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My husband loves my body, why can’t I? (Anonymous)

April 30, 2012

Age-24
Pregnancies/Births-1

Today I am 17 weeks postpartum.

Just a little background- I had always had self image problems. I remember puking in middle school until high school were during my junior year I met my now husband.He immediately was putting “meat” on my frail 80lb body. I am 5’2”. So I was really starved and needed the help. My husband and I have been together for 7 1/2 years now. Yes, do the math we met when I was 16. And my husband is 7 years older than I am as well.

During my pregnancy my Mother in Law who lives 2 hours away would say how “huge” I had gotten. I ended up almost destroying our relationship. I didn’t get ONE stretch mark until 32 weeks. After I had my beautiful baby girl I was proud of my baby and my body after the birth. This body created life. Something so beautiful! My husband and I were crazy for each other and our baby! We couldn’t keep our hands off each other- Just as we were just before birth and before I was carrying our baby. I had the birth I dreamed of. I managed the pain and had a natural birth. Our plans came together and we worked together beautifully during the birth.

And then life hit and my mom was in the room after I had taken a bath during the day after having my baby. “Oh my god, your stretch marks are worse than mine” I was still positive then- It had barely been 16 hours. I brushed it off. We come home and I still embrace them. I began nursing her and she grew like a weed! almost 3 pounds in 13 days! After she was a month old I began scrutinizing my body in the mirror. My legs had large amounts almost to my knee cap and my stomach had plenty as well. Ugh. I tried Mederma and used it religiously and would ask my husband if they looked any better.

Months later she still says my stretch marks are worse than hers because I have them on my legs as well. I can’t get over this. I have lost the 27 pounds I gained during pregnancy. And most of the marks have faded. She does ultrasound cavitation you may have seen it on Dr Oz. Anyways she has done that on them as well. And they look somewhat better. But I am to the point now I DO NOT want to be around her. I wear clothes that cover my mid section so she doesn’t have to see a roll or a mark. It’s the same in public as well. I will feel like a goddess at home in my clothes while nursing etc and then when I leave I feel like everyone knows. Everyone sees my marks my scars. They see my tattoo along with the scars and probably think yep she will never show that off again.

I want to wear my stretch marks with pride. My husband LOVES my body now. He loves rubbing it. Hell, He keeps me up most nights rubbing me and shaking my ass begging me to love on him and kiss him. He constantly wants to make love. And I can’t get over my body while making love. He wasn’t like this before- I swear- we loved one another but not like this. It is really like he is obsessed with me now. Why can’t I feel this good about my body if he does?

I am still in the process of healing my mind from the scarring. But, I come to this site often and love to read and look at photos and I figured why not. I could help someone else and it might help me as well. I want to feel like a goddess when I leave my home even when my husband isn’t beside me telling my how beautiful I am. I am afraid if I don’t fix my mind now it could take a toll on our relationship. If you don’t love yourself no one else can love you either.

Photo #1- 2010 photo I took for my husband before we got married.
Photo#2- 38 weeks pregnant- I gave birth just 2 weeks later but I remained the same measurements
photo #3- 3 months post-natal
Photo #4-3 months post-natal side view

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13 Responses to “My husband loves my body, why can’t I? (Anonymous)”

  1. amber H Says:
    April 30th, 2012 at 7:57 am

    GIRL! you will DEF get your shape back, your stretchies are ALREADY very light, give it a year! Exericse, eat healthy and AFTER a year do some tanning… those marks are nothiN! you look beautiful!

    check out my post blessed and tortured, regardless of how much weight i lost, i still have the tiger stripes. something i hate but have accepted!

  2. Courtney Says:
    April 30th, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    You look great! You’re only 17 weeks pp! Your stretch marks are tiny and once they lighten up you’ll barely be able to see them anyway. If you are able to be postive now, when most of us feel the worst after having a baby, focus on that as hard as your mom’s comments may be. My husband was the same way and though it’s hard to believe sometimes, at the end of the day their compliments are the only ones that matter :)

  3. Abby Says:
    April 30th, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    Feel like a goddess all the time, girl! You look awesome:)

  4. Cherylyn Says:
    April 30th, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    I felt the same way as you about my stretch marks– just give it time. Mine were bright purple for the first few months after I gave birth to my daughter. I was careful to stay out of the sun because it can make them less likely to fade. My daughter just celebrated her first birthday, and while my stretch marks are still visible, they faded and match my skin again. Good luck to you and your family.

