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Still trying to love my new body (Anonymous)

June 21, 2007

this was my original submission

i’m now 7 months postpartum & i’ve actually *gained* 10 pounds since my son’s birth! it’s not fair! i read words like “you’re beautiful” “you gave life” “be proud”, but i just can’t be. i have no problem with my stretch marks; i’m actually pretty stoked about those! it’s the 30 pounds over my normal weight that i’m struggling with. i walk every day, i am eating better – i’ve been a veg*n for 7 years – i have started stretching regularly, but i can’t seem to shed this fat. and then there’s my lopsided breasts. i’m so embarassed to be naked. i can’t understand why my breasts look like they do; my son does not prefer the left over the right, it just happens to produce more & no matter what i do (and believe me, i’ve tried everything) it doesn’t change. i’m considering a breast lift after we’re done nursing. i wish our societal norms were different. i wish that our little girls weren’t bombarded by unrealistic ideals of what a beautiful woman is. it is my duty, as the mother of a little boy, to raise him to appreciate what a woman IS, not what she thinks she should be. i will raise him to be an honest, kind & compassionate man. one that any woman would be lucky to have.







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20 Responses to “Still trying to love my new body (Anonymous)”

  1. Anna Says:
    June 21st, 2007 at 11:54 am

    I admire how you want to raise your son- I intend to do the same with my twin sons. I know that you don’t feel beautiful, but your son will not learn to love and accept any woman for who she is, if you can not lead by example and love yourself for who you are.

    You are a mother, your body has given life to a miracle and your breasts have nourished his growing body.

    There are thousands of women out there who cannot have kids, who will never get to experience motherhood through the beautiful act of breast feeding.

    Buy yourself some sexy bras and underwear. Specifically padded ones- take the pad out of the side of the larger breast so you’ll be a bit more balanced out. and look at yourself that way if you need to. Look in the mirror and complement yourself. It’s hard at first, I know- but do try.

    For the sake of your son and possible future children- please learn to love your curves and honor what it really means to be a woman and mother.

  2. Liz Says:
    June 21st, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    Remember that your son already thinks your body is the most beautiful, perfect woman’s body in the world. Looking at your body through his eyes may help you learn to love it the way he does. I know it’s hard, and I can’t tell you how to do it because everybody’s path to self-love is different. But it is possible.

  3. anonymous Says:
    June 21st, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    I think you are beautiful. I also have one breast that produces more milk than the other (actually, most women do, although some cases are more extreme than others). No matter what I’ve tried, the other breast just doesn’t seem to be able to “catch up”. But that’s ok. As long as my daughter is getting the nourishment she needs, my breasts have done their job. I hope you are able to accept your body without the breast lift…you have done a wonderful thing by giving life and milk to your baby.

    I also admire how you want to raise your son. So much emphasis is put on teaching young girls about healthy body image, but I think it is important for young boys to learn the same. I do agree with Anna, however. You can try and teach a child a lesson until you’re blue in the face, but if you don’t lead by example then your efforts are futile. I hope your son learns about the real beauty of a woman by looking up to his mother and appreciating the perfection of her imperfections :)

  4. Miranda Says:
    June 21st, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    Hi :)

    I totally have the lopsided boob problem too lol and my daughters liked both sides but i just had more milk in one of em.

    btw i love your tatoo .i dont know how you could sit through it though!! i got a small one of my lower back and woohoo!!

  5. marjorie Says:
    June 21st, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    Even if you don’t agree right now, your body is beautiful because it has made and nourished another human being. Probably when you are finished nursing, you will find your breasts will be more uniform. (though they make not be exactly the shape they were before you had your son.)

  6. Diva Says:
    June 21st, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    My heart really goes out to you, reading how you’re struggling to love yourself. And the funny thing is, I DO genuinely think you look wonderful! You are curvaceous, sexy and womanly, and if only you could learn to feel that way about yourself you really WILL be all that and a bag of fries, without needing to change a thing! And those breasts? Sexy, lovely and interesting to boot, what more could a girl ask for?!!

    I agree with the other posters above that the only way to teach your child to appreciate a REAL woman’s body is to BE a real woman and appreciate your body, hard as that is. I wish you much love and even more self-love, in the hopes that you may heal your self esteem and feel as gorgeous as you look.

  7. Alana Says:
    June 21st, 2007 at 9:15 pm

    About the weight thing….get your thyroid checked. Mine was so out of whack after my daughter was born, that I gaind 10-15 lbs and it also started affecting my mood. Doesn’t hurt!!

  8. Antonia Says:
    June 22nd, 2007 at 12:37 am

    I think you have a very beautiful body. I have also lopsided breasts. Your breasts have a sexy shape, they are totally ok and more than this. Don’t be too critical to yourself.

