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Rebuilding the Body (Annie)

July 10, 2009

Age-21
Children-1 (a 2 year old)
C Section birth

I want to thank you for making this site. It is so wonderful to know I am not alone, because here in person I really am. And I thought I was. And I am so excited to read everything on here and see that I am not.

Pregnancy was supposed to be the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. But I felt like a bad person because I hated every minute of it. I had morning sickness from the day I found out (8 weeks along) to the week after I had my son. I was a small girl that liked showing off my body. I was over weight when I entered puberty (almost 200 pounds at 12 years old) and I worked so hard to loose the weight. I finally got down to 110 pounds when I was 17 and I loved my size but I still felt like I had so much to work on.

I moved out of state to the other side of the country to be with my sons father and he did his best to make my pregnancy comfortable. It was hard making friends. All the girls that were my age with kids were not very good parents at all. They all had great bodies with little to no stretch marks and left their kids with their mom all week long to go hang out, party. I thought I would bounce back as fast as them when I had a kid. I was so wrong.

I gained 100 pounds with my son. I had a high risk pregnancy because I hadn’t gained any weight from all the throwing up. I was put on a diet that blew me up. I got so big, I have stretch marks all down my legs, the back of my calves, my tummy, and my sides.

So there I was, 19 years old, a size 14, 210 pounds and depressed. My husband (35 years old) told me that he loved me inside but my outside was a turn off and he couldn’t make love to me. He slept with all my “friends” and would constantly turn me down, telling me they got in shape fast and I should too.

I was so depressed. He left me saying that I was a downer and was turning his life sour. I am still torn up so badly over it. He made me feel like my body was worthless, like I was less of a person because of how I look. I hated myself so badly. I was so hard on myself. I moved back home, and my friends that had kids came by to visit. All of them back to their old size only 2 months later, and without a stretch mark on their bodies. I got so depressed I . It was a big turninhad tried to kill myself. I felt like I didn’t deserve to live, no one would ever want me because my body.

It was a big turning point in my life, where I decided I needed a real change.

I have worked hard on my body since then. I have a great stretch mark remedy that I practice often (derma roller and vitamin e cream and body scrub, it works pretty well!). I am now at 140 pounds, a size 7 (or 9 sometimes but I seem to have a permentent muffin top in anything I wear) and I am doing my best to stay happy and positive. I still break out in bouts of depression over my body, but I have an amazing new boyfriend who has been my best friend for years, and I have a great 2 year old that means the world to me. I hope one day I get into a bikini again. I think I will. But it is going to take a lot of love from myself and hard work to do it…

Now I am 21 years old. My son just turned 2, and I am thinking I might have another one, but not for another 5 or so years.

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16 Responses to “Rebuilding the Body (Annie)”

  1. Alicia Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 10:20 am

    You are entirely gorgeous!!
    Wow you worked so hard and look fantastic.
    So proud of you for finding positive people to be around, that care for you and your son very much too.

  2. Healthnut mama Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Your story brought me to tears. How can your baby’s father be so cruel? You look so beautiful! I am so happy that you have found real love. Congratulations on having a beautiful child as well. You deserve the best in life.

  3. mela Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    You look fabulous.Im not just saying that. You have such a nice shape. The stretch marks look good, they are very light, and the skin is pretty tight. I would die to have a body like yours. I was thin before i had kids, and now im overweight an have tons of stretch marks and loose skin. To me your one of those girls you admire, and i ask myself, why cant i have a body like yours?

  4. mrs. petunia Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    Wow, you have come through so much. I am in awe of your inner strength AND outer beauty! You have a lovely curvy waist and hip structure. I’m sure that new boyfriend is enjoying your great womanly figure! Also, I’m SO glad that you’ve made some peace with who you are and are not allowing the cruel words and actions of your former boyfriend to control how you see yourself. I’m sure you already know this but he is simply an arrogant ass who doesn’t deserve someone as special as you. From your story I can tell that you have an amazing inner strength and determination and are one fierce mama! You have inspired me to stay positive and strong! THANK YOU!

  5. karina Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    hello there! Omg, your body is beautiful! Im so sorry to hear about all you have been through… your husband did not deserve you and I cannot believe that he told you those horrible untrue things… you are gorgeous! I think your stretch marks look pretty good! I too have many in the places you described, but i love them. Sometimes I think about a tummy tuck to battle the soft skin left behind from my pregnancy 9 months ago, but I would HATE to lose my stretch marks, I really do love them! One day I will post on here… and you will see how truly blessed you are and how gorgeous you are! Your body is beautiful and dont listen to anyone who tell you otherwise. I would not take the time out to write this if it was not! I wish you all the best! take care and continue being a great mom to your baby!

