I’m finally healing on the inside as well as out. I am 18.5 months postpartum. My daughter Shannon was born via cesarean after 46 hours of labor and it was quite the blow for me. She also had an unknown birth defect (omphalocele) that required surgery the day after her birth. I didn’t hold my daughter until two days after she was born.
My journey to motherhood has been painful and my ability to bond with my daughter was severely crippled due to the trauma of the c/s and the following surgery and NICU stay. I finally feel I am beginning to heal from that. Part of it is forgiving my body and learning to accept the physical changes. I recently lost 20 pounds and am finally beginning to accept myself as I am. As I look at these pictures, I see so many scars that each have a story. I myself had surgery as a baby and I still have the scars from that and the feeding tube. It’s an additional link of commonality with my daughter. The stretch marks and especially the c/s scar are barely noticeable these days.
Ignore the bruise – I have taken up hoop dancing as part of my journey to accept myself.
My daughter is the sweetest little girl I could ever imagine. I am so blessed to have her and I treasure every moment. Although I would change the experience of her birth if I could, it IS still worth it. I can finally say that.
The first five pictures are me currently. The 6th is my daughter and the 7th is my belly at 35 weeks.