  5. More Says:
    May 1st, 2012 at 10:14 am

    I looked just like you at that time and I got my shape back in about 6 months(weight) to a year(toning) I exercised and changed the way I ate drastically. Plus my baby was gluten intolerant while I was breastfeeding. focus on hobbies and being a whole and complete person. Try integrating berries salads fish and plenty of water. you WILL see a huge difference. integrate exercise with your baby and be happy. :)

  6. Ariana Says:
    May 1st, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    I have been coming to this site for years and have never posted a comment, but I just had to say that I think you look beautiful! Your husband sounds like a real sweetheart and a REAL man who appreciates the body the woman who gave life to his child. I wish more men were like that :)
    I know how hard it is to tune out rude comments from your mother. My mom was trying to convince me to have another baby and said something along the lines of “Why not have another? Your body is already ruined.” Wow, I was floored and hurt. It still upsets me 3 years later. I don’t think she meant to hurt my feelings, but she sure did without even realizing it. Please try not to let her upset you. Maybe if you mention that it makes you feel bad when she says things like that to you, she will stop.
    You really do look great and you’re only 17 weeks out! I would kill to have looked that good so soon after, hell, even now! Ha!
    Just wait until your body has had time to recover fully from pregnancy and birth, you’re a smokin hot mama! Keep your chin up, and keep thinking those Goddess thoughts! <3

  7. Lisa Says:
    May 2nd, 2012 at 10:54 am

    First, you are very lucky to have such a great husband. I think he loves even more now, because you are not only his life partner, but the mother of his child.

    You find it hard to except your body because the changes that pregnancy bring to our body are very quick and before you know it, the body you used to have your whole life has turned into something completely different (but not any less beautiful). It’s hard to except but you won’t neccessarily have to. Your stretch marks will fade with time and you still have the love of your husband and your great family. You will feeel better soon:)

  8. Raashida G. Says:
    May 2nd, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    I hadhorrible stretch marks that were dark purple. I though the were vericose viens for a while come to find out they were stretch marks.I promised myself that when I was done breast feeding I would have them lasered off but there was no nees because they faded significantly in the first few months and continue to. I am 17 months pp. Give it some time sis and dont let your mom determine how you feel about your body

  9. Rebekah Says:
    May 2nd, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    Girl you do look great, and it really does take atleast a good year for the body to heal. I had two babies back to back, and while I lost all of the weight quickly, I didn’t fit into my “old size” until mayb 8 or 9 months later. Now, I weigh less than before and this is 17 months pp. it takes time, and sometimes that’s a hard pill to swallow.

  10. Elise Says:
    May 5th, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    My stretch marks are kind of a reminder of my sons birth and all the good in life that came with this sunrisechild. Like a tattoo my body chose for itself. Im proud of them and all the work my body managed during 9 months to create the light of my life.

  11. L Says:
    May 6th, 2012 at 7:45 am

    You don’t negativity when you have an awesome husband and beautiful child. I would avoid her if she is saying awful things all the time. You couldnt help your marks its un your genes.. it was in mine also. Though mine are faded my husband loves me more now too. Enjoy your family and forget everything else it doesn’t matter. Be proud of your body.

  12. Aly Says:
    May 7th, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    You look beautiful in every photo, mama! It’s probably already been said but I wanted to put my 2 cents in, as well: tell your mom to piss off. The women in my family always have something to say about my body too and I know how hard it is to shake off their negative comments, but you just HAVE to in order to feel good about yourself! <3

  13. Nona Says:
    July 19th, 2014 at 11:51 pm

    Wow. Your mother sounds like a real asshole. I can’t believe any woman who had given birth and knows what it’s like to be that uncomfortable in your body for a little while would be so insensitive as to say such hurtful things literally hours after her daughter gave birth. Your mother in law also sounds like a real insensitive bitch. I’m sorry, I know you love these women, but there is no way in hell these women would enjoy hearing someone say those things to them wither before or after having a baby. I seriously wouldn’t want either one of them around me with their negativity, rudeness, and general attitude of tearing down. It’s disgusting. Enough about those witches though. First off, you are incredibly blessed to have a husband that seems to love the stuffin’s out of you just the way you are, and seems very proud to have a woman that brought forth a life that was formed and well taken care of, by the woman he chose to spend his life with. Continue to love on your husband and enjoy his very apparent love for you. As for your body, you look beautiful. Are there some battle scars? Sure. Do they make you ugly or undesirable? Hell no, and I’ll bet your hubby would be willing to sign that statement! The stretch marks will fade with time. Enjoy your family and enjoy being a warrior, because that’s what mothers and fathers are.

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