  9. tinifer Says:
    June 22nd, 2007 at 12:52 am

    Hey, good post. First I want to say that I think most women have one breast that is larger than the other. Second, The wierdest thing always happened to me. I have five children, all good sized babies 8-10lbs. I never gained too much during pregnancy, however I would add about fifteen in the proceeding 3-6 months while I breast fed. The weight never went away, no matter what I tried, until I would stop breast feeding, with my last that was 3 long years. I would get so discouraged, but because of previous experience, I knew it would pass. As soon as I would wean, the wieght would just drop right off. Just a thought.

  10. emily Says:
    June 22nd, 2007 at 7:51 am

    You have a beautiful, curvy, womanly figure. I’m jealous of your defined waist – I’ve never had that at any weight.
    You are lovely and more important you are doing a fantastic job raising your little boy.

  11. twinmom Says:
    June 22nd, 2007 at 10:42 am

    Your post brought tears to my eyes, you are so beautiful and your love for your son is so touching. I to think our job of raising sons to respect women is an enormously important one. How wonderful that so many other mothers agree. Your boy does think you are the greatest women in the world. Give your body time to get back to pre-preg shape. It will happen. Just love yourself, you are amazing.

  12. Sarah Says:
    June 24th, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    I love your post and I think you look wonderful. I have 3 daughters and 1 son and I too despise what our society tells our little girls normal is. When I had my first child I truly thought I was the only woman in the wordl whose stomach looked like mine did/does.

    I moderate a very nice fitness forum and I shared this site there. I truly thought other women would jump in and say “wow I look like that too! Thank you!” Of course I was expecting too much and no one did and one person said everyone here looks “gross.” Well gee thanks I guess Im gross too….hubby sure doesnt think so! ;-) It is just horrible women feel that way.

  13. Zoni Says:
    June 28th, 2007 at 4:04 am

    I know what you mean about what our kids see and hear. I have two boys and a girl. I try to teach the boys that it doesn’t matter what a girls body looks like. What matters is in her head and her heart. I have to catch myself sometimes when i am putting myself down. I know they shouldn’t hear me saying that stuff about myself. It’s hard though. I hate how i look and don’t even want to look in the mirror most days.

  14. April Says:
    June 29th, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    My breasts were the same way while breastfeeding! Don’t worry… it’s not that bad after you wean. My breasts, 11 months post-weaning, are not as saggy as I thought they were going to be (after having such large breastfeeding boobs and gaining a good 45 pounds!). They aren’t as perky as they once were… but I don’t think surgery is necessary like I used to imagine. Hang in there. LOVE your body and that it’s able to provide nourishment for your son. It’s truly a beautiful thing. Appreciate that your body can do that. And love it for what it has done for you and your son. It’s an amazing vessel. And you should be SO PROUD OF YOURSELF for giving him the wonderful gift of your Mama’s milk. Kudos to you!

  15. Daisy Says:
    July 30th, 2007 at 7:51 am

    My boobs were pretty lopsided too. My son weaned about a month or so ago. I would have to say they are back to almost the exact same size and shape. Slight difference but not MANY sizes different. There is hope!

  16. sash Says:
    August 15th, 2007 at 8:39 pm

    we look so much alike its ridiculous! my breasts are the same just vice versa, my right produces more milk also… it is funny i can hate my body so willingly, yet looking at yours all i see is a beautiful woman standing there. props to you for posting these pics =)

  17. teresa Says:
    September 6th, 2007 at 12:54 am

    what you say saddens me so much. you have the “logic” of why your body image is so poor, but you don’t feel it, and your son will detect that whether you try to instill a certain belief system in him. a boychild loves others in the “right” way when he sees his parents love themselves and eachother. i am more concerned with him feeling lucky for the love of a woman, than a woman feeling lucky to have him, because he IS lucky to be loved by a woman, even if her breasts are lopsided, even if she has plumpness, oh…wait…he DOES love a woman like that! it’s you. and i bet he feels lucky. i understand your frustration, i went through so much myself, but now i realize that no matter what, i am smart, vital, creative, loving, and, oh yeah, beautiful. you are so brave and should be proud of yourself. your body will continue to transform, the best is yet to come.

  18. Anonymous Says:
    December 4th, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    you do have perky nipples though. i wish i did!

  19. Amy Says:
    February 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    I just wanted to say that I had the lopsided boobs when I was breastfeeding my daughter as well. However, one year after she weaned they are no longer lopsided and almost back to their pre-pregnancy size. So hold out, they will bounce back and a little sag is way better than the side effects from a lift!

  20. Steph Says:
    July 2nd, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    My boobs are large, drooping, and lopsided I have not had a child at all. Purchase undergarment that will reshape your body after you have reached that stage where your child does not need it to produce nourishment. Enjoy your gift from above and raise him in the image of the most high.

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