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It’s Not the Same Body, But it’s Fine By Me (Anonymous)

October 7, 2010

Pre-pregnancy weight: 107
Labor weight: 160
Post-pregnancy weight: 104

I am posting because this site helped me so much. I came here mourning the body I used to have and wondering if I’d ever get it back.

The answer is: it’s not the same body, but in some ways it’s better.

I first came here in despair. I’d gained nearly 60 lbs. through pregnancy; over half my body weight. I was terrified. I’d never been overweight. My body was alien to me and I was scared of losing my husband because I did not remotely resemble myself. Though he would never leave me, my husband is the kind of man to whom physical appearance is very important. When I asked him, six weeks post-partum, when we were going to have sex again, he said: “When you lose the pregnancy weight.” Yes, I gave him hell, and yes he regrets saying it. But that really devastated me.

When nursing didn’t work, it dawned on me I had at least 45 lbs to lose without breastfeeding. I was so ashamed of my body. I hated it. I destroyed every photo of pregnancy and new-motherhood, except the one you see below. I wish I had them now, because I am secure enough to view it. I am not that woman.

Over the course of a year, I lost it all, plus some. I ran an hour every night, five days a week. It helps that I love to run! I did hand weights, yoga, pilates. Ate the food pyramid (www.mypyramid.gov). Today, I weigh my high-school weight. It really took the full year. For those post-partum like me, who are wondering how much can be changed, I cannot get my body back exactly as it was. I think the reason is loose skin from excessive weight gain. I will always have a pooch above the scar and I will always have some crepe paper skin when I bend. I will also, from time to time, always have the niggling voice that erodes my self confidence because my body is not that of a virgin! The smooth, flat tummy is gone. I can say with confidence that I have tried everything. Only a tummy tuck would change this, and I don’t want one. My body, to me (when I am rational!), is just fine. I can rock any outfit I want, including a bikini, and the stretch marks have completely faded. I am stronger than ever, our sex life is better than before, and we have an amazing boy. If I could say anything to new moms whose posts I read here, every day, I would say: Try. Even if you fail, you may really like what you end up with. I absolutely love my body and don’t regret a thing. Thank you to the moms who helped comfort and inspire me!

Age: 34
No. of pregnancies and births: 1/1
Age of children: 17 months

Photos: 3rd Trimester; Weight Loss 14 months PP; Pooch, Scar and Crepe Paper

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22 Responses to “It’s Not the Same Body, But it’s Fine By Me (Anonymous)”

  1. Shannon Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 8:19 am

    You look awesome!!!! I am 18 months pp with my 2nd (both cesareans)…I have 5 pounds to go before I am pre first baby weight! Do you have any exercise/diet tips? I will take anything! You look excellent…I just want to feel happy/healthy!

  2. Shannon Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 8:20 am

    Oh, it was nice of you to stay with your husband…but I am DISGUSTED by what he said to you.

  3. Colleen Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 8:56 am

    You look awesome! You don’t have any overhang on your scar either (which healed very well, BTW). If I saw you at the beach in that bikini I’d never guess you had a child, let alone gained 60 pounds. You go, mama! Your skin snapped back really well.

    And I totally would’ve smacked my husband if he said that to me! I guess I’m lucky that I married a man who loves curvy women, and that he’s gained more weight since we got together than I have. But seriously, who says something like that?

  4. Kat Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 9:24 am

    Wow! Check out that 6 pack! You go girl!

  5. KatieM Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 9:25 am

    Wow, you have GREAT ab muscles! Good for you for sticking with a routine and improving your confidence :)

  6. josee Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 9:52 am

    you look awesome and you man is an idiot for saying that to you…you have great breast too, not too big and not too small..totally jealous, i wish i had your boobs girl, mine are so big and saggy i hate it, be happy!

  7. liz Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 10:33 am

    ummm you breastfed and your boobs look like that?! i am incredibly jealous. good work lady!

  8. Sarah P. Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Oh my gosh, look at those stomach muscles!!! Bravo, mama!

    Liz – it’s not breastfeeding that makes one’s breasts sag, it’s pregnancy itself and the process of a woman’s – any woman’s – breasts creating more milk ducts which then “deflate” after she stops lactating.

