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Something I Cannot Fix (Marissa)

January 23, 2012

Age:19
One daughter (Lily), one birth/pregnancy.

I gave birth at the age of 16. Big life change after that moment. I have done great as a mother and as a student. I tried to be perfect in every way and love my daughter to the fullest! She makes my day. =) But many obstacles have shown up, and i conquer them one by one. No one said it would be easy. But yet again, no ever said that your body would be least of your worries. I am insecure and depressed. At 140 lbs, 5ft4 I think about my weight everyday and about food. I hate mirrors and a flaw is always on my mind. It makes me feel worse. Stretch marks cover my breasts, under my arms, behind my legs and all over my stomach, butt and thighs. Why me? Every other teen who got pregnant was able to flaunt in a bikini the very next day. Why did i get all scarred up? It was sad when i had to hide in the changing rooms at school and girls would give me disgusting looks and tell me they hope they disappear soon. I sadly tell them they are permanent scars and they reply back, “Really? Ew. I will never get pregnant then.” It just bums you out when you have to be nervous about wearing shorts or having a muffin top. My stomach is like a w shape, and has loose skin. My breasts are small, but not perky and full. I want to feel beautiful and sexy. I just want to stop worrying about my looks. I just need to learn that i cannot fix it and move on. My toddler is the only thing that should matter to me. I love it when she grabs my belly and gives it kisses. I smile and tell her she once lived in there.

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17 Responses to “Something I Cannot Fix (Marissa)”

  1. amber Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:37 am

    Your still. Beautiful. We have similar stories.. and your belly looks just like mine if not better… Search blessed and tortured… Your damn sexy and great curves..

  2. jackie Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:59 am

    i feel your pain hun! i had my son at 16 also.. 8 months ago.. i got stretch marks from groth spurt on my outter thigh near my knee.. and some on my inner thigh.. i gained only like 14 pounds my pregnancy (129lbs) and lost it in 2 months till i weighed 98lbs.. i got stretchmarks all over my butt inner thighs KNEES! and some more on my outter thigh.. only alittle on my tummy though but i wish they were there instead of my legs! hun you are gorgeous though! i guess we just didnt get great skin though!

  3. shannon Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:29 am

    First of all, I think you look beautiful! You do not look overweight in the least bit. We have to remember that our bodies change after pregnancy (hips widen, etc.) and what was once our “normal weight” may not be the same!

    Your “friends” suck! They have no idea what it is to carry another human being. They are immature children…you are a mother. The fact that they do not want kids just because of some stretchmarks proves how immature and petty they really are. I had my kids pretty young as well (1st pregnancy at 19 and 2nd at 22)…I too have stretchmarks and loose skin, but my kids are worth it! I will just keep working out and hope it improves.

    You are a beautiful mother/woman :)

  4. David Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Marissa,
    My wife found this web site and showed me it. You will find there are many other young women who feel like you do. Your body is very pretty even with the stretch marks. Forget the prissy girls who treat you the way they do because I believe that God blesses everyone one way or another for how they treat others. Be picky about companions in the future and pray for them before you have even met them. You will find a man that will love as you are and to him you WILL be the most beautiful woman in the world.

  5. Lindsey Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Hey.. I got pregnant at 15, and had my daughter at 16 as well (And I’m 19 right now).. I read your story and it reminded me of myself, except I’m not going to school. I didn’t get the same stomach as you, but I have stretch marks EVERYWHERE. My ass (even in my ass crack, lol…) My things (all around my thighs) the back of my calves, all over my waist, my stomach, and they completely cover my boobs. My daughter just turned 2 in December.. I still haven’t lost the baby weight.. I used to be 145, I know weigh 163.. It’s a major bummer, and I still try to hide from mirrors.. So just know that you’re not alone. I think: What’s the point in working out and getting thin again if I’m still going to be covered in all these damn stretch marks? I have NO motivation (I’m sitting here eating chocolate right now as I’m typing this…..) Food is my comfort, and that’s why I gained so much weight :( . I’m dreading summer time with all the girls who are going to be wearing shorts and bikinis because I have stretch marks all over my legs and choose not to show off my stretch marks because they’re embarressing.. Blah. Hopefully soon you’ll feel great about yourself, you have a beautiful face and you look really skinny. I hope the best for you :) . I heard working out gives people a “good energy”.. Maybe try that?

  6. chris Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Marissa,

    Maturing to a mom is not an easy feat, let alone doing it at 16. You have done just that, matured into a very caring mom. Your daughter Lily is lucky to have you as a mom and role model. You kept up with education (NEVER STOP!) and raising a daughter. KUDOS!! Please keep going as far as you can with your education, you will find it rewarding and you daughter will find it inspiring!!

    Inspiring? “Me?,” you might say. OF COURSE YOU!! The ignorant remarks from your peers clearly shows their immaturity AND lack of grasp on the “real world.” I think you are perfect just the way you are. Seems to me, Lily does too! You are beautiful on the outside, and I think that comes from the beauty you have within you. Intelligence, strength, and courage are more “sexy” than anything photo-shopped into an unreal perception of what a woman is.

    Help your daughter grow up and mature in an environment that lets her know that her mom is a beautiful woman and that inner beauty and outer beauty are naturally individual and unique. Keep an open mind and open heart.

    Best wishes to YOU & your daughter.

