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Still Trying to Cope with My New Body (Becky)

March 9, 2009

I am a 20 year old stay at home mother of a 15 month old, and while my body has gone back to almost the same, it isn’t how it used to be. I get horribly depressed over the fact that my hips are now wider, and that I’m not the old me anymore. All my life growing up I was considered the small one, and everyone in my life really put an emphasis on my weight. When I found out I was pregnant June 07 (I found out late) I was at a weight of 107lbs 5’5. ( I now weigh 114lbs.) By the time I was due, I had gained 20 lbs, and I became even more depressed, but I just kept telling myself it was for the baby. When my son was born Dec 1st 07, I left the hospital wearing the same size jeans as before, but my skin was all flabby. :( Over a year later, its gotten better, but its not as tight as it used to be. I managed to get back into a bikini this past summer, but felt embarrassed and uncomfortable at the same time. My breasts have sagged, and have stretch marks covering them. I constantly wear a push up bra, but they still aren’t as perky as they were before. I cant really complain though, because my son was worth it, and I would gladly go through this all again for him. And even though my boyfriend likes my curves more now, then before, its still hard to look in the mirror and agree. Maybe someday I can be happy with my body again. Also as a prize to me for having my son, I got a navel piercing. I like it, but I think it emphasizes the loose skin I have in the middle of my stomach. :( -Becky





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29 Responses to “Still Trying to Cope with My New Body (Becky)”

  1. Christine Says:
    March 9th, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    “Loose” skin? I’m not seeing any!

  2. Lee Says:
    March 9th, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    umm if i look like you after my kid i will be super thankful!

  3. Tina Says:
    March 9th, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    Wow you look amazing. I had to read your description a second time to make sure your pictures werent “before baby” pictures! You look as if you were never pregnant! Be proud, you are Beautiful!

  4. Butterfly Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 12:30 am

    You are much too hard to yourself! You are the shape of a top model! I am pregnant right now, I am also very lean and at the moment it seems that I am not gaining too much weight – if I look like you do in those postpartum pics after delivery, I will be sooooo glad…:-)

  5. Melissa Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 12:37 am

    I have to agree with Christine- what loose skin?
    The thing is, unless you have the time and money to invest in looking like you did before there’s really not much chance of looking like you did pre-pregnancy. You could have had it way worse, I can’t see any stretch marks on your stomach or any loose skin. You’re tiny! I know how you feel in that I used to be small before I had my children too. I’m now 26 with my 2nd child (11 weeks) and I have just recently got over the fact that I will never look the same again. And finally I’m ok with that, because people who haven’t had babies say that I look great, and I look better than a lot of people I know who haven’t even had any children! The only thing you can do is accept that you won’t look like you used to, or keep working at it, whatever makes you feel better. Honestly, you look great and I wish I looked the same! Especially because you were young when you had him, you’re body gets over it a lot faster. BTW I am TOTALLY jealous you can wear a bikini. I’ve had to say goodbye to my bikini days. Oh well, it happens, you know?

  6. Misty Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 9:11 am

    Crazy girl! You look terrific.

  7. Andrea Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 9:19 am

    You are just much too hard on yourself, you are beautiful and life is too short to torture yourself over such trivial things. I know it doesn’t seem trivial to you most days, but when you are an old woman do you think you will sit back and say to yourself, “thank god I spent so much time hating my body…that was a great way to spend my time.” Not likely. Enjoy life, be happy – you are gorgeous and you are blessed!!!

  8. Megan Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 9:52 am

    If I were you, I’d be wearing my bikini grocery shopping, walking, to work… haha. You look AMAZING. I’ve never had kids and your body looks so much more fabulous than my own.(and I wear a bikini so you should too – no questions asked.)

  9. toni Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 11:25 am

    wait? what loose skin? are you joking? your stomach is perfect! if you can wear a bikini after having a baby, you look great, and dont forget it!

  10. I-dra Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    the thing about wide hips is that, men like them. they are a subconscious badge of womanhood. most men are not attracted to shapeless, waiflike little girls (some men are, but we don’t waste our time on them, right ladies?). the real truth is that men are drawn to your womanly curves, shapely breasts, you have become the very shape of a mother, of THE mother, and men cannot resist it. my advice is to work it. seriously. work those new sexy hips & enjoy the flat tummy while you have it. beauty fades so quickly, so enjoy it now, in your prime.

  11. Catherine S Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    Ummm, can’t see any loose skin. Just a gorgeous woman with a very flat tummy. Celebrate that fantastic figure that gave you your baby.

