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Saggy Baggy Mama (Anonymous)

March 25, 2010

I never expected to want to be a mother.
I never expected to enjoy being a mother.
I never expected that I could love anyone so much.
I never expected to describe myself as uncooked dough that had been mauled by a bear.

I did want to be a mother, I do enjoy being a mother, and I love my son more than I could ever have imagined. And yes, I describe my stomach as appearing to be uncooked dough that has been mauled by a bear.

My pregnancy was exhausting. I had all these grandiose plans about eating right and exercising throughout my pregnancy, but they lasted all of one week. Then the fatigue set in and didn’t let up until about 17 months post partum. I spent the majority of my pregnancy sleeping or in front of the computer. Some days I could barely drag myself out of bed. There was no working out and there was no cooking delicious and nutritious foods. I gained over 70lbs. Already overweight pre-pregnancy, I was huge and constantly asked if I was carrying twins.

After my son was born, I gained a new appreciation for my breasts as they nourished him (every hour!). I also gained a new respect for my body as a whole. It had accomplished an amazing feat! Respect I had, but not love. I had expected my body to look somewhat distorted after I gave birth, but I figured that it would slowly go back to what it had been. I was very wrong.

About 2 months post partum my husband caught a glimpse of me in only panties. I could see in his face how disappointed and even disgusted he was at the sight. I almost cried. He didn’t mean for me to see. He loves me and swears he still finds me attractive, but his face that night was enough to hurt me deeply. Especially since at 17months post partum, while I’m slightly smaller, my stomach still pretty much looks the same. I’m like the Saggy Baggy Mama.

I have not yet come to accept and love my body. Maybe someday I will. It was worth it, because my son is the light of my life and every day he makes my world a little brighter. And he loves his mama, even if she looks like uncooked dough that has been mauled by a bear.

Age – 28
1 pregnancy and birth (hopefully more to come)
17 mo post partum

032510-anon2-1

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11 Responses to “Saggy Baggy Mama (Anonymous)”

  1. Lulu Says:
    March 25th, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    While I was still in the hospital after giving birth, the first thing my 10 year old brother did was touch my belly and he said, “Hmm! I love mama flab!” My mother then said, “It’s true. He squeezes mine every day!”
    ‘Mama flab’ isn’t so bad after all!

  2. B.C. Says:
    March 26th, 2010 at 7:20 am

    Sweetie, I do know how you feel! But the truth is you don’t look as bad as you think. Your stretch marks have faded and you have a lovely hour glass shape and your tummy isn’t big at all. Now that you have your energy back I suggest focusing on your health by eating right and working out … walking, weight training whatever works for you. Take the focus off your perceived flaws and put it on what’s truly wonderful and joyful in your life, which you definitely have! Your health, a loving, supportive husband and a precious child … you are a wealthy woman in the things that really count in life.
    Be kind to yourself … :)

  3. Sarah Says:
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    I know how you feel! I’ve definitely gained more respect for my body. It isn’t perfect, but it has nourished a perfect baby girl. :)

  4. kimber Says:
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    i’m so glad i saw this today! i was talking to my mother in law yesterday and she was saying how great i “finally” looked after my baby (he’s 8 months now). i told her thanks and that i was still working on the extra tummy skin still. she looked at me like i’d grown another head. she had NEVER heard of having extra skin hanging around after a baby. i showed her mine and she looked so confused/grossed out. she has three kids herself. glad to now i’m not as “freakish” as she thinks. geez. you’re awesome and your post helped me. thank you!

  5. Alex Says:
    March 28th, 2010 at 9:06 am

    I like the honesty of your picture as it exemplifies what this website is all about. There are many photos on here of young women who’s body image is severly distorted, whose bodies are still lithe and firm and hardly affected by pregnancy. I didn’t manage to stick to a healthy diet or do much exercise during pregnancy and as a result I am left with excess weight and saggy skin. However I choose to love myself by eating better, exercising a little and dressing well. I have never been or never will be able to match the media image of the stick thin model but then again neither do I want to.

    Our bodies are vehicles for our souls and it is how we shine from the inside that matters.

    I for one think the saggy baggy mama looks pretty good and I bet your son thinks so too.

  6. Bianca Says:
    April 4th, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    I couldn’t agree with Alex more! this site although with excellent intentions does seem to feature alot of ‘fit’ looking mothers that are almost competing with one another…exactly what we don’t need as post partum mothers! lets keep it real… the majority of new mothers I know look like above, inlcuding myself. I am now 30 weeks pregnany with my seond child and am enjoying that this is the only time in my life that I can enjoy a new shape, wear tight clothes and show off my paunch with pride …afterwards a different story! but I’m not ashamed to admit that without surgery i would never look like half the young woman featured on this site, a fact I’m proud of. I’ve even found that a lot of the feedback given on photos although positive always has a spin of “dont worry, you can always do this, or use that to make it a little better” ..how about “you know what, if it never changes, dont worry, you shouldnt need to try, you have children that need you now and love and appreciate you no matter how you look!”

  7. Jessica Says:
    April 12th, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    :D I love Bianca’s comment above! Although a great many would probably dub me as one of “those mamas” who is fairly fit post partum, I believe that we all need to feel comfortable and love ourselvese EXACTLY as we are right now, and its a struggle for some everyday to find that inner light, but we all have it. I LOVE YOUR PICTURE and story, it made me laugh and smile and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Don’t ever let anyone tell you different!

  8. Brittney Says:
    June 4th, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    I think you look amazing and you have an awesome body you stretch marks will fade with time and tan, i think you look just fine altho my body is very similar to yours after my baby.

  9. Nicole Says:
    June 5th, 2010 at 10:08 am

    I now have a way to describe my mommy tummy too! can not imagine trading my 2 girls for my pre-preggo tummy. I agree that seeing these young girls with a few stretch marks and a little belly pouch is unrealistic.

  10. The (Real) Shape of a Mother | Being Pregnant Says:
    August 12th, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    [...] posted by real women in various stages of motherhood. Some have toned torsos but most share their stretch marks or dimples or belly flaps or saggy boobs. There are round bodies, jiggley bodies and scarred [...]

  11. Sarah Says:
    August 25th, 2010 at 8:59 am

    My tummy is just like yours! I know it will never be flat and scar less ever again, I am not rich and not a celebrity, I am a normal woman. We have bore children, our bodies are amazing and capable of creating and fostering life! Can men do this with their bodies? Ha, I think not, but if they did stretch marks would merely be battle wounds to be proud of, not mocked!

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