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Teen Learning to Love Her Body (Faith)

I was 14 years old and dateing this 16 year old guy. we were going out for about 2 months, and he invited me over to his house while his parents where away. i was kinda sketchy about it, but i trusted him, so i decited to go to his house. while we where in his basement, he asked if i wanted to have sex. I told him that i’m not ready yet, and he just kept on asking me. he promised he would use a condom. he finaly got me to, and he got ontop of me. after about a minute, it didnt feel right. i could then tell he wasnt wearing one. i tried pushing him off of me, but then he started to get aggressive and held me down. i told him to get off of me, and he said that if i didnt let him finish, he would tell my dad i was sneaking out with him and doing drugs (which i smoked pot once before that. and i DID end up getting caught anyway.) so i was in shock, and about 10 minutes later, he got off me. i was disgusted, and just left. i called him up the next day and told him im breaking up with him. i was afraid to tell anyone of what had happened.
a month past, and my period was late. i started getting morning sickness. i was going out with another boy when i found out i was pregnant. he was the first person i told, and he said that if i didnt get an abortion, he would break up with me because he didnt want to be embarassed by having a “fat” girlfriend. he was my only friend at the time. my dad never spent time with me, and my mom had passed away about 3 years before that. my brother was moved out of the house, and i was a lone.
the day after halloween, i sat my dad down and told him i was pregnant. he went out and got a test, and i took it it came up “pregnant”. at that point, reality hit me. i was going to have a baby. i was going to have an abortion. i thought i would do it before i started to show. that night, i realized im resposible for 2 people now. i fell in love with the baby.
i told my boyfriend im leaving him before he left me, and i was going to give birth to this child. so he was gone. a long time friend came around, and we started talking a lot. his name was dustin. i finaly told him about 2 weeks later that i was pregnant. he was in shock. i had told him what happened, and he was there for me. (and now were dating (: )
i decited i needed to give my baby up for adoption. i wanted to keep him, but i wanted him to have a dad and a mom that will be there all the time for him. me and my dad found a couple through an agency. loriston and lisa where their names, and they were the perfect couple i have ever seen. we met up with them. they were so nice. i chose them.
i went into the 20 week ultrasound, and guess what? ITS A BOY!!. i was so excited. the family was also excited.
on june 18th at 7:11 i gave birth to a healthy 9lb 10 oz baby. we named him Torren Dwane Reed.
this is me at 40 weeks 3 days (a day before being induced. june 17th, 2009) :

071409-faith-1

this is me now at 15 years old (1 week 1 day post pardum):

071409-faith-2

the mom gave me a teddy bear from build-a-bear workshop that if you squeeze his chest, you can feel a pulse of a heart. they also gave one to Torren.
i love the adoptive family.

Updated here.

in Adoption, Belly, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update
82 comments… add one
  • Stacie Hulm Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 10:17 am

    What you did was wonderful! You have a pure heart and spirit inside of you. You gave a baby life! Not once, but twice. A beautiful expression of human love!

    You are a valuable person – always believe that about yourself. You’re value is not defined by others … but by God, and who he has created you to be.

    Best of luck for the future!

  • Mir Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 10:50 am

    Girl, thank you for sharing your story. I am very proud of you–you took a horrible situation (what happened to you was nothing less than rape) and you chose to try to bring something good out of it. I applaud your courage and your heart. I hope you will be safe and blessed in the future. Congratulations on your birth as well!

  • Michelle Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 11:02 am

    Your story made me well-up with tears. What a brave, wonderful, amazing person you are!

  • Shi Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 11:07 am

    I am crying sitting here, your story is beautiful. What was done to you was so wrong, and you took that wrong, and did the most right, loving, beautiful thing you could have done, even though it caused you pain. You put your baby first and you should be so so proud, that baby will be so thankful to you when he is grown for the love that you gave him, and that will follow him everywhere. God Bless you, and you child!

  • Lisa Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 11:13 am

    Your story brought a tear to my eye. I dont usually comment, but I just had to tell you what an amazing girl you are to be so strong for your baby and be able to give the most wonderful gift to a couple and make a family. I am sorry for what happened to you and I truly hope that you seek some counselling to help with losing your mother and the rape. One day you will be a wonderful mother.