  12. mrs. petunia Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    I grew up being “the small one” as well and it really is too bad that people put so much emphasis on body size. My whole identity became wrapped up in being “skinny mini”-probably in part because people were always commenting on how tiny I was. When I went thru puberty I freaked out because I was terrified that I wouldn’t be the same old me and would become beefy. It didn’t happen but I obsessed over it nonetheless and was absolutely miserable and plagued with an eating disorder. Unfortunately, when we invest so much of our self worth in our looks and figure the prospect of any sort of change is very very frightening-even if that change is miniscule, which it REALLY IS in your case. I know you are not likely to believe me but I can assure you, and this is coming from someone who has been extremely critical of her own body, that you have weathered pregnancy very well and really and truly look like you never even had a kid. That being said though, I hope that you can find an inner peace and realize that you are a worth while person even if you loose your killer body (which you haven’t):)

  13. Shealene Says:
    March 11th, 2009 at 12:47 am

    Are these from before you had the baby?

  14. Meghann Says:
    March 11th, 2009 at 6:18 am

    As my mother says to me all the time….

    “If I looked like you, I’d dance naked in the streets.”

    I laugh when she says it to me and take it as the joke I feel it should be with the way my body looks…but in your case ….I would so be a naked street dancer!

  15. Jill Says:
    March 11th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Loose skin? Wide hips? WHERE?? Am I looking at the wrong pic??

    Girl, I gotta tell ya, you look better NOW than I did BEFORE I had kids – and I was skinny too! PLEASE don’t be so hard on yourself. I think what you are seeing and what you really look like are two different things, because you are clearly GORGEOUS and THIN. I can’t even tell that a baby grew inside you! You weigh less now than many of us ever did!

  16. Anon Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 9:14 am

    Perhaps you have Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

    A mental state in which you cannot see yourself for what you truly look like. It sometimes, but not always, goes hand in hand with eating disorders.

    You look good. If you really feel otherwise, check into this. You – and your child – deserve you to be confidant about yourself.

  17. Jilly Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 10:44 am

    Yikes! You’re a hot mommy. Looking like you do now is my goal! Don’t be so hard on yourself. You really have nothing at all to feel bad about when it comes to your body.

  18. Jen Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    I dont want to downplay what youre feeling because your feelings are important, and its your body not anyones else’s, but WOW I will also be dancing naked in the streets if I get to look like this after my daughter is born!

  19. April Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    107 pounds is way underweight for a 5’5″ person. I think 114 is probably underweight too, but you look great. Enjoy your baby and your body!

  20. Samantha Says:
    March 17th, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    a whole 20 pounds?..come on now you look fine.

  21. lilly Says:
    March 18th, 2009 at 10:15 am

    Thanks Anon,
    I was wondering the same and felt sorry for Becky, but for some reason my comment was erased.. I don’t know how moderation works here but I didn’t write spam or insults so I didn’t understand why it was erased…

  22. Grl29 Says:
    March 18th, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    I know we all are our own worst critics but its kind of awesome that you had your son at 20, because your body is absolutely gorgeous and even though it’s not the same as you remember its done something so amazing, created life and given birth. You really look terrific and I hope through the years you come to love your figure even more, as I did when I reached the end of my 20′s.

  23. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    March 19th, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Lilly, I have such a very hard time with moderating anything – ultimately I am against censorship, but in the case of this website, I do moderate comments to protect the mamas here.

    I think this is such a sensitive subject for us all that sometimes seeing someone outside our own personal range of normal is hard to take and I choose to assume that is why there were negative comments for this entry.

    I do not remember your particular comment, Lilly, and I am sorry if my moderation has upset you – I do not presume to know all the right answers and sometimes I probably get overprotective and perhaps mistakenly delete a comment. But any that I deleted had elements I was afraid may possibly be construed as upsetting to the woman who posted. I also think that having had a few comments (some downright rude) for this entry probably made me more protective of it than I would be for another entry.

    I hope that helps to explain myself. Again, I never really know what to do and probably make mistakes along the way. I am sorry if I do.

  24. Laura Says:
    March 20th, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Ok, so I gained 45 pounds with my son, I never looked as good as you BEFORE I got pregnant. You should be thankful, you look like you never even had a baby!

  25. Sarah Says:
    March 21st, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    You look wonderful! I was wondering where the postpartum pics were and if you forgot to upload them!!!

  26. Lindsey Says:
    March 24th, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    I am jealous of women like you who look like you were never even pregnant. I hope you come to realize that women, mothers, go through surgery to end up looking the way you do naturally. I wish my tummy looked like yours.

  27. Taina Says:
    March 26th, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    I think I am blind because I definitely don’t see any loose skin. You look great mama!

  28. Shannon Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    LMAO-I am laughing because after having my daughter at 20 I felt the same way-the “loose skin” she is speaking of is probably only when she bends over or sits down there is a tiny roll of skin. I wish I knew then what I know now as after my second child-things didn’t go back to place-lol-but seriously you are gorgeous and look better than most girls who DON’T have kids!

  29. Shannon Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    OH-and your hips? HOT!

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