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Needing Some Support (Sarah)

August 31, 2010

Hello, my name is Sarah and I am 23 years old, and I have never been pregnant. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, and we have been trying to conceive since we got married. However, we’ve obviously been unsuccessful. I went to the doctor and they scheduled a pap test and a pelvic ultrasound. Lo and behold, the 4 letters I didn’t want to hear… PCOS. I knew it, I just knew it.. I’ve always had problems with my menses since I was about 14, and I have been overweight my whole life. I thought I had finally got it under control because about 3 years ago, I lost 70 pounds and my period started right back up (albeit I did it very unhealthily.. I refused to eat and I worked out 3-4 hours a day.) I … it was normal for about 2 years, and then (as we all do) I got married and gained some of the weight back. Then all at once, poof. I was right back where I started. I have been trying to diet and exercise, but due to the PCOS it is extremely hard… and I am getting discouraged.

All my friends have babies, and they never had a problem having children. I can’t help but be jealous of them. I have cried countless bitter tears over it… I feel like a failure, because my body doesn’t work like it’s supposed to… The one purpose my body can serve me, to bring another little life into the world, and I can’t even do it. I’ve visited this site for a year now and I have read so many wonderful stories and my yearning for a baby has just gotten stronger. I just wanted to share my story and get some support from other women who suffer with PCOS as well. Thanks for reading… :)

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18 Responses to “Needing Some Support (Sarah)”

  1. sarah Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 8:12 am

    I have no experience in this so I’m not going to say “oh, I know how you feel.” I don’t. I am so sorry-and you are not a failure. You have love to give and that makes you amazing.

  2. Jodi Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 10:46 am

    I have to say that i do know how you feel. I spent 5 years wishing and praying that I would one day be able to have a baby to call my own. I heard so many stories of how so and so just found out they were having a ____ and were mad because they wanted a ____. All I could think about was “excuse me? a baby is a miracle no matter what sex” but 2 years ago we started the IVF process. With my husbands lack of sperm and what he did have were “stupid” and my one ovary, I was able to have my own little miracle. I know this isn’t what you want to hear but just know that there is options out there. Try going to a Dr that knows about infertility and ask him what your options are. There is still a chance of you sharing your love with your own little one.

  3. Colleen Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    I don’t have PCOS and I don’t have any close friends that do, but I have a friend from high school that is on her third PCOS pregnancy. The first two were conceived with medications of some sort (she never said what), but this third one was completely natural and a complete surprise. There are many wonderful things they can do nowadays to help women in your situation (okay, the things themselves aren’t wonderful, but the outcome is!). You’re not a failure, your body just need a little nudge to get going. Good luck, it will happen someday.

  4. Susy Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    I’m not sure if I’m allowed to share links on here, but search for a forum called twoweekwait. It’s a trying to conceive and mommy forum. You’ll find tons of women there with pcos. Some in your position that you could relate to, and tons of success stories that could give you hope. I love it there.

  5. Tiphanie Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    Im so sorry you’ve been having such a hard time. And as HARD as it is to do,, de-stressing WILL help. You are very young,, if you just concentrate on YOU right now (getting healthy,,, well, the healthy way :) and do some things you enjoy and still work with the doctors,,you always have a chance at getting pregnant. A relative of mine has PCOS,, told she couldnt get pregnant,, and has a healthy six year old boy. It can take people with now deterrents at least 18 mo. to get pregnant and is normal,, so give yourself a bit of a break,,and work on making your body, heart and mind the healthiest place for a baby to live, and it just may happen! Best of Luck to you!

  6. Tiphanie Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    That should be WITHOUT any deterrents , sorry!

  7. Sarah Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    Thank you all so much for the encouraging words…and Jodi, I definitely agree with you, it upsets me too when people are disappointed in the sex of their baby. I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s mine I’m gonna love it! Something else that gets me, is when people have a child and they don’t take care of it… If you can’t take care of your child, then give it to someone (like me) who really wants it :) A quick update: I am going to the doctor in the morning for some medication for my PCOS & get started on an exercise program, and they’ll monitor me for a few months.. so my fingers are crossed!!

  8. Tracy Says:
    August 31st, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    I don’t know how you feel, I don’t have pcos but I was told to forget about getting pregnant, plan a trip and just relax after a year of trying I became pregnant. hope it helps a little :)

  9. Nik Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    I can relate to you, I also have PCOS (and share your outlook on children).Don’t give up! There are med’s, exercise, and weight loss (which the meds will make easier) to help you.
    I struggle with PCOS in different ways (symptoms) and it can be very depressing. But don’t let this condition devalue how you view yourself as a person, as a woman.

    Keep your head up. I hope to see you posting again soon for a much different reason!