  • Jenn Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 11:30 am

    Thank you for sharing your story! You did an amazing thing by giving this baby life and then finding a loving family for him. You have great courage and love and it is wonderful that you thought of the baby first and made something beautiful come out of a not so happy situation.
    God bless you now and in the future and may you always feel His love!

  • Alex Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 12:22 pm

    I am amazed with your story. Rape can sometimes be hard to recognize but I do believe it was your case. It’s heart breaking because you’re so young. In situations like this it’s tough enough deciding what to do, no one can judge you on your decision to give the baby up for adoption the important thing is that you felt you did what was best for you and it was YOUR CHOICE! I’m glad ultimately found support and you wish you all the best!

  • I-dra Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 12:23 pm

    I am truly humbled by your strength & courage. Not only did you survive a rape, but you had the moxy to leave 2 guys who treated you badly. You were put into the position of having to make some very grown-up decisions & I’m so proud of you for doing what you felt was in the best interests of that little boy. My heart goes out to you. You are an inspiration & this story, while it has it’s rough parts, made my day.

  • annie Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 1:17 pm

    I know how hard it is going to be for you but never give up. just reading this I think your a baby yourself. You are beautiful!!! I have stretch marks as bad as you honey, and they are beauty marks. They fade but they are everlasting reminders of how we made life. LIFE. There is a person, a human in this world that you made and thats amazing. <3

  • annie Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 1:18 pm

    and PS, i forgot to say its beautiful that you made a family complete, because not every one can make a baby and that is the greatest gift you could ever give!

  • Lauren Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 1:35 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing your story. You are one brave good! Take care of yourself. :)

  • Lauren Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 1:36 pm

    Sorry, I meant brave girl not good!

  • Jennifer Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 2:00 pm

    You gave your baby the most amazing gift ever – twice!

    Best of luck to you!

  • Mary Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 2:01 pm

    Thank you for sharing, you are so brave to have made the choices you did… and at such a young age. Your courage is so admirable! There are many people who can not have children of their own and it is so amazing that you gave this couple the family that Im sure they had been dreaming of. Best luck to you, and always remember you are amazing, strong, and beautiful!

  • marjorie Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 2:16 pm

    What happened to you sounds like statutory rape. The law differs in different states, as to the charges that could be brought against the father, but in all states you were and still are under the age of consent. I commend you for your choice to give birth and give another couple the joy of having a baby. You are very young and those must have been difficult decisions for you to make, but you considered wisely and I am sure you made the right decisions. God bless you in your future.

  • Beth Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 3:13 pm

    Congratulations on making the dream of parenthood a reality for a couple. You are an amazing girl and wish you all the best in the future!

  • J Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 3:26 pm

    I’m sure the adoptive family loves you, too.

    It’s hard for me to say this, but have you considered talking to anyone about being raped? It’s not too late to report the crime committed against you. You have rights and you are important. He should not have done that to you.

  • Christie Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 6:04 pm

    I am sorry for the circumstances under which you fell pregnant, but I applaud you for the outcome xoxoxo

  • Stephanie Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 6:26 pm

    I’m overwhelmed with your maturity and generosity. So many young women in your situation would be pressured into having an abortion or they would feel they needed to keep the baby. You have chosen to do something that is soooo unselfish and amazing. You’ve given this child a chance and yourself a second chance. I’m so proud of you and I’m praying God blesses every step of your life in ways you never thought possible.

  • Kali Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 7:21 pm

    Oh sweetheart! Like others I’m crying as I read this. At your very young age you have become such a strong woman. I’ll bet your mother would be very proud of the way you handled such a terrible situation. PLEASE: do not EVER let a man treat you that way again. You should prosecute.

  • meredith Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 7:58 pm

    Wow.Your story just broke my heart. You’ve been through more hard times as a teen than most people see in a lifetime. I’m so sorry that life has been so difficult for you. All too often, young women look for love in boys and men before they have learned to truly love themselves. I hope that you realize what an encredible person you are and wish you a very bright future.

  • Friend Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 9:01 pm

    PLEASE tell someone that you were raped, because you were. Rape is a crime, and this boy deserves to be prosecuted. It doesn’t matter that you initially (sort of) said yes (under pressure) – the minute you said NO and he didn’t listen, it became a rape and he became a criminal. Please find someone you can trust and tell them what happened!!!!