  9. Tiphanie Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    You look awesome! Congrats on the hard work paying off! I dont see any loose skin or overhang! Way to go Mama,, and I say, every once in a while,, make that man beg just a little lol

  10. Astrid Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 12:33 am

    I was thinking the same thing as liz: you breastfed and your boobs look like that? Your breast looks phenomenal – as do the rest of your body… you just look so healthy. Me too I try to live and active life but I have been very unstructured lately; you´ve inspired me to get a grip and get back into a routine. I am gonna lift my butt and go out and take a long walk right now! Thank you for posting!!:-)

  11. Mary V Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 6:52 am

    Look at those abs and your breasts are sooooo perky! Go mama!

  12. Author Kris Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 11:20 am

    Ladies, I only breast fed for 3 weeks. It failed
    – I wasn’t producing enough milk after my baby was in the NICU. I don’t want you to think that these boobs went through the whole experience! They didn’t!! But they did go from EE back to B.

    Thank you for all the kind words. For those who asked, I use running and a low-cal, low-fat diet with lots of veggies, fruits, nonfat dairy and lean protein. I used mypyramid.gov as a calorie tracker. I took baby running with me, and I also used Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred during nap time.

    And I do, on occasion, make DH beg : )

  13. jenni Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    wish i could get my hubbie to beg … you look so amazing! wow. be proud and enjoy your little one:)

  14. liz Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    i know it’s not the breastfeeding that does the actual sagging part, i just meant by the time my milk came in my boobs were history: saggy and stretch marked to oblivion. i’m just super impressed that her milk came in and they still came out so gorgeous. thanks for the info though, sarah p. :)

  15. ames Says:
    October 9th, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    quick question: i also always hear that pregnancy does the real boob damage and nursing just takes the blame. i don’t understand that though. i don’t think the actual baby sucking does damage, but milk coming in so quickly (i went from an A to a D in a week. ouch.) and then re-filling and being emptied 8-12 times a day seems like it would do a lot of damage. my size didn’t change until after baby was born and the milk came. and now, after nursing for a year and weaning, my boobs look like someone grabbed my nip and pulled on them as hard as they could. streeetch marks/droopy galore. TMI! but I’m just curious about this breastfeeding v. pregnancy conversation. ps: you look so great! i wish i could run for an hour. stamina! that’s impressive right there!!

  16. Colleen Says:
    October 10th, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Ames, my guess would be (and this is all just conjecture), that it’s pregnancy and the initial engorgement that do the stretching. I nursed for 13 months, and my breasts never got as big and rock-hard as they did when my milk first came in (even when I worked an 8-hour shift, then traveled two hours, and went to church all without pumping). Even women who don’t breastfeed engorge at the beginning. I don’t know, just a thought.

    And to the original poster…I can’t believe you were ever an EE! Holy cow they went back to normal perfectly! I’d kill for your breasts, you can have my F-H cups any day (I haven’t been sized since I weaned, so I don’t know *exactly* where I fit…).

  17. Michelle Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    Wow! You look awesome! How are your boobs looking so good?! They look like “virgin” boobs!

  18. Ray Says:
    October 13th, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Hi there, not often i comment being a male, although I often visit this site and am facinated by the physcology behind so many of the posts. I also find mother hood an incredible period for a woman, in fact truely amazing to see from a male perspective. Some times men can be very in sensitive to a womans emotions, so i will say that you husband most probably made his remark with out real thought that is why he regrets it now. But for a man, the changes you are all sharing here can also be quite hard, as often the woman we met, both physicaly and mentally change with motherhood, so we to have to grow and learn to accept, appreciate and admire our women as mothers, for some it is easy for others it may be harder….

  19. Jinx Says:
    October 30th, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    You look amazing. Job well done!

    I’m sorry your husband wasn’t more sensitive at a time you needed him to be.

  20. Jenni Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    You look amazing! I feel the same way that you do about your body (when I am rational as well :) )
    You are rocking a hot bod and boobs – both real!! You are a mother – one hot momma. You are not the same and that is for the better. Way to go!

  21. L Says:
    February 13th, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    you look amazing!!!

  22. Christi Says:
    August 12th, 2012 at 2:07 am

    I’m loving your abs! You look amazing.

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