  6. Nataku Says:
    July 11th, 2009 at 5:27 am

    I just wanted to say thank you for sharing that with us. As women we do change shape when we have kids and its great that you have seen the light in this. You look great, you deserve happiness and you will get it. Even though i dont know you i am so proud of how far you have come and the fact that you continue to try despite that bad setbacks. Good on you and best of luck.

    PS… Your ex boyfriend is a effin bastard!!!!!!

  7. Angèle Says:
    July 11th, 2009 at 6:07 am

    Im so sorry you had such a bad experience! Your attitude now is great!! You look HOT! Rock that size 7-9!! Curves are better than not! You are woman now! Did I mention Poo on your ex!! xo

  8. Ashley Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 12:25 am

    I hope Karma finds you ex!

    Way to be strong! You’re looking great, I’m glad you are working on your body for YOU and not some heartless jerk!

  9. Ashley Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 12:26 am

    edit *I hope Karma finds your ex!*

  10. Amy Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 2:30 am

    When i read that you put on 100 pounds during your pregnancy and that this was all towards the end of your pregnancy i thought “uh-oh, this is not going to end well”- after i read the rest and scrolled down to your photos i couldn’t believe how good you looked! you’ve obviously got very resilient skin and also have a nice proportionate shape. You look great now (think how much you have achieved already)- but i have a feeling that with your determination you’ll be in exactly the shape you want in sooner than you think. PS your ex obviously tried to destroy your self-worth with those statements, but thankfully what he has said has had the opposite effect!

  11. Alex Says:
    July 13th, 2009 at 11:38 am

    I am so glad you are not with the father of your baby anymore. What a damaging and unsafe relationship to be in! You look amazing now and I think that just goes to show your strength and determination. Also I admire you for recognizing what it takes to be a good parent regardless of age. Congratulations.

  12. Stacie Hulm Says:
    July 14th, 2009 at 10:09 am

    Good for you for coming through such a difficult time in your life!

    The perspective that you’re gaining is a valuable and powerful life lesson.

    The father of your baby sounds like he is on the fringes of being a pedophile – a 35 year old man getting involved with such young women and having an obsession with unmarked / pubescent bodies.

    I’m 34 now – I used to date one of these guys from the ages of 14-22. The world would be a better place if men like this could learn how to grow up and get a clue about what’s really important in life.

    “Men” like this aren’t men – they are little boys.

    Anyway … that’s his life struggle, and shortcoming as a human being; no need for you to be brought down by it.
    (you can tell him I said that and give him my email address if he’d like to discuss it) ;P

    Either way, he is emotionally stunted and he, and the “friends” of yours that he slept with, are the ones with the problem – not you.

    You sound like a strong, articulate and wise woman. Let that be your strength. Although I think that you look really good physically – remember that that’s ephemeral – and not what makes a lasting impression. Who you are inside does that.

    God bless and all the best!

  13. Molly Says:
    July 14th, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    You look great!

    And EVERYBODY has a muffin-top in jeans that don’t rise very high. If you get jeans that fit farther up to the waist it’s much more flattering. :)

  14. Jennifer Says:
    July 15th, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Hey!!! Your body is just like mine!!!! My son is turning 2 in Sept. I know what you mean its so hard to feel Sexy with this soft flabby mess of a stomach! UGHHH getting depressed just thinking about it. Its hard to give in and wear the mom jeans!!

  15. ashley Says:
    July 15th, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    was it much worse than that and got better progressively or is that how you looked from like 6 months postpartum, cause either way you look great and i want to know if i can look forward to that, please email me Ashley.raposo@Hotmail.com thanks, you look so fabulous, wishing i had your belly

  16. bec Says:
    July 16th, 2009 at 1:09 am

    I feel your pain i was 19 when i had my first son and was covered in stretch marks down to my ankles!!! he is 6 now so im learning to deal with it and take him swimming every week somethinh i would of never done a few years ago! Im going on hol next week and for the first time in 7 years have packed the bikini and going to wear it with pride! I still go through feelings of its just not fair when i see other mums showing there flat mark free bellys but hey ho nothing you can do about it that just the way nature goes. good luck to you you look fab!!

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