    “I wish closed minds came with closed mouths.”, not sure who

  7. mystory Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    You look great and don’t let anybody tell you any different. I know that it is hard to believe that you are beautiful whenever you don’t feel that way, but eventually you’ll get a brighter perspective on the way you look and begin to accept the way you are. I know this because i am going through the process of trying to believe i’m beautiful right now. If you believe that you’ll never feel comfortable in your own skin it won’t happen. If there’s one thing i’ve learned it’s that you have to make the change and not anyone else. Your boyfriend or husband or friends can tell you that you’re beautiful all the time but none of it will matter until you believe it yourself. You are a strong woman, you had a baby at 16 and from what you say you’re a great mom. You’ve accomplished a lot more than most at your age. You are beautiful inside and out. I hope you feel better soon!:)

  8. L Says:
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    Wow i feel like im looking at pictures of myself. You could be my twin almost literally. Same hair color and everything…I have the same stomach and side marks. Shape and everything.Im 24-my son is 5 and daughter is 3. I was married at 18 had him at 19. So my dr told me your still a “teen” I had forgotten.. my husband is 6 yrs older so I’ve always felt older than I am. I was 19 with a new born and I felt like a body of an old woman. Im 5’5 I currently gained some weight but after my daughter was born I lost all the weight and some down to like 130. Even then I was bummed about my stretches but you know I take comfort that most pregnant women get them. Only 4 people have seen my stomach. My sisters my mother in law during labors and my husband. I was so embarrassed to show it but now I don’t really care. I am so busy work kids church friends life .. who cares what those girls think they are selfish brats.. most of them will get pregnant one day and probably get stretch marks. I felt bad for girls with them but didnt think theythe were ugly when I saw them before I was pregnant. I wished I didn’t get them but did. I see others with them and I don’t think they are gross but I think mine are. Its not the marks themselves its the texture mine are stretch rips not stretchmarks. But oh well I live and breathe my kids I don’t have time for unkind or judgemental little girls or even mean snobish women I meet. Just love your life and your little girl. Keep her your focus and you’ll be fine. Be confident and rock your body!!

  9. Stacy Says:
    January 24th, 2012 at 12:55 am

    You. Are. Beautiful!

  10. Adam Says:
    January 24th, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Trust me you look great. If I was single I would definitely ask you out. Don’t worry, you will be fine.

  11. Traci Norris Says:
    January 27th, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    you are gorgeous so live knowing you are a hot mommy…

  12. Lama Says:
    January 29th, 2012 at 12:55 am

    140 pounds, really? You mean you were 140 when you were pregnant? From the pictures, you look more like 110 or less. You are pretty and skinny. You seem to have a model body, and your boobs are very nice – I really mean it. Even though you pulled your pants really low, I still cannot see any W-shape on your stomach – maybe you are the only one who sees it. :) I had plenty of stretchmarks on my thighs even before I got pregnant, but you know what? My husband thinks stretchmarks are pretty, like a decoration on the body. I am sure your classmates were jealous of your face and your body, so stretchmarks was the only thing that comforted them. :) :)

    If you look at the Miss Universe 2011 bikini pictures, you’ll see that your stomach is better shaped than hers, but she still won the title and surely feels very confident of her body. :)

  13. Jessica Says:
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    OMG I cried when i was reading this story and other peoples comments. I’m 19 and have a 2 year old son and a 4 month old daughter so i TOTALLY know how you feel about your peers, I dropped out of school because of people like them but i did get my GED. My body looks alot worse than yours i promise, it looks like i have a built in skin apron that has alot of wrinkles in it lol. I looked like a model before having kids but I went from 114 lbs to 205 lbs. Im down to 147 now but i did want to let you know your not alone!!! This website is amazing because finally women and girls have a place to come and realize there not aliens lol

  14. ryzy Says:
    February 13th, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    sorry guys i just happened to stumble upon this site accidently…. I have to say all of you look perfectly fine to me,i think your all beautiful!! And as for Marrissa i think your right about something ya cant fix, cause from what im seein’ from your photos theres nothing to fix!! your absolutely gorgeous!!!

  15. Karini Says:
    February 21st, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    I commented on your other post I’m 17 gave birth a year ago and I feel the exact same way as you I saw other teens who had kids and when I found out I was pregnant I thought hey so I probably will be ok but I was wrong I ended up with stretchmarks EVERYWHERE! Except my arms and face lol and I just hate it I can’t stand it but I cant do anything about it. I wish this didn’t impact me so much and I did’t think about it all the time but I can’t idk what to do anymore. I’m so insecure and it hothers my bf so much that I’m so insecure he doesn’ care about them but I do. This kind of makes me feel better tho to know I’m not the only one. Thanks for your post :)

  16. Ashley Says:
    June 27th, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    Hey, Im 20 and I just gave birth to my son Makai 9 months ago. Im 5’7 weighed 147 before I got pregnant, 206 at delivery and I currently weigh 144. Even though I lost the weight relatively fast I still have loose skin on my tummy and after breastfeeding for 4 months my breasts dissapeared completely (from a full C to an A) but I find that my stomach and my breasts look alot like yours. I know I still look good but when Im around other girls my age and their bodies without children It reminds me of what I used to look like and In my head I always say I coulda looked better than you If I never had a baby but I find that our tummy and breasts look VERY similar and looking at your pictures which I think you look very sexy helped me realize that I am my toughest critic. And it is very comforting to know I am not the only one whose skin turned out this way. Girl we are sexy, and were sexier now than before because we gave life to another human being. You’re beautiful.

  17. Shawn Says:
    August 21st, 2013 at 8:05 pm

    I think you are being way too hard on yourself. The first thing I noticed is how great your skin looks. You have a great body and trust me, a guy doesn’t say ewww. I hope you one day see the beauty that you have. :)

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