I’m now 25 and have always had huge body issues…even when I was thin. I always just hated my shape….my squarish hips and the fact that all my weight sits in my tummy/face while my arms and legs sta skinny. I didn’t like trying to be super thin, but if I wasn’t I just looked pregnant. I was jealous of girls who weighed much more but had this great shape. I’ve always had stretch marks and dimples on my butt for some reason. I tried to follow the advice to find a part you love, and that was my boobs. Not too big or small, perfect color and shape.
So when I got pregnant, my biggest fear was losing them and then having nothing i liked. I envisioned myself with big floppy boobs, saggy belly and covered in stretchmarks. During pregnancy, this site was a way to comfort myself but also to be honest had me crying a few times.
I gained 40lbs…most of it the last 6 weeks….that’s when the stretchmarks showed up on my belly and my legs. After I had my baby girl I was oddly pleased with my body…it had more of that shape I’d always envied…but I was so worried what my hubby would think about the stretchmarks. My belly button had been stretched and seems huge now. I’m still nursing, with a few light marks on them, but they feel so big and floppy I hate doing it sometimes….I’m hoping they’ll return to the right size, but scared of what they’ll look like. I dropped to under my pre-preggo weight within 3 months, but its not the same.
My baby girl is about to be 5 months old, and sometimes I feel better than ever about myself…I recently got a naval piercing to celebrate that. but its a love/hate relationship…I also have days where I still see how so much flop is in my belly and breasts, comparing myself to some model/mom friends i have….and think that people must be thinking i look like an apple on a stick, and my face seems squishier than ever. My husband is deployed, so I often send him pics but will take like 100 and weed it down to 2 that make me look good. I turn at an angle so i don’t look so bulky. I know he would never treat me differently, but sometimes I worry what he’ll secretly be thinking when he gets home…..
The first pic is 32 weeks
The second is 38 weeks
3rd is 3-4 weeks postpartum
4th is two months postpartum
Last two of me are 5 months
very last is my baby girl