  10. Kim Says:
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:27 am

    I’ve got a girlfriend with PCOS who is trying to conceive her second – her doctor has her on some new sort of ‘diet’ where they’re attempting to control her blood sugar (she’s overweight and borderline diabetic) – I guess there have been some studies showing that if you can get the blood sugars under control it might help you ovulate.

    Might be something to look in to! Good luck!

  11. Erin Says:
    September 10th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    I do have PCOS and have been in your shoes. It did not take quite as long for us to conceive but our stories are quite similar. I was able to conceive through hard work and weight loss without the use of fertility drugs even though Dr’s didn’t believe it was possible. My advice is to just keep going, I really learned to love exercising and stopped focusing on the weight loss and the ultimate goal of having a baby. In the end, you will be stronger as a person and a couple to have gone through this and when your baby is born you will never take the miracle for granted, as so many people do. Best of Luck and Never give up!

  12. Marz Says:
    November 3rd, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    You are NOT a failure! You’re doing everything you can to make your situation better. I’m your age and 37.5 weeks along, and I felt like a failure because I got pregnant in the first place. Then I felt like a failure because I was more concerned about my weight than my unborn son’s health. Then I felt like a failure because me and my husband weren’t hitting the sheets nearly as often.
    But you have to try to stay positive, although I’ll be the first to admit it’s easier to be negative. I’m a success because I managed to hold off a rapant eating disorder for nearly 38 weeks. I’m a success because I did my best to eat good foods and exercise every day.
    Likewise, YOU are a success. You were told you had a medical issue and you did your best to heighten your chances of conceiving. You are a success because you are with a loving man who supports you and wants to make a baby with you. You are a success for being so strong in the face of your friends having what you want so badly. You are a success because PCOS will not keep you from what you want the most. And all your successes will make you a successful mother. Because you had to fight for it.
    You will never be a failure.

  13. Christin Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    I totally understand how you feel. I have PCOS and it is horrible. But don’t give up hope. I have two wonderful children. I had to have hep getting pregnant in the form of Clomid. Both times I was trying, I was told the Clomid wasn’t working, and I would have to do something more invasive. But both times, it worked on my last cycle. Good luck to you!

  14. Jessica Says:
    February 1st, 2011 at 6:15 am

    I too have PCOS and my husband and I tried for 5 years to have a baby. I have had two miscarriages but am happy to say the third time was a charm, my little boy is 7 months old today.

    Try to stay positive – I know it’s hard to do when it seems like everyone else is having babies with no problem. I just wanted to let you know that it is possible to have the family that you want and to not give up. Good Luck!

  15. ashley Says:
    April 30th, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    your story is no news to me. i’m 23 years old as well, and my fiance of two years and i have been trying to get pregnant for well over a year. i not only have pcos, but i also have cirrhosis of the liver. i am such a high risk case that even specialists don’t know how to help me. it’s a hard thing to go through, but don’t ever think that you’re alone. you will be successful one day. i tell myself that every morning, every time i look at myself in the mirror and wonder what i did to deserve this.

  16. Erin Says:
    August 4th, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Hi I just wanted to share with you that I too have PCOS and struggle to lose weight! I used Clomid to help me get pregnant and thought maybe this may work for you too. As for the weight loss part of it, I started using Visalus products which were approved by my doctor, I am proud to say that I have lost weight and am still losing!! Plus I have more energy and since I feel so great have now turned this into my new part time business because I want ppl to know that there is hope especially those who struggle with PCOS!!! Please check out my site and I hope you decide to try something that actually works and is actually healthy for you! Plus is tastes great!www.littleone.myvi.net

  17. Christina Says:
    May 6th, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    I can honestly say I know just how you feel. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 18 RIGHT after I got married. I know how disheartening this can be. My advice to you is to ask your doctor about taking Metformin. They use it a lot to help women with PCOS get pregnant. It helps you lose a little weight, I won’t lie it is not overly pleasant to start, side effects that are VERY common are diarrhea! They think that’s what helped me get pregnant, I say that it’s the fact that we are a military family and my husband was gone for over 6 months but what do I know?! If that doesn’t help, ask about Clomid, I have a few friends with PCOS that used that and it did the trick, one got pregnant on the first round the other one the second. Also have another friend with PCOS that had invitro done. All these choices are completely up to you. I didn’t chose to be on Metformin to get pregnant I was on it because I was borderline diabetic and in the military and desperately trying to lose weight so I could stay in the military. They say that any type of exercise helps too. They can also do ovarian drilling on you to help with the cysts if yours are bad, I had this done and it really did help. I had a lot of pain associated with my cysts and this eliviated a lot of that pain.

  18. karen Says:
    November 13th, 2013 at 7:25 am

    I have PCOS. Your only 23 you have PLENTY of time so don’t worry. It will take you longer but I’m sure it will happen for you. Best advice is to find a good doctor. PCOS isn’t uncommon.

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