart beat, I told them that I went to the doctor’s earlier and they had a hard time finding the heartbeat. The nurses told me something that I didn’t want to hear. They said to me that I’m sorry that there isn’t a heartbeat, that my baby had died. Screaming, criying, yelling and heartbroken I was once again devestated by the news of my daughter that was supposed to be born on June 11, 2003. After having to push my daughter out, the doctors and everyone else saw what the problem was. The umblical chord was wrapped around my daughters neck. Once againg my son and I was heartbroken because we weren’t able to have no time with either son or daughter. Here is a poem that I wrote for both of my children, writing this poem got me through that awful time. The poem is attached to the email.
My Beautiful Angels
God chose me to have his angels
In my eyes that’s what I see
God chose me to have his angels
To my surprise because I had three
God chose me to have his angels
Because I was told that I could have none
God chose me to have his angel
But he took two and I kept one
Because my Angel baby what a gift from GOD
So innocent good and sweet
I think about you every night and day
Tears come down I weep
Knowing that I must be special
To get this gift from God
With the time we shared
On this earth
Giving you back was hard
My special baby
I love