  • Gel Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 10:06 pm

    You did a great thing not only for your baby, but for the adoptive parents, and for yourself. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about your decision. You are strong and couragous. Thank you for sharing. I admire your strength.

  • nico Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 2:14 am

    You take my breath away, you beautiful, wonderful, strong, amazing, generous, incredible young woman!

  • 12 Weeks Pregnant Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 6:35 am

    You rock girl! You’ve got a heart of gold and deserve nothing but the best. May true love come your way.

  • Pattie, RN Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 8:20 am

    Bless you for giving your baby a wonderful, stable home. You are so smart and beautiful to realize that a baby isn’t a toy or a pet, as I have seen over and over and over. Then, the cure baby is a demanding three year old and it isn’t “fun” anymore.

    This act of love will follow you throughout your life, the same way that the acts of murder of others here will follow them…

  • Healthnut mama Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 8:41 am

    I know God will bless you in your life. You are one of the strongest, most incredible people I have ever seen.

  • L Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 12:01 pm

    I think you should report the bastard who got you pregnant. He raped you! He will probebly Rape more girls otherwise. He knew about your young age and did´nt even care to use a condom. Luckely he wont get to be a dad for your boy. I´m happy for the adoptive family =) They sound like a god couple of parents.

  • L Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 12:01 pm

    May true love come your way!

  • Jennifer Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 12:09 pm

    What an inspiration! Your mother would be so proud of you! You truley are a lovely person. WOW! That is amazing!

  • Jennifer Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 12:10 pm

    What happened to the JERK!!?!?!?!?! I want justice against him what PIG!

  • FAITH (author of this) Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 1:29 pm

    i went to the police with my dad, and they did nothing. they said it wasnt rape because i had the option to say no.
    :/
    which made me feel worse about myself.

  • Sierra Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 3:20 pm

    your story is truly amazing, i applaud you for the way you handled your situation many girls in your place would not have handled it so maturly. You are truly a blessing and what you did for your baby will be rewarded he has 2 mothers who truly love him and will always love him!! i pray the boy who raped you gets what he deserves, he’s a complete pig and deserves whatever life dishes out to him, and i definitely agree he should be prosecuted!! Again you are a very strong and kind hearted WOMAN and life will take you far!! God bless you!!

  • aeiou Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 4:07 pm

    Wow. I feel speechless…your strength of character is awe inspiring. You, dearest, are incredibly brave and lovely. I can’t even imagine being in the situations you’ve been in at your age.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that no matter how you feel about the rape, the boyfriends, your family, pregnancy and adoption that you ultimately have complete peace in every area.

  • Rebekah Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 4:30 pm

    Oh, That is a very, very unselfish act! You are a good person, Only good will come out of this!

  • Kathy Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 7:06 pm

    I started off reading your story, thinking that I would be left to comment how sad I was that you had two horrible men in your life that would treat you that way. I thought I would have to be the one to tell you that you didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. Then you wrote that you dumbed your asshole boyfriend, kept the baby, found someone who truly deserves an amazing person like you, and found a great home for your baby.

    I am so happy for you. It is not the negative things that happen to us that defines us as people, it is the positive things we do as we are picking up the pieces. You are a strong, amazing young woman. You are a survivor. You have given your baby a wonderful gift. You are destined for greatness. Be proud of yourself. You are amazing.

  • Deb Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 7:50 pm

    Peace, love and happiness to you, your family, and the family you helped to create.

  • Shealene Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 10:55 pm

    You’re beautiful! AMAZING! And still so positive after everything you’ve dealt with.

  • Hannah Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 11:59 pm

    Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear that… I just had my baby girl 2 months ago, and she too was adopted. I also got a build a bear!!! I made it for my baby and when you press his hand its my voice saying i love you. so that whenever she plays with him, she’ll hear her mommy telling her she loves her. Do not be ashamed of your post pregnancy body. Embrace it. Know what an amazing thing you have done. You are beautiful. Do not le anyone tell you different. Best of luck!!
    -Hannah

  • Carolyn Thursday, July 16, 2009, 1:01 am

    I’m balling. You’re a beautiful person and very strong, thank you for sharing.

