My daughter will be 3 months old on the 4th of July. That is coming way too fast for me. I really thought 6 weeks after birth I would be back to pre-pregnancy…Seems like every girl I know bounces right back. I lost 35 pounds in the hospital after I had her. I still am weighing 12 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. I know they say “9 months to gain, 9 months to lose” but I always thought I would be different. I am disappointed in myself for not working out. She is sleeping all night now! From 9pm-6am but she keeps me so busy during the day and isn’t a napper. So, we are always playing and doing things during the day. Then by the time the evening comes I am beat. I really need to find the strength in me to start working out again. I used to be in pretty good shape.
I try to tell myself that none of that matters. My wonderful husband loves me and thinks I am beautiful and my daughter will always look up to me just like I looked up to my mom and still do today. I want her to grow up knowing that all women are beautiful and that I am not ashamed of my body. My stretch marks are the marks of my love for her and my husband. I gave up my youthful looking body to give her life and to give my husband a daughter. We are a family now and my body is what made that happen.
I was so afraid when I became pregnant that I was going to end up with stretch marks on my stomach. I rubbed myself down with every kind of stretch mark cream that exists in hopes of keeping them away. I checked my stomach and had my husband look where I couldn’t see to make sure I hadn’t developed them yet. I was clear of stretch marks by the time I went into the hospital to be induced! Yay, I was so happy! J Right after I gave birth to her though, and I was in the post partum room, I got up to take a shower and SURPRISE. These lovely little marks had appeared under my belly button. I cried and cried to my husband and he told me I was crazy. He said they weren’t that bad and that I got off really lucky. Everyone told me that. I wouldn’t believe them for anything. I thought it was the end of the world. A few weeks after my daughter’s birth, I just decided not to care anymore. Why was I so hung up on it anyway? My daughter was growing up right before my eyes and my husband was dying for my affection and I was just too distracted to notice!
Well, enough of that. I am done feeling sorry for myself or being down about the way my body looks. I am a woman! I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! I am more in love with my husband than I ever have been. Our relationship is better than ever, so obviously my body is not an issue for him. Why is it for me? The stupid media tries to convince me to be skinny right after birth. Sorry, but I am not one of those women that go in for a scheduled C-section and gets a tummy tuck right after. I am not “too posh to push”. I gave birth to my daughter naturally and nobody can take that empowering experience from me. Every woman that has been through pregnancy and birth (c-section or not) should be very proud of themselves because that is a great accomplishment and one of the hardest things on the human body. So, obviously we aren’t going to come out of it mark free! We are going to have marks and scars because our bodies were put through hell.
My daughter is my world. I never want to let her see my insecurities about my body. So, I am starting today. Before she is old enough to be aware of me covering myself up, I am stopping. I am getting out in the sun and wearing a bikini. That’s right, I said bikini. I am going to say to the world, (Or just everyone at the pool) “Hey, this is the shape of a mother, and if you don’t like it, that is YOUR problem, because I am beautiful.” I encourage all of you to do the same, for yourselves, your partners, and your children. We can change the way the world sees mothers, we just have to stop hiding.
Picture 1- Me just got back from the pool
Picture 2- Kiss it society!
Picture 3- Me and my beautiful daughter
Picture 4- The loves of my life