  • Mama Thursday, July 16, 2009, 3:26 am

    This brought me to tears because you are so brave. You are brave to have carried your baby and given him life. You are brave for choosing adoption. You are are survivor of rape and yet you are still a child. I want to jump through the screen and give you a hug. So my cyberhug must suffice since it isn’t possible. Congratulations on finding a wonderful adoptive family! Remember this: Everyone in life has trials. Some people have to overcome worse things than others. But it WE are the ones who GET to choose whether those trials break us down and make us smaller, or if those trials will build us up and make us STRONGER. Choose to be stronger. Let these things become part of your story and your womanhood.

    God bless you from the bottom of my heart.

  • Michele Thursday, July 16, 2009, 8:41 am

    Just had to comment as an adoptee. My birth mom was only 17 when she gave birth to me and wanted me to have the best life possible-she couldn’t provide that as a teenager still learning to be an adult. It is the most selfless act of any woman and truly speaks to an enduring, deep love for her child. My parents made sure to include my birth mom in “my story” and when I was older, turned out we were both looking for each other. I am blessed that I was raised by my parents and equally blessed to be the child of such an amazing, courageous, and unselfish woman. I wish that someday you have the same experience with your child in return for your wisdom and bravery.

    Please, if you haven’t already, please seek some counseling. You deserve the opportunity to have your story heard and the chance to heal.

  • Bonnie (SOAM) Thursday, July 16, 2009, 9:27 am

    Faith, honey, that is BS! The police let you down. There are women’s groups who will help you. Start by contacting local shelters, I bet they can put you in the right direction.

    I read a postsecret card last night that said something like, “Today is my last day as a victim if rape and my first day as a rape survivor!” You can do it!

  • cmom Thursday, July 16, 2009, 11:33 am

    Giving your child up for adoption is one of the bravest, most loving things that you can do. It is so hard, but very courageous.

  • Alexis Thursday, July 16, 2009, 12:45 pm

    I went through the same thing once around the same age I was stoned and told the boy no and he said that we would spread it around that I was doing durgs and was a whore. He was gonna tell my dad as well and tell him I let him in which I did not he just came in while everyone even me where asleep. Its hard on you but that will heal and you will find someone to trust and love I did. You belly is not bad at all. No lie mine was the same way. The stretch marks will heal and use the stuff to help heal them coco butter and more. The weight took 9 months to put on and being young you will have no prob getting it off. My stretch marks are healing and my c- section scare is barley visable but the weight for me is an issue i have to get my galbladder checked. But there is hope for us all.

  • Kym Sunday, July 19, 2009, 9:22 pm

    I don’t often commment but I felt compelled to tell you of the tears streaming down my face. You are a strong, wonderful woman who gave your son the wonderful gift of life and a loving family. You made the best out a rough situation (that was indeed rape) and you are a beautiful person for the choices you made for your son. I wish you the best in all that life holds for you.

  • Samantha Wednesday, July 22, 2009, 10:09 am

    What you did was nothing short of beautiful, as you yourself are. As a woman who has traveled some of the same paths, I admire the courage and selflessness you have exibited at such a young age. Age doesn’t make the woman, her choices do, and you are trully and extrodinary young woman. Your mother is definatly proud of you; of the choices you have made as a woman as well as a mother. Be proud of who you are; it takes some women a lifetime to develope that kind of strength and greatness. God bless you, your family, and all good people involved!

  • Samantha Wednesday, July 22, 2009, 10:12 am

    Also, congrats on the birth of a healthy baby boy. That in itself is a wonderful maricle!

  • Ashley Thursday, July 23, 2009, 10:24 am

    I’m crying too! You are AMAZING! What a mature decision for someone so young! You gave that couple the greatest gift. I’m sure your son will have a wonderful life :)

    I can’t believe the police didn’t do anything! He was older, had you alone, pressured you… and you did say NO! It shouldn’t matter when you said it, if he didn’t stop the second you tried to stop him then it’s rape!

  • kalista Sunday, July 26, 2009, 1:23 pm

    i went through a VERY similar thing. although i was drugged and didn’t remember having sex. i didn’t actually find out i had been raped until i found out i was pregnant. and i also chose to have the baby adopted. i really thought it was a great experience. and i’m so glad you chose to do that as well. it breaks my heart that there are so many really young girls who feel like their only choices are keeping the baby or having an abortion. good for you!

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